


Brilliant

by Royal_Darjeeling



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Bones wants to forget what he saw, Chekov is a Womaniser, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Joanna is arrogant, Post-Five Year Mission, Sulu just wants to bang their heads together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 60,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royal_Darjeeling/pseuds/Royal_Darjeeling
Summary: The word 'brilliant' always followed Pavel Chekov and quite frankly Joanna McCoy didn't understand it.
Relationships: Joanna McCoy & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Mirror Pavel Chekov/Mirror Joanna McCoy, Pavel Chekov/Joanna McCoy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 11





	1. I don't give a damn about my reputation

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a piece I wrote back in 2016 following the release of Star Trek Beyond. Much of the characterisation of Chekov follows the portrayal in the film, and since what happened with Anton, I never wanted to post it. Instead, I wrote it all down for my own sanity - I can't stop thinking about a story until it's down on paper - and I have only just rediscovered it again. It seemed a shame to keep it hidden, especially since this ship is criminally underwritten. This piece is already finished and I am uploading it chapter by chapter as I finish editing my five year old mistakes. There are elements in it that I'm not keen on, but I don't have the time to change.
> 
> This story is an amalgamation of the Kelvin universe, Original Series, spin offs and my own lore so please don't be put off if any plot points or characterisation seems amiss. I didn’t write in Chekov and Jo’s accents but rest assured, they are there.
> 
> Rated for language, themes, and references to sex.

Joanna knew who he was the moment her eyes fell on him. That hair, the accent, the cavalier way the blue Starfleet crew jacket hung from his shoulders. She had heard too much about him from the girls at the academy to know him when she saw him - everyone knew of his ways. Plus, of course, he worked with her father upon the Enterprise – though, her father told her much different stories from what she heard in other places. Pavel Chekov: brilliant, genius, Starfleet legend - and complete ladies’ man.

He was notorious. Everyone knew someone who had been ensnared by his ways, he had broken the hearts of many students and teachers alike. All this and he’d only been back on Earth a few weeks since he’d returned from his five-year mission. He had stayed in San Francisco to meet new people, having made his way through all of the girls on his ship that would have him (allegedly) and the protégé of Captain Jim Kirk knew exactly where to hunt. She should have known to expect him at the nightclub for student night when she arrived, he had been there most nights apparently. Cheap drinks, desperate women wishing to climb the ranks (or whoever) whatever way that they could, and good music. Joanna knew the moment she heard of his adventures that it was only a matter of time before she ran into him. 

From the way he had one arm wrapped around a fellow med student named Jeanie, while his eyes fell upon another girl across the room, it was evident his pursuit would be a success that night. Joanna rolled her eyes at the thought as she went to join her friends dancing by the DJ, wondering just how much her father truly knew about his ways...

* * *

It was the third time she saw him at the bar that he decided that she would be his conquest tonight. For some reason she wasn’t privy to, the Enterprise was still docked on Earth, despite only intending to stay three weeks maximum according to her father. The stalling seemed, however, to have played up to Mr Chekov’s plans nicely and from what her friends had heard he had been at the club almost every night. It was a wonder he had not got tired of the chase… _addicts_ , she shook her head at the thought.

Still, she was more than happy to let him continue on his path of pleasure and destruction as long as he stayed out of her way. Joanna was far from being a prude, and she believed in freedom as much as the next person. He was perfectly entitled to do what he wanted, she just wished he didn’t have to be so ruthless about it. She had heard that wherever he went, he left an angry girl in his wake, moving through women like they were dirty laundry. One day he would meet someone that would make him regret his life choices, she only hoped that day would come sooner rather than later, for the sake of her fellow women everywhere. 

Joanna, however, didn’t expect that reckoning to come from her.

“What is your drink of choice?”

He appeared at her side as she waited for her friends outside the bathroom, wearing the familiar blue jacket and leaning against the wall in a way that would make most girls swoon. Immediately she sighed, not wishing to go into how inappropriate him talking to her was. Clearly, he did not know her identity nor did she want to reveal that to him anytime soon. That was something she would only reveal when it most hurt – if it had to come to that.

“What is that peculiar phrase you Americans like so much? Cat got your tongue? Did you know it was actually invented in Russia?”

She could see him smirking at her out of the corner of her eye, his eyes boring into her with an intensity she knew all too well. It was the same look she saw time after time from womanisers all around, but it certainly wasn’t working on her. Though, he didn’t need to know that just yet.

With a determined smile to herself, Joanna turned to face the young navigator, matching his position against the wall. “Ensign Chekov – how lovely it is that you back on earth, sir.” 

The use of his name appeared to have taken him by surprise and for a fleeting moment Joanna saw a slight fall in his confidence. Like any professional, however, he quickly regained his persona before it was missed.

“Ah, so you have heard of me?” His accent was slightly more standardised that she remembered from the brief exposure she had to it in her father’s video messages, though it was still there, and still very much hanging on every word that fell from his mouth. “Though, it is lieutenant now. I got promoted.” 

“My apologies, Lieutenant,” she smiled back at him, her eyelashes fluttering in a way he would just love.

“Is that a Southern accent I hear? Perhaps an Old Fashioned would be nice? Or a Mint Julep? I’ve been told that is most popular in those parts.” His hand came to rest above her head, leaning his face much closer to hers than she would like.

“You are correct…” she trailed off, allowing her eyes to linger over his body, attempting to raise his excitement using his own tools against him. “Though Lieutenant, I’m not like other southern girls.”

“Oh?” He smirked, his free hand rising up to find their way into the strands of her long, brown hair that hung loose around her shoulders. The movement alone almost made her shudder. _The absolute swine._

Maybe it was her McCoy temper that brought a premature end to her scheme, or maybe it was simply a result of the disgusting look in his eyes like she was a piece of meat to devour that sent her over the edge. Regardless, Joanna abandoned all plans she had for Pavel Chekov in the space of a second, glancing down with a smile briefly as she took in his positioning.

“I like bourbon – straight,” Joanna smirked back at him, raising her eyebrow as her hand fell to his bicep, squeezing his muscle but, more importantly, holding him in place.

Then, just as he opened his mouth to say something in response, she raised a knee straight into his crotch just as her mother had taught her, sending him buckling over with the most satisfying groan.

She leaned down, growling a warning into his ear. “That’s for Jeanie for two weeks ago and any other girl you’ve screwed over since then.” She stood up, straightening herself off as she watched him still bent over, satisfied at her handiwork. “Now, Lieutenant, I would like nothing better than for you to fuck off.”

As if on cue, her now very tipsy friends began to glide out of the bathroom, calling her over to them and prompting Joanna to throw Chekov one last sarcastic smile before she left. It wasn’t the elaborate plan she was thinking of, but it certainly worked just as well.


	2. I think I've seen this film before

They didn’t meet again until after her position was announced following her graduation. Junior medical assistant upon the USS Constellation _,_ a relatively lower position than she hoped to end up as, but certainly acceptable for a recent graduate. Besides, she had a MD to achieve before she could become a doctor in her own right, she had to get some practice in somehow. Her father had unfortunately missed her ceremony, but she knew it wouldn't be long until the two met once again in the stars.

It was meant to be a routine research project, a collaboration between three of the fleet's smaller ships upon a distant planet when they were hailed to aid the Enterprise after their most recent mission went awry. Their crew was scattered within a nearby galaxy, their transport capabilities mysteriously not functioning with only Lieutenant Sulu and the gamma shift members in control of the ship. The captain, first officer, communication officer, an array of security officers, and, most annoyingly, Pavel Chekov were in need of rescuing on a supposedly uninhabited planet. 

Whatever their mission was, Joanna was never told, she only knew that she had to assist with giving the crew they had picked up medical attention so they were fit to return back to their own ship when they could. She should have guessed that it was just her luck to receive the young navigator under her care.

She saw his eyes narrow at the sight of her approaching the bed which he sat on, his hands clutching an unravelled bandage to his forehead. He appeared to have been in a fight, or fallen from a height, either way, Joanna hoped it had hurt.

“You!” He scowled pointedly at her. Evidently, he remembered their time together as fondly as she did. 

“Lieutenant Chekov, what have you been getting yourself into this time?” She spoke with forced humility, the sarcastic tone not lost on the both of them.

Chekov glared at her for a moment longer as he decided whether or not to answer her. He hated her, a thought which pleased her greatly. After a moment he pulled his hand away from his head and began to speak. “Klingon recon team… thought we were there for them.” 

As a medical woman, she did not get any satisfaction from seeing her patient’s injuries, but even she couldn’t help feeling pleased at the sight of the deep cut he had above his eyebrow. It must have hurt, and it would scar without her treatment. As much as she would have liked him to suffer a little longer, she was aware of her duty and the fact that they were surrounded by a number of both their respective colleagues.

Sighing, she made her way over to the tray of supplies besides the bed. She would need to clean the wound first before she could repair it, the process would only take her five minutes at most. Though that was five minutes she would rather spend elsewhere. 

“Look at me,” she ordered, moving his face with her hands a little more rough than necessary so she could get a better angle. 

“So… will I live?” His eyes met hers daringly, a very slight smirk appearing at his lips.

Joanna had to swallow down an insult she was desperate to let out at seeing him having another go at her. She couldn’t believe his tack… He was shooting her daggers only moments prior, he just couldn't help himself.

“Sadly yes,” she bit back at him as she prepared the cleaning fluid, not bothered if her venomous words were overheard.

“Why do you hate me so?” Chekov smiled at her, clearly enjoying the challenge she was presenting. 

“Oh, let me have a think,” she spoke under her breath as she raised a cloth to his wound, earning her a satisfying hiss from him. “You’re an overconfident, cocky, swine of a man who thinks with his penis and does not care who or what damage he causes as long as he has someone to keep his bed warm each night.” 

“Ah, so nothing too bad then?” He grinned boyishly, though there was a glint behind his eyes telling her she had hit a nerve with her words. “What is your name? You know mine.” He spoke before she had time to retaliate.

“Not a chance,” she spoke through clenched teeth, unaware of how he could annoy her so much. She pulled the cloth from his forehead and turned to pick up another piece of equipment.

Chekov sighed, dejected. 

If it wasn’t for the low buzzing noise being emitted from the machine being used to heal his wound, Joanna was certain he would have tried making another pass at her. She wasn’t quite sure how he didn’t get the message that she wasn’t interested in his advances. On second thought, Joanna figured that perhaps that was just how he liked it, the fight. The thought that she was giving him what he wanted made her temper flare. Well, not exactly what he wanted, she knew that for certain. In fact, she would have been in the right to tell him just why his play for her was so inappropriate but there was something telling her to hold off on that.

She had never expected all those years ago when she heard all the heroic stories from her father about his crew that Chekov – the brilliant genius who stumbled on his English – would end up hitting on her relentlessly as she treated him. Her father had told her how wonderfully polite the young man was, how he had more brains than sense and was the most loyal man imaginable. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he would have turned into this. She had heard of Kirk’s womanising ways, and that Chekov had been taken under his wing of sorts, but this? 

Just before the wound had finished healing, her superior caught her eye from behind Chekov. She knew the look immediately and let her eyes meet hers, waiting for the latest command. 

“Joanna, is Lieutenant Chekov able to be transported? The crew have fixed the ship and are awaiting their arrival.” 

Joanna inwardly groaned as she saw the look of pure amusement flash across his face at the revealing of her name. She gave a quick nod in response before drawing her attention back to the patient in front of her.

Throwing her supplies down a little too hard, Joanna inadvertently revealed her dismay to him, causing the biggest grin ever to appear on his face. He was pleased with himself, something which infuriated her. 

“Well, I should hope that we will meet again,” he hopped down from the bed with an annoying flourish, leering down at her, the smirk still there upon his face. “Joanna.” He chose to finish with her name.

He was only a few inches taller than her, the perfect height for her to reach up and slap him. She was tempted, and if it wasn’t for her senior officer being only a few feet away she would have. 

“And I certainly hope not,” Joanna grumbled, glaring at him as he passed by her to follow an escort out of the Medbay towards the transporter. 

He sent her one more smug glance before he left the room, making her blood boil.


	3. I play my part and you play your game

Their next meeting occurred completely by accident, and it was one that she would remember for some time. Of all the places she expected to see him, the Natural History Museum, London, inside the Dinosaur Exhibition during a special black-tie event was not one of them. She was only there by chance. George, the man who was currently occupying space in her dating life just happened to be the son of one of the curators there and had invited her to their annual gala celebrating the trustees of the museum. He was trying to impress her, and to be fair to him he was so far successful.

The jury was still out on George and her. Some days she thought the world of him, others she couldn’t wait to get rid of him. He was nice and polite, yet spineless and would happily let her win any argument they may have. He had a good job, his business had a deal with Starfleet so he was well connected but there was something about him that wasn’t quite up to her standard. Still, she was more than happy to go along with his romantic plans while she made up her mind. Besides, she got to buy such a wonderful black cocktail dress to wear to the event, making it more than worthwhile.

The presence of Pavel Chekov had gone completely unnoticed by her, the museum was such a big place after all. That is, she was unaware of him until he came sliding on over to her, just like he had done at the club, the moment George had left her side to go talk to his mother. In his absence, she became very aware by the fact she knew nobody else there, and she definitely didn’t feel like mixing with posh strangers with only one glass of champagne inside of her. Instead, she had taken to looking at the exhibitions, studying them each diligently, hoping that George would return soon and put him out of her misery. She was staring at the bones of one of the creatures, it’s neck longer than any species she had ever seen, alien or otherwise, when Chekov decided to make his move.

“Your boyfriend smells like fish,” he decided to start with, her familiar voice immediately setting her on edge.

Her eyes darted around the room, hoping to find George somewhere near so she had an excuse to leave him. Begrudgingly, he was nowhere in sight, so instead Joanna was forced to turn towards him with a glare. In theory, she could have ignored him and given him the silent treatment, but the McCoy temper within her would not let her back away from the challenge. He was in a dark coloured suit, one clearly tailored to fit him. Joanna had to admit it was nice to see him out of that damn blue jacket.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” she replied instinctually, making sure to sound forceful enough that he wouldn’t take it as a hint. “And no, he doesn’t.”

He did though. Joanna hadn’t a clue when he had eaten something fishy but there certainly was an odd smell about him that evening. Then it dawned on her that he must have been watching them, and at some point decided to check out George himself, close enough to smell him. _That little…_

“You look stunning,” he muttered like he actually meant it.

She was not sure what to say to his last remark, so she chose instead to ignore it.

“What are you doing here, Lieutenant Chekov?” Joanna groaned bitterly, taking a large swig of her drink, draining it completely. If she was going to go through this conversation, she might as well do it drunk.

Chekov, however, was unfazed by her demeanour, and flashed her a fantastic grin that was far away from the flirty looks he had given her before. “I have connections.”

Joanna rolled her eyes, she knew exactly what that meant. “Which trustee are you sleeping with?” 

“None, actually,” the smile dropped off his face, a look of disappointment appeared there instead. 

Joanna was not sure why, but she believed him. Anyway, it was unlikely that he had slept his way through all the girls in Starfleet that he had been forced to go to London.

Her eyebrow raised quizzically. “Changed your ways?” 

Chekov responded with a chuckle, shaking his head at her teasing. He turned his attention to the bones in front of him, leaning down against the bar surrounding the exhibition in a way that could only be described as suave. The two fell into silence, and Joanna took the opportunity to plan another way to knee him in the crotch without anyone seeing.

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think? Something so old and mighty.”

There was a truth in his words, he meant it. She could tell by his tone, by the distant look in his eyes as he took them in. Still, despite his marvel at the bones, Joanna could see right through to his intentions.

Joanna lent forward onto the bar, getting onto his level before breaking him out of his trance. “Chekov, we both know you haven’t come over here to make small talk about dinosaurs.”

In an instant, Chekov turned his head to meet her gaze, a handsome smile upon his lips. Even Joanna had to admit he was charismatic when he tried to be. Nonetheless, it would never work on her – ever.

“Have a drink with me?” He spoke softly to her, his accent butchering the word ‘drink’ in a way she refused to think of as charming.

For the briefest of moments, Joanna found herself actually considering his offer. Only for a moment. Once she realised just what he had asked her, Joanna’s bite came out in full force. 

“I can’t. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m on a date right now,” she spat back at him, her arms crossing across her chest in defiance.

She couldn’t believe the cheek of him. Never before had she met anyone with as much tenacity as Pavel Chekov, nor with the sheer courage to keep on coming back despite a number of rejections. She supposed that’s how he got so many women, eventually they would sleep with him just to make him go away.

“Ah, so the only reason you won’t is because of this other man!” He smirked at her, shaking a knowing finger at her.

“I didn’t say that,” she retaliated without missing a beat, moving closer to him and forcing him to square up against her. “Listen to me, and listen carefully as I want to get into that thick skull of yours. I will never, NEVER, have a drink from you.”

Joanna may have been mistaken, but she was sure she saw a terrified look behind his eyes. 

“Ouch,” he smiled wearily, trying to laugh off her insults even though they both knew they had had their intended effect. “You have me all wrong, Joanna.”

It was Joanna’s time to laugh. There was no convincing her, she’d met too many men like him to know otherwise.

“Do I? You toy with hearts and probably have god knows how many diseases,” one glance towards his crotch indicated what exactly she was referring to.

Chekov sighed, appearing to yield his advances this time around. “Fair enough. I’ll change your mind eventually – “ 

“No, you won’t,” she interrupted before he could go any further.

“And for the record: I’m completely clean,” he mumbled, his eyes flickering to the approaching figure behind her.

Joanna let out a sign of relief at the arm that wrapped around her. George. The man always did have the best timing.

“Joanna, I don’t seem to have met your friend?” There was a sharpness to his voice that indicated he knew exactly what the nature of their conversation had been.

Chekov gave the man a once over, almost as if he was eyeing him up for size, debating whether to test his strength right there and then. Whatever it was he was planning, he must have decided not to act on it. Instead, he reached out a steady hand to shake his. 

“I’m –“ 

“Leaving. He’s just leaving,” Joanna interrupted once more, trying to scare him away with his eyes.

George shifted uncomfortably next to her. “Well, you heard the lady.”

Chekov nodded reluctantly. “Goodbye, Jo. Until we meet again.”

Throwing Joanna one last look, Chekov began to back away before turning away completely, leaving Joanna alone with George and the smell of fish.


	4. I want your drama, the touch of your hand

When Joanna heard that the captain of the Enterprise was throwing her father a surprise 50th birthday party, she knew the time to reveal herself to the young navigator had come. He most certainly would be there, and there was no way that her father would not acknowledge her presence at his own party. She had planned to keep her identity a secret for as long as she could. Purely, of course, for her own enjoyment and not to prolong their meetings – the idea that if he found out he would be completely mortified was too delightful to give up so carelessly. There was no way Chekov would not find out if he hadn’t already figured it out in the meantime. The party had forced her hand. Joanna only hoped that she could reveal it to him on her own terms, in the most satisfying of ways. Thought the chances of that happening was completely up to fate.

Joanna did decide to test fate that evening, however. Deliberately, she donned her best dress, a blue number with a plunging back yet a conservative front – her father would not be angry but there would be enough skin to turn the head of a certain cocky man who had found himself attracted to her. She wished for it to catch his attention, to bring him over to her before her father made it obvious their connection. After examining herself in her bedroom mirror for what must have been the fortieth time that night, Joanna knew she had made the right choice - there was no way he wouldn't come over to see her that evening.

"You're really wearing that to your Dad's party?" Her roommate, Sehar, eyed her suspiciously in the mirror.

Joanna knew it was risky - her dad was always very protective over her, especially since they had hardly seen each other as she grew up. But the dress was one of her more father appropriate ones she had in her Academy wardrobe, and besides, it went all the way down to her knees. It was not like she had many other options either. There really wasn't any reason to bring casual clothes there, they were always in uniform. The only clothes needed were for formal events and nights out, which automatically eliminated half of her wardrobe for the party. There was no way she was going to turn up in something she would wear to the club, her father's eyes would bulge out of his head (and maybe Chekov's too).

"It's not that revealing," Joanna turned to face Sehar, her hands on her hips.

They had been paired together since they had started at the Academy, but the two of them certainly hadn't been fast friends. Joanna had argued with the life scientist from the moment they had met, over everything from interstellar politics to who was the hottest actor around. But, as much as Sehar made her angry, she also loved her as the sister she never had. Even when they had been arguing, they were together through thick and thin, and it was precisely that connection that meant they had never left each other. Since their graduation, the two had decided to continue bunking together, renting an apartment near Starfleet Headquarters for whenever they were planet side. Sadly, the two had been assigned to different starships, she on the Constellation and Sehar on the Enterprise. Although, it probably had saved her from a lot of drama not being with her all the time.

"Girl, you got it bad," Sehar cautioned, turning back to her PADD.

Joanna narrowed her eyes, not sure what she meant by that. With Sehar, it was hard to know whether she meant what she said, or whether she just said something to cause trouble. Joanna loved her for it though.

"You like him," Sehar continued, smirking.

Joanna took her bait, biting in an instant. "No, I don't."

"Thou doth protest too much," she teased, winding her up even further. "You know you don't need to wear that dress to get his attention, you're wearing it to drive him crazy."

"I'm wearing it to give him a lesson," Jo crossed her arms, choosing to ignore how close to a nerve Sehar had managed to get.

Sehar groaned, throwing Joanna a judgemental look that screamed that she knew she was right. It was infuriating.

"And that lesson is, what? I'm playing hard to get and I'm going to embarrass you because I get off on it?"

"No, I don't," Joanna scowled.

"You know you love a challenge," Sehar shook her finger at her. "The only reason you liked George so much was because he paid you no attention. You just can't do anything easily. Besides, who says he needs a lesson - and why does it have to be you?"

It was true. She only got interested in George because he ignored her upon their first meeting, and she broke things off with him because he began to pay her too much attention after she had decided she didn't really like him. As stubborn as she was, Joanna knew when she was losing an argument, but that didn't mean she was going to concede anytime soon.

"This is different."

Sehar rolled her eyes, "Yeah, because this one actually likes you to begin with. You know, I haven't heard anything about him with any girls on the ship for so long. Janice Rand from Operations told me he'd gone cold turkey. There’s a couple of girls angry at him for it too, apparently. Seems something, or someone, has turned his head…” Sehar grinned cheekily at her.

If it were true, and there was every reason for it not to be, it was none of her business what he did. In fact, it was perhaps more evidence that she had to continue on with her plan, making him learn his lesson, once and for all when he was weakened. Though, if it was true then it meant he must be wanting to change… she started to feel unease at the prospect.

* * *

She had barely made it into the hotel bar close to Headquarters when he spotted her. She could feel his eyes on her long before he approached. Part of her wished he had jumped at the opportunity. Other than him, the captain and her father, she didn’t know anyone else in the room. She recognised names and faces, but not confidently enough to walk up to them. Wherever her father and the captain were, she did not know. The fact she was actually wishing him to come over was astounding even to her.

It didn’t take him long either, within five minutes of her finding a perfectly positioned spot by a window overlooking the bay, the Lieutenant had slid up next to her, drinks in hand.

He chose to forgo any introduction.

“Where is your boyfriend?” 

And just like that, her plan was in motion. The only thing missing was the presence of her father, but he would come, and hopefully he would have impeccable timing.

“We broke up. And anyway, I told you he was not my boyfriend,” she grumbled, instantly annoyed at his comment about George.

“Ah, what a shame,” she could hear the smirk through his voice. “I liked him.”

Joanna scoffed.

“No, you didn’t.”

His cool fingertips lingered over her exposed back, getting her full attention. Outstretched in his other hand was a bourbon, a double by the looks of it, with no ice. Her exact order. _Well, at least he listened to something…_

“Bourbon?” He put on his most handsome smile.

Without giving it a second thought, Joanna snatched the drink out of his hand. Catching sight of the satisfied look upon his face, she rolled her eyes.

“This is not an acceptance; I just need a drink.”

Chekov’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as his hand fell from her back leaving a lingering spot of heat in its wake. She paled slightly under his examination.

“What’s happened?” The concerned look upon his face was clearly an act.

Truthfully, there was nothing that had happened that warranted her in so badly needing a drink. Her breakup with George – if it could even be called a breakup – happened weeks ago. She’d had another fight with her mother, but when was she not fighting with her mother? Her father always told her she was so like him, it was no wonder she quarrelled with her mother. She had a good job and was progressing nicely, she was even eyeing up a promotion that would bring her onto the Enterprise. Then there was the whole starting to feel bad that she was going to embarrass him... No, there was nothing major that worried her, but she had been feeling down rather of late, regardless. Yet, she was definitely not going to tell him that.

“None of your damn business.”

_God, she sounded like her father._

Chekov chuckled to himself, taking the hint better than all the other ones she had given him. He settled in next to her, leaning against the window in a way she was certain would make other girls swoon. His heat was comforting, and Joanna found herself happy to be close to his warmth. As much as she despised him, she had to admit it was nice to feel a steady presence next to her. If they kept up their meetings, she might even get used to it.

She caught sight of her father at last, laughing to someone she knew to be Montgomery Scott. He hadn’t changed much since the photos her father had shown her, and was just as loud as she imagined. They looked happy, it was nice to see. She always worried about her lonely old papa lost in the stars. It was one of the reasons she wanted to move onto the Enterprise.

“Well, what are you doing here?” His question brought her out of her thoughts. “Not many graduates would get invited to this party.”

That was it, he’d done it now. The spell would be broken and Joanna would have fun no longer. At the very least she would enjoy this. 

With a sip of her drink, Joanna turned to him with a leer.

“Oh Lieutenant. You haven’t worked it out yet, have you?” She couldn’t help the wave of smugness that came over her at seeing the confusion upon his face. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

“No?” His mind was at work, his eyes betraying the thoughts evidently flashing through his head. “Should I?”

“If you really paid attention, you would know,” Joanna practically sang at him, looking forward to his reaction when the penny finally dropped. 

She allowed herself to enjoy the moment for just a little longer, watching as he wracked his brain for an answer, a smile still on his face, like he was excited for the challenge. Oh, how she couldn’t wait to wipe that look from his face. 

With a sigh, she knew it was time to break the allusion. For someone so brilliant, he was being incredibly slow.

“How many Sickbay workers do you know named Joanna? Who works on the USS Constellation? And would be invited to the CMO of the Enterprise’s 50th birthday party?” His smile dropped, and Joanna felt the thrilling rise of pride as his mind came to terms with it. “Ring a bell yet?”

Then it hit him. His eyes would have bulged out of his head if they could (though, she had seen it before).

“Mc- McCoy?” It sounded like he choked on air. _How satisfying._

“Yep,” Joanna made special care to pop the ‘p’.

Chekov replied sharply with something in Russian, before running his hand through his hair in a huff. His cheeks were turning a very vivid shade of pink. A string of words fell out of his mouth, both standard and Russian but he did not make much sense at all.

“I-I-I’m… sorry.”

And with that he fell quiet, his hand that never once left his hair through the whole ordeal found its resting spot behind his neck. He looked as if he wished the world to swallow him whole. Joanna found it all rather pleasing. 

“Well Lieutenant, you should be thankful that I didn’t allow this to continue any further. What would my dear pa say?” She grinned behind her glass, her eyes teasing. 

Chekov could only make an exasperated noise, his hand falling down to his side, mirroring his spirits. Then, with timing gifted to her from the gods, her father had caught her eye, making his way over to her with open arms. They had seen each other only a few days before, but they had a lifetime of missed reunions to make up for. 

“Dad!”

She turned her attention fully towards her father, falling into his embrace and returning his warmth. She didn’t even need to look back to know Chekov was squirming, his nervous energy radiated from him like a star. 

Pulling out of their embrace, her father brought the young Lieutenant back into the conversation. Joanna saw Chekov swallow heavily. She loved seeming him so uncomfortable. 

“Mr. Chekov, I see you have met my daughter! Jo, has this guy been telling you any stories about me? I can assure you that they are all lies. Never trust Russians!” Her father was beaming. If he noticed anything amiss, he did not act any differently.

Chekov opened his mouth to reply, only to look more like a deer in the headlights.

Joanna toyed with the idea of telling him just what his colleague was doing there. She very much doubted her father would approve of his actions and she was eager to see how it would play out. Unfortunately, she would never be that cruel, however funny it would be.

“Don’t worry, he’s only been telling me good things,” Joanna swept in to save him from any further embarrassment. “You better have come over here to introduce me to everyone, I’ve been standing over here like a wallflower until I spotted Mr. Chekov.” 

“I would never pass the opportunity to show you off,” Bones grabbed her hand, pulling her away without any mention of the Russian’s awkward behaviour.

“I’m sure we will meet again, Mr. Chekov,” Joanna called over her shoulder at the relieved man, her eyes trying her hardest to convey it was all in jest. He gave her a meek smile in response.

Joanna’s face dropped as she turned away, the impact of what she had just done being communicated to her in just that one look. That was mean of her, cruel even. 

At least he wouldn’t bother her from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there will be repercussions to Jo's mean streak thats for sure.


	5. I played with your heart, got lost in the game

Pavel Chekov was ignoring her – a complete u-turn on where they had been before. Joanna understood that her new position on the Enterprise would well and truly set the cat amongst the pigeons, for both him and her father. While her dad was struggling to fall back into the role of the ever-present father, he was giving it his best shot and succeeding most of the time. Chekov, however, was angry, and she had expected him to lash out at her for her deception. Part of her would not be surprised if he had continued his pursuit of her, perhaps the newfound information of her family links would have only increased the challenge and thereby his excitement. But no, Chekov was ignoring her completely. Whenever they happened upon the same room, he always found a reason to leave, and when he couldn’t, his eyes would never meet hers, nor would he respond to her small talk. 

He had also started speaking to other women again. She’d seen him at it in the Mess Hall, some low ranking crewmates surrounding him and hanging off every word. Sehar had told her that he was back to his usual tricks too, and that a girl from Engineering was his current conquest. It only made her rage even stronger.

It was infuriating. The absence of him was more aggravating to her than his perpetual pursuit. Joanna found the matter terribly confusing, but not so much that she felt the need to be the one to resolve it. He had made this situation, and, though she certainly took liberties with his feelings, the responsibility was all on him. Quite frankly, she could live with his absence and, after all, it was him who was having to commit to ignoring her, she didn’t have to make any effort.

Still, she continued to be annoyed at him.

What made matters worse, however, was that she was annoyed at herself. That night after the party, she had hardly slept from tossing and turning over her actions. As much as she disliked him, what she had done was below the belt. She should have handled the situation better, she should have told him straight away or not played up to it. Instead, she had acted childish, going along with despicable pranks and for what? To teach him a lesson she had no right to teach him? To keep his attention? Regardless of her intent, she knew it was not okay. 

Part of her, the non-stubborn selfless part knew she needed to resolve the situation somehow. She was an adult now, and in a place of work. She shouldn’t be making such bad decisions, especially when her new colleague was involved. As far as she was aware, no one on the crew except for the two of them and Sehar knew what had happened that night or prior to it, but Joanna was not naïve enough to presume it would stay that way. What worried her though, is she knew if Chekov tried to say something to her about it, to apologise or scold her for it, whatever it was, she would not back down. She knew she should, that her actions were not the entire issue, that it was not black and white – but it definitely felt that way to her. Logically she knew apologising for her actions didn’t mean he didn’t have to apologise for his, but she just couldn’t bring herself to believe that wholeheartedly.

Reluctantly, Joanna knew she needed to get advice.

Her first thought was to ask her dad – he was, after all, her parent. Her father was stubborn, just like her, but despite everything he always knew how to back down when he was wrong. Always. It was the reason why she hardly saw him as a child, his visitation rights not being as plentiful as she had hoped. When she was younger, she hated her father for it but growing up had taught her that her dad was human, and that he and her mother had both made mistakes. Her father, however, had been too relenting in his and had let her mother walk all over him. So, as much as she loved her dad, he was not the person for the job. 

She then thought of Sehar. The two of them were sharing a bunk on the ship and bickered just like usual. As much as she appreciated the girl, Joanna never liked to go to Sehar for advice. Mainly because Sehar always knew what she was thinking, she saw straight through her and didn’t like to keep that knowledge to herself. Then Joanna, being as stubborn and hot-headed as she was would bite back, and the two of them would be stuck in an endless cycle until they got over it (which they always did).

It was only when her father stormed into the lab she was working in that she figured out who she needed to go see. Bones looked angry, and he was pacing in front of her like he was trying to wear a hole into the floor. Then he had unloaded on her about his recent argument with the Captain, about how he was ‘too darn stubborn to admit he was wrong’ and Joanna released what she needed to do.

The person she needed to see was Jim Kirk.

* * *

Joanna knew the best place to approach him was after hours, it wasn’t like she could just waltz onto the bridge and ask him then and there. She wouldn’t be allowed, and besides, he shared a shift with Chekov and there was no way he could ever find out about their conversation. She would have to do it when he was off duty, and everyone knew the best place to find the Captain when he wasn’t on the bridge was in the ship’s bar. 

She supposed it was for the best, it was bound to be an awkward conversation, there might as well be alcohol involved. She had barely talked to the Captain, and all of the time Bones had been with them (save the time she got a personal invite to her dad’s party). They certainly had never talked about anything that wasn’t a professional matter. Though, she supposed if she wanted to stay on the ship and go up in the ranks that it would do no harm to become friendly with the leader. Anyway, if he didn’t like her approaching him, he wouldn’t dare do anything out of respect for her dad. 

So, after her long shift that day down in research labs, Joanna decided to seek him out. Predictably finding him sitting at the bar, deep in conversation with a blond woman she’d never had the pleasure of meeting.

When he caught sight of her approaching him, Kirk broke out into a wide grin, evidently happy to see her (and a couple of drinks in).

“Miss McCoy- Bones Jr.!” He seemed proud of his nickname and turned to the woman next to him. “This is our new Medical Assistant by the way – Bones Jr. This is Janice Rand.”

Janice Rand, infamous for being the ship’s gossip. From the way she eyed her up, Joanna knew she had heard things about her, though what it could be she didn’t know. 

“Captain, could I have a word?” Joanna spoke quickly, hoping Kirk would dismiss his lady friend before she heard too much. 

“Sure,” he nodded. “Would you like a drink? You’re old enough, right?”

Kirk didn’t wait for an answer, already ordering her a Saurian brandy which she took readily. Joanna was becoming increasingly aware of the curious gaze of Janice on her, as well as the glances of others sitting around the lounge. She hadn’t been there long enough to have removed the ‘new girl’ reputation that followed her. 

Joanna eyes flicked to Rand, and then back to Kirk, hoping he’d get the message. “It’s personal.”

Kirk sighed, making his excuses as he got out of his seat. His arm went around her as he led her quickly out of the room. The cries from the bartender regarding not allowing alcohol out of the lounge were ignored by them both.

“You know your father is on this ship, right?” Kirk raised his eyebrow as they came to a stop in the corridor. There was no one around to hear the conversation, and if someone did decide to come close, the sight of their leader would surely scare them off.

She rolled her eyes.

“Yes. That’s why I’m talking to you.” 

Kirk smirked, his ego appreciative of his selection. “Okay, shoot.”

“How do you admit you were wrong without, you know, ad-“

“Admitting you were wrong?” Kirk jumped in, knowing her predicament all too well. “Oh, I’ve been there many times. What have you done?”

Joanna considered telling him everything, but she knew that if she provided any details, it would certainly get back to Chekov or, worse, her dad.

“I- I don’t think it’s necessary for me to say. Just know that I did something wrong, but I wasn’t the only person to do something wrong,” she tried to be as vague as possible.

“Cryptic,” he pouted, considering her words. “Okay, so there’s an easy way to this and a hard way. It all comes down to whether you like the person or not.”

“I don’t,” Joanna replied suddenly, not allowing a second to deliberate over his words. 

“Then you don’t need to do anything. I mean, you probably should, for conscience reasons and all that – but you clearly didn’t come to me for that advice. Frankly, I think if you’ve been awful to someone and they have been bad back and neither of you like each other then just leave it at that,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“And what if I liked them or even just respected them?” Joanna asked only out of curiosity, though from the delight in his eyes, he thought more into it. 

“Then, Jo, you admit you were wrong. If you want to be friends with someone – or more, oh it's someone you’re dating isn’t it? That’s why you couldn’t ask Bones!” Kirk grinned at her, earning him a punch to the arm. He feigned hurt at her attack, the grin still on his face. “I could have you court martialed for that.”

Joanna glared at him playfully. 

“If you want to keep seeing someone, or whatever you kids call it these days, then you just have to relent if you know you are wrong. It’s one thing disagreeing over work stuff, but if it's personal, and you know you did wrong, then you just have to do it kid, I’m sorry to tell you that,” he became sombre at the thought. “Sometimes that’s the price of liking someone – yielding.” 

Wow. 

Joanna was not expecting such sound words from the man in front of her. Not that she needed them though, she still doubted that there would come an opportunity for them to talk about it, Chekov would have to speak to her for one. Then there was also a fact that she was only considering doing it for her own conscience and because she believed it to be best for the workplace. 

“However, I definitely wouldn’t be the one to go to them, but I don’t think that sounds like good advice,” he frowned. “Man, I think I actually sounded wise then, am I really getting that old?”

“Ancient,” Joanna bantered back without missing a beat and received a groan from the man. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Please call me Uncle Jim, Bones would hate it,” he flaunted a mischievous look before taking his leave of her, leaving Joanna giggling as she downed her drink.

Uncle Jim – her father would hate that a lot.


	6. Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great

They were docked on Starbase 11 making a routine supply drop when everything came to a head. She knew it would, there was too much tension between them not to; he had scowled at her too much for him not to end up breaking his silence. She supposed he had every right to his feelings, however misguided they were to her.

The majority of the crew were on land, enjoying having their feet on solid ground before they were off on their latest mission – a five-month long trip taking them to experiment on far reaching planets. The base would perhaps be their last stop on an Earth colony for a number of weeks. Annoyingly, Joanna had been ordered to stay aboard the ship. She did have a MD to achieve and that certainly wasn’t going to appear without any effort. She had been given the residency aboard the Enterprise, her father being her tutor, and thus she was at the liberty of her dad’s orders… and her father never did go easy on her. So, instead of exploring the base below, Joanna was stationed on the Enterprise, keeping watch over the medical needs of the remaining crew (who so far had needed none), a pile of backlogged medical records to keep her company. 

Unfortunately for her, Chekov had been given the conn while they stayed in orbit. Though the ship was big enough for the both of them, she just knew knowing her luck they would end up running into each other in the couple of days they were left there. She supposed it was for the best though, something needed to happen between them. She just didn’t think it would happen so begrudgingly.

Joanna saw the look of resentment on his face when he walked through the door to the Sickbay. The sound of the door making her jump out of her father’s office and rush to see if someone required medical attention, only to stiffen up at the man in front of her. There stood Chekov, sweat dripping down his face, cradling his right hand to his chest. Straight away she could see the burn glowing an angry shade of red. _That must hurt. A lot._

“What have you done to yourself?” Joanna sighed, already en route to collect the burn salve that could rectify the issue in a matter of moments.

“Repairs in Engineering,” he grumbled, following her to a nearby medicine cabinet.

Salve in hand, she ushered him to sit at the closest chair – there would be no need for a bed tonight. He fell into it with a grunt, every particle of his person indicating that he clearly didn’t want to be there.

Testing the waters, Joanna peered at him, her gaze low. She tried her hardest to remember Kirk’s words to her.

“You know you don’t work there, right?” She joked. 

His only response was the twitch of his nose and the diverting of his eyes to the corner of the room. An angry Chekov she thought she could deal with, a saddened one, however? Joanna shuddered just thinking about it.

Still, she knew what needed to happen – and if he was going to ignore the matter, then she would just have to do it. Though, she certainly was not going to be the one to apologise first – she would only do so when he did.

“You have been ignoring me.” 

Her words added to the wall of tension between them, falling flat and heavy and carrying more meaning than either of them knew.

Once again, Joanna was perplexed by the goings on of his mind as she saw it at work. It was amazing, she’d give him that. Everyone always described him as ‘brilliant’, _everyone_ , and it became none the more evident why whenever she saw him think. This time, she knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“It is better than the alternative.” He finally decided upon his words, the bitterness upon his face making their sting even stronger.

Forgetting her bedside manner, Joanna reached out and grabbed his wrist from his chest a little too heavily, getting a good look at the nasty burn that was there. The burn covered the majority of his palm and continued on up his wrist to his forearm. Joanna only noticed his long fingers or the way his veins stood out against his pale skin for medical reasons (or so she told herself).

His unburnt skin was cold under her hands as she began to treat him.

“Lieutenant, I don’t think my actions have warranted the damn silent treatment,” she bit back. If he wanted to go there, she was sure as hell going to meet him blow for blow. 

“I believe they do,” his eyes snapped to meet hers, fiery and direct. “ _Ensign_.”

Pulling rank on her was not something she appreciated.

“Go on then. Let me have it, I can tell you want to,” Joanna groaned, watching him expectedly.

She didn’t know what she was trying to achieve from their encounter. She didn’t want to be friends, and she certainly didn’t want to be anything else. But the tension needed to disperse, and she could think of no other way of doing it. If that meant they continued hating each other then so be it. At least they’d be no more unspoken words.

Chekov replied in less than a second, clearly his words had been ready to come out. 

“It was cruel, what you did. If you had told me before that you were the doctor's daughter then I would have stopped –“

“Ah you see, Lieutenant. That’s the issue with men like you,” Joanna grimaced slyly.

Chekov snickered. “Men like me?”

Joanna could feel her own anger rising like a wave inside of her. She understood that he was allowed to be annoyed at her, but to be so angry at her when he was the reason for this mess? It just showed how selfish he was.

“Yes, you respect the opinion of men more than the women you pursue. How about asking these girls if they wanted to be talked to, hm? Instead, the only thing that stops you is the presence of other men. It’s ridiculous,” Joanna spoke so fast she had to take a moment to breathe. “You sleep around, break hearts, then sleep around some more. It’s disgusting.” 

If anyone had been walking in the corridor outside then they were bound to hear her words. 

“Your opinion of me is wrong,” he mumbled, refusing to meet her raised voice.

“Oh is it?” Joanna huffed back, her frustration at his lack of loud displays of anger growing by the second. She needed the fight perhaps more than he did.

“Yes,” Chekov spoke softly once again, displaying his annoyance in a much more muted way than what she was wanting. “Do you really think that I pursue people without their consent?”

Joanna was unsure how he had done it, but his words had rendered her speechless. She didn’t think that at all, not truly. True, they probably didn’t consent to their emotions being hurt, but that wasn’t what she had said. She knew full well if she had told him to stop, and properly, not with a hint of flirtation, he would have. His eyes bore into her like lasers, the fire behind them betraying the anger that was absent in his voice. He took her silence as an invitation to continue.

“The girls I sleep with, I never make them any promises. Yes, I suppose I could state my intentions more clearly, but I never once promise something I’m not willing to follow up.”

His accent got thicker as he spoke. The passion in his voice making up for any need to raise his voice. Joanna was utterly transfixed.

“And you! You’re one to talk. Here you are speaking to me about consent when you deliberately lead me on,” he finished with a scowl.

His eyes flicked off of her as he furrowed his brow, indicating that he was finished. Joanna felt instantly cooler now that she was out of his gaze. 

Neither of them noticed that Joanna’s hands had already finished treating him. Instead, they were lost in the moment, their individual fires rooting them to the spot. 

“I didn’t flirt with you, in case you can’t remember, I did kick you in the balls and told you to fuck off,” Joanna argued, her father’s wrath had not skipped a generation.

Kirk’s advice had been forgotten. His words had been uncalled for and his tone condescending. She didn’t appreciate it. Joanna was not an irrational person, she could admit there were two sides to every story but to act completely blameless was something else. How dare he think he was without sin? She had heard the stories. How he slept around and didn’t spare a moment for the girls’ feelings. How he’d make them feel special only to move on the next day. How he’d do it all over and over again. There was no way there wasn’t an ounce of truth to them.

“You did, and you know it. Don’t think I didn’t know that dress at your father’s party was for me... You play up to it, playing hard to get only to embarrass me!” Finally, as if something snapped inside of him, his volume rose a fraction, any manners or decorum abandoned.

He was right and they both knew it. She had led him on. Even when she had told him she was not interested she had said it with a hint of flirtation, her plan to embarrass him already being planned. But as right as he was, she was stubborn, and then some. Besides, he was only correct about _that_ fact.

“Someone had to teach you a lesson!” 

“Did they?” He grimaced. “What lesson did I need to learn, exactly? I don’t push myself on people like you accuse me of. I don’t enter into relationships when I don’t mean to. The girls I sleep with know exactly what I’m doing and it’s their own fault if they can’t handle it!”

It was only then did Joanna become aware of his arm in her hands, his pulse racing under her finger tips. It only added to her anger. She dropped his hand - she didn’t need to do anything further to it, it would heal in a matter of hours.

She was tired of fighting him. She was too angry at him and herself to continue. “Your hand will be fine.” She murmured bitterly, her eyes glaring at him to get out of her medbay.

The look in his eyes at her sharpness made her feel even worse. He looked dejected, the passion that was in his eyes before immediately dying. Without a word he stood up, moving away from her and out of her sight, his shoulders slumped.

It was at that moment that she realised she had gotten Pavel Chekov completely wrong. He did care – and probably too much. Worse than that, he could see her, he knew what she had done, he had seen her sins too. He was smart – _brilliant_ , even. Still, it wouldn’t excuse his sleazy behaviour, at least she still had that over him.


	7. The silence is slowly killing me

“Bones Jr.” 

The Captain acknowledged her as he moved off of the transporter pad towards the rest of the ship, giving her an endearing pat to the shoulder as he passed. The remark made Joanna smile - of all the friends she had made upon the Enterprise, the affections between the Captain and her had become her favourite. They had always had some kind of relationship, her father seemed to call her whenever he was around, but now that she was firmly aboard the ship, Kirk's role as ‘Uncle Jim’ had finally reached its potential.

Her smile was knocked off of her face, however, when she saw the sulking face of Chekov scurrying behind him, coming to a halt in front of her. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes. The two had entered a sort of stalemate since their argument. The tension had dispersed but all the hurt feelings still remained. She was too stubborn to apologise for her words and he appeared to believe himself as too correct to apologise for his. Still, she came to the room to do a job, and after giving him a quick once over to check for any serious injuries, she nodded for him to leave.

His shoulder brushed hers as he walked past, stalking out of the room without needing to be told he’d got the all clear a second time. He didn’t bother to turn back to apologise.

“Someone’s brooding,” Mr Sulu chuckled as he stepped off of the platform, nodding at the young man in front of him. “What have you done to him?”

Mr Sulu came to a halt in front of her, a welcoming smile on his face, ever the gentleman. He was the last of the away team to step off the platform and he too seemed to be just fine. Joanna was relieved. From what she had heard, their mission was a particularly nasty one and she liked Mr Sulu. Though, unlike her father’s other friends, Mr Sulu was allusive to her, with Chekov very much getting him in their metaphorical divorce. The two were as thick as thieves and it had surprised her to find out that Mr Sulu, unlike Chekov, was happily married and with a child.

“Knocked him down a couple of pegs that’s for sure,” she smiled coyly at him, unsure of how his loyalties would react to that information.

“What’s he done now?” He sighed, shaking his head at the thought of his friend.

Joanna was surprised that he didn’t already know. Surely Chekov must have told him? She would have if she was in his position. The two seemed to be always together, she must have come up in conversation, and if not… well, Joanna didn’t know whether to be pleased or offended.

“He hit on me… he now regrets that,” she attempted to be as vague as possible, watching carefully his reaction. When she saw he didn’t seem to mind her being frank, she decided to put it in plainer terms. “Well, I made him regret it. I didn’t appreciate his sleazy ways.” 

Mr Sulu laughed. “Jo, I consider you my friend, but Chekov is someone close to me – I’d be careful what you say if I were you.”

She could tell from his jovial nature that he wasn’t bothered by her words, though the warning was still there. Joanna respected that, despite his seedy tendencies, she supposed someone had to always have Chekov’s back.

“How can you be okay with the reputation he has?” She asked genuinely, with no malice.

The gentlemanly charm that radiated from him accepted her honesty with no need to jump to his friend’s aid. Joanna did not know him well enough to know that it was simply his personality or an admittance they shared the same opinion.

“He’s a good kid,” he nodded. 

She was sure he believed that. While she didn’t believe it herself, she could admit there was more to the young man than she originally thought. Still, his goodness did not make his actions acceptable. “That doesn’t excuse it.”

Mr Sulu huffed, his eyes bright.

“No, it doesn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried to talk to him myself. But I know that’s not him - He was too young at the Academy to go wild and experiment, and just when he reached that age, he met the Captain and well… this is the result,” he shrugged, gesturing helplessly. “It’s just a phase. Trust me on that one - It’s not him.” 

Joanna found herself sighing, the smirk on her face signifying that she didn’t really mean it. Once again, Mr. Sulu laughed. Honestly, that man couldn’t be less charming if he tried. In fact, she could even see where Chekov got some of his tricks from. She had thought it was all inspired by Jim Kirk, and certainly, most of it was. But there was something so Sulu about his charm, clearly the man had rubbed off on him.

“He’s brilliant and kind… the kind of kid I’ll defend ‘til kingdom come,” he raised an eyebrow, smirking.

Joanna took the hint. “Got it. No bad-mouthing Chekov in front of you.” 

“No. And if I were you, I’d also give him a second chance. He might surprise you,” he flashed her one more of his signature grins before leaving the room. Though, Joanna was not sure what he meant by that at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short but sweet chapter here. This was all written in one long document so a lot of the chapters are random lengths as I didn't plan this 5 years ago! Also, I don't think I wrote Joanna to be so unlikeable but I kinda like it?
> 
> Thank you for the Kudos and the bookmarks - I'm really surprised people are even reading this! JoPavel aren't the most popular - but if you are enjoying this, I'd totally recommend 'Bourbon and Vodka: A Chekov x Joanna McCoy Love Story' by trellyasigma on FF.Net.


	8. It was not your fault but mine and it was your heart on the line

“Go talk to him,” Sehar moaned at her one morning as they were getting ready for the day ahead. “If I have to stay up one more night listening to your sighing, I’m going to have to suffocate you with my pillow.” 

Joanna scowled at her roommate, pulling her ponytail a little too tight out of annoyance. Since the night at her dad’s party, Joanna hadn’t had a restful night’s sleep, and it was beginning to drive her crazy (and Sehar too). Chekov. She had hurt him twice now, first with her actions and then with her words. It was eating her up inside. Then she started worrying about the fact she shouldn’t be fretting over him and then she started losing even more sleep. The cycle was endless. 

“Who do I need to talk to exactly?” Joanna knew exactly who Sehar was on about but didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. 

Her roommate didn’t answer at first. Instead, she just finished up getting dressed, a look on her face that said Joanna very much knew who she was talking about.

“Fine,” Sehar smirked. “If you don’t go talk to him, then I will g–“

“No, god Sehar! Are you mad?” Joanna reacted too strongly for her own liking.

“Oh, so you do know who it is? Thought as much,” Joanna wanted to rip that smug look off of her face. God, she hated when Sehar was right. “Just go talk to him. He can talk, you know – he’s a Russian not a fucking tribble.”

Joanna shook her head amusedly. 

“I just don’t want to argue again.”

“Then,” Sehar strolled up to her and placed her hands on her shoulders, the playful look on her face made Joanna slightly apprehensive at what was to come. “Make out with him, take him back to his room, and show him how you really feel.” 

Joanna glared at her more forcefully than she ever had before. She most definitely didn’t want that.

Sehar raised her eyebrows. “What? You know you want to.” 

* * *

Joanna spotted him for the first time that day in the Mess Hall, and for once he was all alone. She threw a careless prayer out to whatever god must have been smiling down on her that day and had given her such fortune. Honestly, she hadn’t seen him in the Mess for over a week, their breaks just not aligning, so the fact that he was there on the day she actually wished to speak to him was somewhat of a miracle.

She didn’t even go get some food before she started making her way over to him, knowing that if she was going to do this, she needed to do it before she talked herself out of it. That and she didn’t want any others to surround him in the meantime, she needed him alone.

“Lieutenant Chekov, sir.”

Joanna sat down in front of him without waiting for him to respond. Automatically, he looked up from what he was eating, and his eyes met hers. It pained her to see the disappointment in them in seeing her. 

“Ensign McCoy,” he grumbled, dropping his fork to the tray with resentment.

“Oh, so you can talk to me again?” She spoke before she could think, and instantly scolded herself for her sarcastic remark.

_Just think what Uncle Jim said._

Chekov leant back into his chair, his arms folding upon his chest. Almost as if he was trying to stay as far away from her as he possibly could. “If you have come here to argue, I’m not interested.”

“No… no, I – erm, I came to have a word with you,” it grieved Joanna to say the words and start the process, but she knew for her conscience that she needed to say something. “Before your gaggle of girls show up that is.”

That comment induced a long exhale from the man in front of her. Still, he gestured for her to continue, before his eyes wandered away from hers uncomfortably.

Joanna took a deep breath.

“Look, this is hard for me, so I will not say it more than once,” she continued to watch his reaction, watching as the muscles of his jaw moved as he clenched it. “God knows I’ve been losing sleep over not doing this sooner, but you have to know, that’s a character flaw of mine. I don’t do this. Ever.”

Genuinely, she didn’t understand herself why she was doing it either. It was so out of character to her, she would never have done this before. There was just something about this man that transformed every fibre of her being into something that was illogical and foreign to her. For example, right then she had a curious feeling that she would say anything just to get those blue eyes of his to meet hers again. The change scared her.

Joanna paused for a second before continuing, trying her hardest to gather up enough courage to get her through the most difficult part. “I need to tell you that I’m sorry for what I did. It was mean of me, and cruel… And I shouldn’t have done it.”

Chekov finally turned to face her again, his eyes searching her for any ulterior motive. Joanna didn’t mind though, for she knew she would do the same. If anything, it showed her that he had listened, that he was hearing what she was saying and understood it. Oddly, the return of his gaze did not unnerve her, they actually gave her the confidence to continue.

“And you were right, about me leading you on... That is, I did lead you on and I knew what I was doing,” Joanna started to fiddle with her hands on the table, her anxiousness beginning to catch up to her now that she was near the end of what she had to say. “I’m sorry that I did that.” 

With that, the two fell silent, each staring at each other, daring the other person to talk next. If anyone in the Mess had heard or noticed their awkward conversation, neither Joanna nor Chekov had noted.

It was Chekov who moved first, drawing himself nearer to her, his arms coming back to rest on the table. Joanna knew enough about body language to know that was a good sign, like a defence being lowered. For a moment he continued to think, pondering over her words like a professor over a problem. Joanna felt so tense waiting for him to finally respond, desperate to know what he said to that. 

Overall, Joanna felt vulnerable and he knew it. 

Chekov nodded to himself slightly, then opened his lips to speak.

“You embarrassed me in front of the people I work with,” Joanna thought he looked sad as he spoke, making her feel even worse about herself. “Not only that, you put me in a position where things could have been a lot worse. What would have happened if I had said something to Dr McCoy about you?”

It would have been an absolute disaster and they both knew it. Her dad would have killed him if he had found out that way, like full on shotgun wielding crazy southern father. At the very least it would have destroyed Chekov and her dad’s relationship, and probably caused havoc amongst the rest of the crew. That would certainly give Janice Rand something to talk about. It would be awful, and that’s not to mention the embarrassment that came with it. 

“I know,” Joanna nodded. “I’m sorry.”

But Chekov was not ready to yield yet, he still had things to say to her and she didn’t blame him. He had sat through her speech, the least she could do was sit through his, however bad it made her feel. 

“How long would you have allowed it to go on for?” He asked, his hurt seeping through his words like it was air.

“Not much longer, I promise. I’m a bitch but I’m not a sadist,” Joanna attempted a joke but neither of them were willing to humour it.

“Want to know the worst part of all of this? I was starting to like you. Like actually like you, stay up at night thinking about you, like you,” Chekov’s breath caught in his throat. The weight of his words was not lost on either of them. “I know you said you weren’t interested, but you could have said that to your eyes, or your dresses, or the way you would argue back without any reason to… and I knew that you are the type of person who can stand up for themselves, and that you would just tell me to stop if you wanted me to and I would have, but you never did.” 

Joanna didn’t know what to think. He actually liked her? All this time she had thought he thought of her as just another one of his conquests. To hear she had actually started to mean something to him had made her feel even worse. She didn’t just hurt him, she stomped on his heart. She understood that his feelings had not flourished enough for it to be a full heart break, but she had had too many exes to know it could still hurt. Then there was the other matter: Her stomach had dropped at the past tense of his interest in her, something she did not expect to affect her.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she admitted, gulping at the thickening uncomfortable atmosphere at the table. 

Every word he said about her was true. Everything she had done to him had been halfhearted, even when she had kicked him she knew exactly what she was doing. Every word, every nasty sentence of hers had always missed the mark, and she had done it all on purpose knowing it would drive him mad. Joanna just hadn’t expected that it would have caused him to develop feelings for him, she didn’t think he and it in him. She could almost hear her mother’s words in her head. _Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen._

“I know that what I do is wrong. I know it. But that’s my problem that I have to deal with. And I’m not some project that you need to fix to make yourself feel better about yourself,” he continued to scold her.

While Joanna assuredly felt better that she had apologised, she was only just beginning to understand the scale of the damage she had caused him. This was not just some harmless lesson gone wrong, it was insulting and ruthless.

“I appreciate you coming over here but I’m afraid the damage is already done.” 

There was no bitterness in his voice, just the truth. It had hurt him to say it too, she could tell from his expression. Like he was trying his hardness not to feel the way he did but had failed.

Joanna’s spirits dropped at the words. She was not expecting him to accept her apology wholeheartedly, but she had expected herself to be okay at hearing he didn’t. She had come here to say what needed to be said, she hadn’t realised she yearned for forgiveness from him so strongly.

“Fair enough,” she concluded, drawing an end to the conversation as she stood up from his table.

It only just dawned on her then that he had not apologised and that, surprisingly, she did not care. She had forgiven him from it a long time ago. She knew that now. All this, it was all misdirected anger at herself. 

There was something else though that she needed to say before she left.

“Chekov?”

He watched her expectedly, his sadness still lingering on his face.

“Thank you for not telling anybody.”

She made sure it sounded like she meant it, which she most definitely did. He could have very easily gotten revenge on her by telling everyone about what she had done. She was still the new girl after all, the other crewman would eat up the information. Her father would probably be understanding too if he had confided in him, the Captain would hate her for upsetting his protégé, and the entirety of the bridge crew would look at her like the bitch she knew she was. He could have done all that, caused so much chaos for her in her new place of work and yet he had not. To Joanna, that meant more to her than any apology from him. 

With that, she gave him a weak smile before taking her leave of him, disheartened but relieved they had come to an agreement. 

“Miss McCoy!” He called after her, stopping her before she got too far.

She turned back to him, her eyes meeting his. For the first time in their conversation he didn’t look angry or uncomfortable. Instead, he looked genuinely moved by her actions, grateful even. There would be hope for them yet. Maybe they could become friends, eventually, when he felt he could forgive her. 

“Thank you… For doing that," he meant every word. 

It was then that Joanna realised that a number of crew mates were sending the two inquisitive glances, clearly enjoying the lunch entertainment they had given them. Chekov sensed it too, looking around the place helplessly. There was no way anyone had heard what they had spoke about – the room was far too loud and busy for that. But they all had eyes and brains (both biological and droid) and would have seen how tense that conversation had been for the both of them. Joanna groaned at the thought of becoming the ship’s gossip for the day. She just hoped it didn’t get back to her dad.


	9. Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones

If her father had any knowledge that there was something going on between herself and Chekov, he didn’t think to mention it. Instead, he was sending her to his quarters, after hours, to be alone with him – quite the opposite of what you would expect him to do if he had heard. That is to say, there was nothing really going on between them, not truly. So, they had argued and now they wouldn’t speak to each other? At least now she had apologised they could actually look at each other again. There was nothing more to say about it. It was not as if she was missing verbally sparing with him or anything.

No, instead she was walking towards his quarters on her father’s orders. Him and Mr Spock had been exposed to something on their recent away mission to give aid to some stranded Federation shuttle who had sent out a distress signal. Nothing too major was required as far as she was aware, just some tweaking to the ship and some questions for Mr Spock to ask that she didn’t know the ins and outs of. Yet, there was something else on that planet that the Federation didn’t know about, something that had shaken even Mr Spock. She had seen him being poked by her father before she left, his face paler than she had ever seen it before. They had to send an extra team to get them out of there – they weren’t in any danger, they just wouldn’t – _couldn’t_ – bring themselves to leave.

Her father's initial assessments determined that the planet had an undiscovered gas that affected the minds of living beings in a way they had never seen before. It was intelligent yet insentient, a natural occurrence with a personal outcome. They were far away from the realm of logical sciences from back home, truly in the unknown.

Chekov had disappeared before her father had managed to get him to the Sick Bay and, from what her father had said, he had looked just as rattled as his colleague. She didn’t blame him, he always did seem to be getting poked and prodded by medical, she supposed he was rather sick of it. Therefore, Joanna was begrudgingly being sent to get an initial report, and to chastise him into visiting medical before his shift tomorrow for a full psychoanalysis. She was rather apprehensive about it all, though she was not sure whether that was due to talking to Chekov or seeing him in a similar state to Mr Spock.

The ship’s systems had informed her which room was his, and she wasn’t surprised to find he had been given one of the fancier rooms on board. They were all similar really, Fleet regulations and all, though some were on the outer edges of the ship, reserved for those of a higher rank or importance like her father. Most, like her, had to share bunks. Though, she supposed that’s what he deserved for being ‘brilliant’ (although really it was a result of his rank and regular spot on the bridge crew).

His door was shut, locked tight, and no amount of knocking from her seemed to have stirred the person inside. Joanna was a little embarrassed about being there, knowing what people would think if they saw her banging on his door so frantically. She was moments away from asking the computer to disengage his personal lock for medical reasons when the door finally opened and she was met with his slumped frame trudging away from her and further into the darkened room.

“Look, I know you don’t want to see anyone right now – least of all me, but I just need to give you a quick once over and then I’ll be out of your hair,” she spoke quickly, nervously even. She didn’t want to be there as much as he didn’t want her there.

Anxiously, she gave the safety of the corridor one last glance before stepping to his quarters, flicking on the light as she did. His room was standard, just enough room for a bed, desk, and a couch, not as big as her fathers, and certainly not as big as the captain's, but it was private and had its own bathroom. For that she was jealous. Otherwise, there was nothing else remarkable about the room, and that meant _nothing_. No personal touches, no trinkets, no nothing. It was remarkably unpersonal for someone who spent their entire life there. It was also incredibly spotless. It was bizarre to her how someone could take such pride in the cleanliness of their room and not try to make it more homely. Still, what did she know – she wasn’t ‘brilliant’.

Chekov had taken to leaning on the back of his desk chair, his back to her, shoulders fallen. That blue crew jacket she had grown to associate with him fell around his shoulders without its usual flare. It didn’t take a genius to figure out something was amiss with him. He didn’t respond to her for starters. 

“Chekov?” Joanna moved over to him, opening up her PADD to begin to fill out the standard medical forms. 

When he didn’t answer or move in anyway, Joanna began to grow considerably concerned. Without hesitation she placed her PADD down on the desk besides him and reached out a hand to his shoulder. At her touch, his head dropped, and his shaking started. Any malice she had towards the man dispersed and the human, med student instincts inside of her took over. When his sobbing started and he slumped even further down, Joanna’s arms instantly went around him, holding him up and together all at the same time. The sobs completely jolted through his body and Joanna could feel the vibrations of each through his back. She didn’t know why she did it, but she suddenly found herself pulling closer to him, her arms completely circling him as she came to rest her head against his back. It had an effect upon the man, and within seconds of their newfound closeness, one of his hands reached up to grab onto hers.

They stayed attached to each other for god knows how long, his hand cold against hers. She didn’t understand her motives, but she took a moment to think about how he felt in her arms, the strength of his back against her, his smell. Joanna didn’t realise before how much she needed this, just to be close with someone – with him. Space, even though she was surrounded by her new friends and her father, was a lonely place.

Their contact felt honest, raw. Like two people holding onto one another just to feel alive, and it indulged every craving they had. As much as their relationship was full of conflict, it felt comforting to know that they were both human, that they both felt things, and no matter what happened, that was all they needed to cope. Chekov was a broken man, and she was broken too.

She was mean, arrogant and argumentative. She chased away anyone who got close to her, refusing to be vulnerable to anyone, even her father. Her closest friends were those who saw through her and didn't judge, and she loved them for it. He was insecure and prone to making mistakes. He pulled people close to him only to push them away in an instant. They made quite a match in the fucked up department.

After a while, she felt his crying begin to slow, and Joanna started wondering just what had happened down there. She knew it must have been terrible, but she couldn’t begin to imagine what had caused such a reaction to both of the men. Under her grip, she felt the slow expanse of his chest as he tried to regain control of his breathing and emotions. Whatever it was that had happened down there, it had completely destroyed him. 

Slowly, he began to turn in her arms, his breathing unsteady but consistent. His hands came up to her shoulders while hers remained round his waist. He looked at her desperately, his eyes searching for something though she did not know what. Joanna stared back, taking in the grief that was present all over his face. His eyes were red – they would be swollen in the morning. His cheeks were flustered and wet. It was the look in his eyes that worried her the most - that spark that was always there, the passion, the brilliance as everyone called it, was completely gone. It was troubling to see.

For a second he looked like he was going to speak, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he needed to tell her something. Instead, his eyes flickered to her lips and she noticed her heart rate increasing dramatically, pulsing in her temples. She knew what that look meant, and she didn’t have the heart, nor the wish, to stop him.

His hands moved almost agonisingly slow to cup her face, his head moving down to be mere inches from hers. Instinctively, she began to close her eyes, and within a matter of moments, she felt his breath against her lips, and then the pressure of them on hers.

It wasn’t romantic – it wasn’t meant to be. It was helpless, desperate. She didn’t get a warm, fluttery feeling, though she didn’t know what she was expecting. To be frank, she wasn’t expecting it to happen at all. She hadn’t even toyed with the possibility of having genuine feelings for the man, and the kiss, while pleasant, didn’t come with the rush of affections of kissing someone she liked. In their place was a desperation, a need to be closer to him, a need to let them both feel something – whatever it was.

He had feelings for her before, and this was just a manifestation of them, a need to feel something amidst all the pain that surrounded him. It didn't mean anything but it felt soothing nonetheless.

His hands dropped to her hips, yanking at her clothing in a hungry, vulnerable way that sent her mind into complete silence. She was all about him as he deepened the kiss, he was all she could feel. How his hands clung to her like a life raft, the feeling of his tear stained cheeks against her face, how she needed him just as much as he needed her. Despite the initial lack of warmth in the kiss, her human nature started to kick in, and so too must have his. That feeling in the pit of her stomach, the feeling of want and desire, finally made an appearance, almost as if her body had been awakened from a shock. Now, she was all about him, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

If he wanted to fuck her right there and then, she would have let him. No strings attached. Just two people feeling something, anything. Right then, she was completely his. 

Then, as startling it as it had started, it was over. 

Chekov couldn’t remove himself from her fast enough, the look of surprise on his face clear. Joanna didn’t even begin to unpack the longing she felt at the removal of him from her. He began to breath heavily, his eyes panicking. His mind was clearly racing once more, like their kiss was enough to jumpstart it into thinking again. Joanna yearned to know just what he thought of what just happened as she couldn’t decipher her own feelings. 

“Ay- I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t have done that,” he stammered, strolling past her to collapse on the couch. 

Truthfully, Joanna didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t know what to say to him in general. Psychiatry was something she did not specialise in, and her bedside manner when it came to him had proven to be only passible. She was out of her depth, plus the man had just kissed her, and it was a scarily good kiss at that. No, Joanna didn’t know what to say at all. 

“No, it's fine. You’re under a lot of stress,” her reply sounded mindless, like an automatic response her brain was programmed to say in that circumstance.

Chekov didn’t seem to mind her lack of emotion, his head falling into his hands. He was back thinking about whatever had happened on the planetoid, his mind elsewhere. With a long exhale of breath, his hands ran through his hair, coming to rest, clasped at his chin as he looked over her.

“You said you need to check me over?”

His words brought her out of her trance. Yes, she was here to do a job… for her father of all people. 

“Yes, a form… it shouldn’t take long,” she sprang into action, turning back to grab her PADD. Then, Joanna found herself beginning to babble. “It’s just psychoanalysis stuff – unless you have any physical injuries that you’re hiding from me.”

Chekov smiled slightly at her attempt at a joke. “What do I need to do?”

Joanna brought up his medical file, beginning to type his information into the boxes. She felt comfortable playing doctor and tried to cling onto that role to protect her from the way her mind was aching to debate what had just happened to her – what she had felt. Then, she found herself babbling again to try and forget.

“Nothing really, I mean – It’s just the basics, about how you’re acting and feeling, I’ve already got most of it down… though I think I shouldn’t put on there that you just kissed me. Don’t think Dr McCoy would appreciate hearing you’d made the move on his daughter,” Joanna tried to laugh, though she couldn’t bring herself to do it properly. She felt mortified that she’d even brought it up.

Chekov didn't mind, his face lighting up at the uncouth manner. Her words relaxed him more than any kiss could, like by speaking so frankly it had broken the spell surrounding him. He relaxed against the couch, pulling his crew jacket off as he made himself more comfortable. He would be okay, though she could tell he wasn’t over his ordeal – far from it. It was there, lingering behind his smile. Something terrible had happened to him, and she doubted any writing on her PADD could begin to summarise it. Still, she tried.

Chekov stayed silent as she typed quickly on the device, writing down her initial assessment of his behaviour. It was only when she pulled out her tricorder to record any anomalies in his basics that he broke the silence again. 

“I’m sorry, you know – about that day in the Sick Bay. I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that,” his words were sincere, she could tell. "I should have said that when you apologised to me." 

With that, Joanna put her devices down, deciding that there was no need to continue her assessment with more pressing issues at hand. They needed to talk – to really talk, and no amount of avoiding the subject by playing around with medical instruments would help that. 

“And I shouldn’t have said those things,” she chose her words carefully, unsure of how strong she wanted her apology to be – after all, she'd already done enough apologising.

“Da,” he sighed. “Though you were right as well, I was in a bit of a spiral – I needed to stop what I was doing… how I was treating people.”

His expression deepened, contemplating his own actions. There was a lot of regret there, like he wanted so desperately to make it all okay again but he just couldn't. It was his own fault, Joanna wasn't stupid, but she felt sorry for him, something she never thought she would do.

“Suppose we are just as bad as each other?” She proposed, hoping to call that the end of their awkward discussion and his funk. She never liked admitting she was wrong, and anyway, he’d just experienced something traumatic and they had just kissed – her mind was not in the place to get into the nitty-gritty of their argument.

“Da.”

He turned to face her as she sat down next to him on the couch, the space between them equally too small and too big. His eyes were on her, studying her intensely. She couldn’t stand the feeling, nor did she like to see the sadness that lingered there. Joanna didn’t have the heart to ask what had happened, she didn’t want to hear the answer if it had sucked so much spirit from him. But he wanted to give her it anyway, and she didn't have to ask.

"When we were down there, there was something in the air that changed us. Something made us see things, like our darkness nightmares... it was bad," his voice sounded weak as he spoke, like he was forcing himself to say the words out loud.

"I saw everything. Monsters, death..." he pressed his lips together, trying to keep a wave of emotion at bay. "The worst thing was... after all that, after all that I saw, it was the feeling of being alone that scared me the most - and I don't think it meant for me to feel that. It's like the nightmares were a relief, a break... Is that mad?"

Joanna shook her head.

Alone.

Even with his friends, and the number of girls that always surrounded him, he felt just as alone as she did. She knew better than anyone how scary that felt.

She considered his words closely, dragging out any information she could deduce about him from them, deciding that just for tonight she would help him in any way that she could. A stalemate, a deuce. They could go back to ignoring each other tomorrow. Right then, she saw a damaged human in front of her who needed help, and what med student would she be if she denied him that.

Instead of providing further questions, her eyes began to wander the room around her, hoping to God she could find something to talk to him about, to distract them both from the pit of emotions that lingered within them. She stared at the screen on the wall in front of her, the stardate, earth time, weather, and crew reports on a constant cycle. Below the screen was something she had not noticed before, and something she had not seen in years - a games console.

It must be the only personal item he had in there and was an instant reminder of his age. Being her senior officer, she often forgot that they were close in age. Nearly five years separated them, which would have been a lot if they were younger but age seemed to matter much less now she was older. As he was so high ranking, she never once thought of him as similar to her, but seeing that games console in his room spoke volumes.

She hadn't played on one in ages, she never thought to bring one to the Academy. 

“Do you have any good games?” She asked, genuinely excited to find out the answer. 

He nodded at her, his body perking up at the opportunity to forget about their problems just for a moment.

From that moment, a friendship she never expected to occur began to bloom.


	10. I know where I belong and nothing's going to happen

They fell into a routine very quickly, their prior estrangement forgotten, and it was comfortable for them both.

They hung out every few days, playing video games, watching movies, or any other way twenty-something year olds could hang out on the ship without frequenting the bar. It was always in private, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the ship, and, most crucially, away from her father. It wasn’t that her father disliked Chekov (in fact, Joanna had always heard him speak very highly of him), they were just not stupid, knowing exactly what people would think if they saw them suddenly together all the time. So, there were no shared lunches, no grabbing drinks in the bar after hours, no chatting to each other as they passed in the corridors. Everything was in secret, basking the two of them in an exhilarating atmosphere that they both seemed to enjoy. 

They were each other’s secret, their friendship was completely theirs, and there was something thrilling about that.

Yet, much to Joanna’s dismay, it was only that. She wanted something more from him, anything, and it had all started with that kiss.

He was all she could think about, all she wanted to think about, and the only person she ever wanted to see. She was obsessed with him, wanting to spend every second she could by his side, she just couldn’t get enough. She wanted to know everything about him, what made him him, to be able to read him like a book. Joanna began to devour everything little she heard, consuming each little bit of knowledge he gave her with careful regard, but that was never enough. 

He was an only child. He wasn’t close to his parents though spoke to his mother whenever he was on an Earth colony out of routine. He loved old movies, especially those with swords and knights – they had watched a few together and she was amazed to see how animated he had gotten watching the action scenes, crying out excitedly in both English and Russian at the fighting. He was a master at chess, and she could never, ever, beat him, even when he was trying to let her win. For someone whose only personal item was a games console, he was surprisingly bad at any video game they played, always seeming too interested in the narrative or games mechanics to master their techniques. He didn’t really listen to music, but when he did, he liked obscure Russian electronic bands she had never heard of but had to admit were good. Most notable of all, he loved sweets and always had some form of sugary goodness on his person at all times. She wasn’t sure where he got them from, or how he came to have so many, but she was grateful for his tricks because he always shared.

What surprised her more than their newfound tolerance to each other was just how badly she had misjudged him based off of his actions. While the two of them continued to bicker constantly (she doubted that would ever stop, she was much too stubborn and he was much too smart), she found there were a number of sides to him which were more than bearable. For one, he was very polite – and she meant, _very_ polite. He always asked how she was, if things were okay, if she wanted to do something, and he always remembered his manners. He was bashful too, like the charismatic persona she had met at the club all those months ago was just an act. She had seen hints of it before, moments when his confidence would falter, but she didn’t expect it to be so much of an act. Rather, he was deeply insecure about himself - about his appearance, his age, about his position upon the ship. Joanna suspected he experienced a form of imposter syndrome, though nothing worth flagging up on his medical records. He just wanted to be like the others so badly that he forgot being himself was all he needed.

He also had the habit of speaking in his mother tongue around her an awful lot. It didn’t surprise her to hear him speaking it, she wasn’t stupid, she knew he was Russian. But it was the rate in which it happened that shocked her. She had heard more Russian words from him in the weeks they had been talking to each other than she suspected her Dad had heard in the years he’d know him. She was beginning to pick some of it up too, at least enough to understand him sometimes, though the words were very situational, and mainly pertaining to video games – not at all useful. Still, it was nice to see Pavel being comfortable around her.

That was perhaps the biggest change at all for them – Pavel and Joanna. Gone were their last names and positions, and in their place were their given names, the familiarity that came with such a change had not been lost on either of them. Joanna was certainly beginning to feel familiar with him, of his ways and voice, the expressions he made and his peculiar way of speaking. It unnerved her how quickly it had happened. It unnerved her how comfortable she now felt around him. It unnerved her how every second she was with him, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.

Yes. Kiss him.

Joanna McCoy wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless on his couch – on his bed, even. She needed to touch him, to explore him in ways words wouldn’t allow. To see again what he looked like when he needed her, wanted her, and how he would look when that want was fulfilled… She was mad for him, and she had to admit that Pavel’s skills on getting women had worked a treat on her. 

Maybe she was just lonely or maybe it was genuine.

All she knew was she was well and truly lusting after the man, and, most frustrating at all, he seemed to want nothing to do with her. All that time he had pursued her, constantly pushing her buttons as a boy would pull a girl’s pigtails, and she had never once thought seriously about returning his affections (though, she supposed her attraction was always there). Then, they had kissed, and it was like a complete reversal had occurred. Now, she found herself trying to move things along, trying to brush her hands across him, trying to orchestrate moments where they could be tender but he was having none of it. He never flirted with her, he never gave any indication that he wanted to be anything other than friends. Whatever Joanna threw at him, he never acted on it. It was as if he had finally listened to those words she had spoken in anger, to finally leave her alone as she was not interested. Expect then he’d look at her, a warmth there that reminded her of before, his eyes hinting there might be something there, a spark, anything.

If Joanna had the courage, she would just grab him and kiss him to put a stop to all the nonsense. Yet, she didn’t, and that was exactly how she was in that mess.

It wasn't a crush, she told herself, or anything remotely romantic. It was just lust borne out of months of tension - sexual tension, and the hot and cold feelings he had thrown her way. She wanted him, that was all. In fact, anything else would have shook her to the core.

* * *

She came to a realisation about them on a day she was not excepting to be pivotal for her. It had been like every other day, boring, dull, monotonous. There were no away missions, no alien species encountered. Instead all she had got was a pile of paper work and the wrath of her father who had had yet another argument with Mr Spock over God knows what. About mid afternoon by the ship's time she got a familiar ping on her communicator and her heart started racing in an instant. There was only one person she knew who preferred sending messages to her over calling.

**Come to mine tonight around 8. Got a copy of the BEST movie - will 100% settle the debate over which country has the best cinema. PAC**

Instantly, she smiled at the message, excited at the prospect of going to see him that night, and typed out a quick reply to say she would be there.

"What you smiling at?" Her dad had scowled at her from across the room.

Evidently, he was still annoyed at his conversation with the Vulcan, but it was nothing she couldn't deal with. When he was in one of these moods, no one else could possibly be happy around him without him moaning about it. He was a grump, but he was her grump, and Jo would not have it any other way.

"Sehar sent a joke."

She put her communicator down, not willing to meet her father's eyes in case he knew she was lying to him. It wasn't like she was going to tell him the truth - hey Dad, it's Chekov asking me to go to his room but I promise its not a booty call (not that she would have an issue with that). No, Bones would certainly be even more grumpy if she told him that.

"You know, I've never liked that girl..." Her father trailed off, happy to have something else to moan about.

Joanna continued to smile to herself, getting back onto the work in front of her, her mind clearly elsewhere. Every few minutes or so, she checked the device to see if he had sent her anything else, but there was never anything there. Joanna knew she had a problem.

In the few hours she had left at work, she had made it through a grand total of three forms, way lower than her usual work rate. It wasn't as if they were particularly hard forms either, she had no excuses for it. She had a problem, and she knew it.

The whole situation was frustrating, both his lack of communication and her reaction to him. This was her job, she needed to be professional, and she certainly couldn't be not doing any of her work because her mind was elsewhere. So, Joanna decided, there had to be a change, and there was no time like the present to do that.

The rest of the day she had tried to psych herself up to do something that evening, even if it resulted in the end of anything between them. She knew it wasn’t healthy, her obsession, and she also knew it wasn’t the foundation of any form of relationship with him. They couldn’t be friends while it remained unspoken between them, they couldn’t be anything more unless she said something because it certainly wasn’t going to come from him. Joanna wasn’t sure what she wanted from him to be fair. She was certain they couldn’t have a relationship, the two of them bickered too much to be a healthy couple, and besides, they both didn’t seem to be the commitment type yet. But she couldn’t ignore what he did to her, how much she wanted to touch him. There was certainly something more than a friendship there. Maybe they just needed to sleep with each other and call it quits? Maybe once all the sexual tension was out of the way they could go back to how they were, and Joanna could start thinking about other things.

He greeted her with his usual smile at the door, speaking excitedly about the film he had managed to sweet talk a communications officer to help him get hold of a copy (Joanna was relieved to find out that person was a man), and she felt immediately comforted at his presence. Whatever plans she had could wait, she wanted to see just what had excited the man so much first. 

But she never got a chance to say anything to him about her problem.

They were midway through the film when it had started. His hand fell from his chest to his side under the blanket they shared, his cold fingers brushing against her bare knee. She glanced up at him in an instant, seeing his eyes glued to the screen, following the action. He didn’t have a clue what he had just done. Joanna sighed, trying to concentrate on the film’s subtitles, her mind fighting against her to bring her attention back to his fingers. She didn’t win.

She was consumed by the feeling of heat radiating from his fingers still close to her skin. It sent a warmth through her body that she was all too familiar with. She wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them. For those long fingers of his to make the contact she so desperately desired and then to explore some more. 

It had happened time and time again, every time he would touch her, even the briefest of touches, her head would be in a spin. She wondered if the same happened to him, when she touched him without noticing and a fire was lit in him too. Though, she knew that to be impossible – there was no way she would ever not notice that she was touching him. 

Every time it had happened to her, though, she always debated with herself about acting on it, that on the off chance he was giving her a hint he’d like to go further but didn’t know what she thought. That time, in particular, she entertained the idea, reasoning to herself that it would be perfect if she reached down and grasped his hand in hers and pull it onto her lap. It was the smallest of steps, innocent really, but it would be enough to move things along without her having to be so daring. They were two young people, single, alone, in the dark, and on something comfortable – the fact that it hadn’t happened already was amazing in itself.

Then, just as she was about to execute her plan, he moved.

He crossed his arms with a sigh in response to whatever was happening in the movie (whatever it was, Joanna didn’t know). He did lean into her though, their shoulders pushed together, as he leaned in to talk to her.

“What do you think? Should he trust her?” 

His eyes never left the screen, hers were firmly on him.

Joanna never answered his question; he never answered her unspoken ones.

She decided then and there she would hold it back, push it deep down inside of herself and never speak of it. It was silly of her to think she would have the courage to do it. Besides, it was only lust, it would pass. She just needed to ride it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very much a filler chapter, I apologise for past me and my decisions, haha!


	11. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and you're there to save me

When the crew found out Captain Kirk had been summoned to a meeting with the Federation leaders stationed at Starbase 12, there was an overwhelming amount of shore leave applications requesting the nearby “pleasure planet” of Risa for the days that Kirk was required. The planet was infamous for being the best place for shore leave, from its warm climate, beaches, and fabulous array of alcohol. As such, everyone wanted to visit the planet’s resorts, even if their visits only lasted for a day. Joanna, having never visited the planet, nor ever having shore leave, had decided to follow the crowd, determined to see what all the hype was. 

Her father was rather displeased at the trend, claiming that the amount of STI’s on Risa was almost triple that of Earth and that he was in for a treat when everyone got back on board. He would be taking his leave on the Starbase, where he could be on call if anyone needed him and had tried to encourage Joanna to do the same. She wouldn’t yield, however, claiming that all the friends on board (which covered only Sehar, Pavel, and a couple of nurses) were all taking leave there. Besides, they all knew the shore leave was flexible and dependent on Kirk’s business on 12, and if her dad needed her so badly, he could always request her to come back. Her dad gave into her protests, always being a pushover for his little girl. Though, he did give her a warning to conduct herself in a decent manner or else he would give her all the Sickbay’s paperwork for a month.

“No sex Dad, got it,” Joanna had clarified, knowing full well how uncomfortable those words would be to him.

She received a groan in response.

* * *

They arrived on the planet closed to nightfall, each wearing some of their only civilian clothes they owed. Talk had gone round the ship that everyone was planning to go to a certain nightclub in Suraya Bay, so Joanna and Sehar had donned their best dresses in preparation for a night on the town. She had decided upon a little dark green number that Sehar had bought her for her last birthday, it finished close to her mid-thigh, wrapping round her front and revealed a fair amount of cleavage. There was no doubt in her mind whose attention in particular she was trying to attract by wearing it, though she was definitely keeping her options open. She had even decided upon her raciest underwear just in case (though she was certainly not planning on _that_ happening). Joanna made certain care not to let her dad see her outfit choice, or the amount of make-up she had applied to her face. In her defence, she did own more revealing clothing, if anything her choice had been one of the more conservative ones so if her dad did catch her, it could have been a lot worse. 

Sehar and her had decided to split the cost of a room, agreeing that they both probably would not be getting much use out of it and didn’t mind sharing a bed if it meant them saving some of their allotted credits given to them by the Federation – perk of the job. After dropping off their bags filled with the small amount of vacation clothes they owned, the two joined the flock of crewmates on their way to the Bay’s hotspots, a sense of excitement in the air.

She was three cocktails in when she ran into Mr Sulu sipping a martini in the terrace of a bar, she didn’t know the name of. 

Joanna had been parting most of the night, and had escaped the heat of the dancefloor to come outside for a moment or two, finding solace in the much cooler air outside. That air, however, was infiltrated with a number of different narcotics, most of which even she couldn’t identify as a med student. The thought of going wild that night on god knows what a tempting idea was but her father’s warning had had its desired effect on her. Anyway, what would she do if they got called back to the ship early and she had to face her dad both drunk and stoned? 

The benches near the fire-pits seemed like a good place to have a moment to cool down, and it was at one of them she saw him sitting, nursing a martini on his own. It was a surprise to see him there. She presumed he would have stayed at the 12 like the rest of the senior crew, and she definitely didn’t expect to see him in a place surrounded by so much smoke. To be fair to Sulu, he didn’t appear to be indulging in any type of drugs, but whether or not he had been before, Joanna was slightly too intoxicated to notice.

“Miss McCoy,” he grinned at her, patting the seat next to him on the bench for her to sit.

She dropped down next to him with no sense of decorum, slouching against the back of the pillows, making herself at home. The man next to her chuckled.

“Jo, please,” she demanded, bemused at the whole situation. “We are off duty.”

“Hikaru, then,” he moved to catch the attention of one of the scantily clad serving girls circling the smokers on the terrace. “What’s your poison?”

She shrugged. “Whatever you’re offering.”

“You are your father’s daughter,” he muttered under his breath. Joanna gave him a playful shove.

He ordered them both martini (whether the alcohol was Federation sourced or not she didn’t even bother to consider) as Joanna got settled in, the artificial fire mixed with the breeze coming from the ay providing a comforting warmth. The Bajorian male she had been chatting up, Sehar, and the dancefloor had already been forgotten.

Joanna wrinkled her nose, coming to the realisation that she was sitting with the ship’s pilot, surrounded by a cloud of tobacco and other gases, at some random bar on an infamous “pleasure planet”. She wasn’t drunk enough that she hadn’t known what was happening before, but she’d only just noticed how bizarre the situation was. Why was he, of all the people in the crew, sitting in a dodgy section of a sleazy club on Risa? 

“I’m surprised to find you here.” 

“Why, cause all the boring oldies are staying on 12?” He pretends to be insulted, his signature grin not far behind.

“Nooooo,” she scoffed. 

“I may be a married man, but I still know how to party,” he cocked his head. “And anyway, who would make sure Chekov won’t get tricked out of a kidney or something by some Risian woman if I didn’t?”

Chekov. 

If Sulu was here, Pavel was sure to be somewhere close. Her heart quickened at the thought (or it could be the alcohol in her system). He hadn’t made an appearance so far that night, though she had heard a couple of the girls chatting about him being at one of the clubs on the strip. Joanna had tried to force down a wave of jealousy at the conversation, hating how these women were hoping to get with him like he was something to be won. She knew she had no right to feel that way, she had no claim over him, but it didn’t stop her feeling that way regardless. Embarrassed at her feelings, Joanna had made herself forget about him, chatting up any male who was somewhat attractive and enjoying her time with Sehar away from the ship. It had been working until just then. 

A serving girl walked over to them with their martinis on a platter which he readily accepted, slipping the girl the payment. She was impressed with the confidence with which he did it, she for one could make any sense of using Federation credits, having not used them most of her life.

She took the drink off of him eagerly, draining half of it in an instant hoping to wash down thoughts of Pavel along with them.

“Though, something tells me Chekov’s head won’t be turned anytime when you’re around,” Sulu smirked at her, impressed by how well she could drink.

Joanna scoffed.

“You’re wrong. Chekov doesn’t like me.”

He didn’t. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get him to look at her anymore. They were friends, just friends, despite however many times she tried to hint that she’d like something more. Not that he ever noticed. She supposed it was her punishment for being so awful to him before. She had his attention, albeit probably not his full attention, and she had blown it, nuclear style.

“You sure about that?” He threw her a knowing look. “I’ve heard all about your little get-togethers in his quarters. You know, you’re all he ever talks about.”

She sneered at the idea. He was just a hopeless romantic, if there was anything going on between them, she would be the first to know. If she was all he ever talked about – which she sincerely doubted – then it was because his life was so boring and not because he was infatuated. He couldn’t even look at her for God’s sake, there was no way he was obsessed with her! 

“Trust me, if Chekov liked me then he’s doing an awful job at showing it,” she muttered, taking another long swig of the martini like it was her life source.

Sulu laughed at her and then laughed even harder at the face she pulled at his reaction, teasing that she looked just like her dad when she frowned. 

He tried his best to stifle his laughter, moving closer to her ear to speak with her more privately – not like anyone could listen over the sounds of partying anyway.

“If I was a good friend, I wouldn’t tell you that he thinks you are not interested in him… Nothing a little sun, sand and alcohol can’t resolve.” 

Joanna opened her mouth to deliver a witty reply, only to realise she couldn’t think of anything to say. There couldn’t be any truth to it, Sulu must be delirious or something. That, or Chekov was blind… Neither of them was possible, because there was no way Chekov was even interested in her that way. 

Sulu perked up beside her, sitting up straight and guiding her to look behind her. 

“Speaking of - Russian whiz kid incoming.” 

True enough, walking towards them was the young navigator, a bright grin plastered on his face. Evidently from his blasé steps and the glass he clutched in his hand, he was a number of drinks in. He was out of uniform too, his golden shirt replaced with a standard black one, and he wore a pair of old jeans that seem to be past their prime (though his charm made up for it). Most shockingly of all, that blue crew jacket she saw on him so many times before at clubs was gone, replaced by a black denim looking one that made him look like he was straight out of the South. Clearly, he didn’t need to show off that he was a Starfleet officer to his co-workers.

“Jo! Hikaru!” 

Joanna whipped back round to see Sulu, her eyes wide in shock. She was just starting to properly relax and then the world through this at her. She wouldn’t be surprised if he had orchestrated this whole thing – on second thought, that was crazy talk, there was no way he could have done that. 

Sulu looked smug, moved his glass to click against hers and began to slide off of the bench. “Oh, I think I hear someone calling my name over there, got to go…”

Joanna glared at him. Obviously ‘Subtle’ was not Hikaru Sulu’s middle name. 

Her hands began to fiddle with the front of her dress, straightening herself out with a frustrated groan. Of course, this would happen when she least expected it. She barely had time to tidy her hair before he came crashing down next to him, the smell of his cologne somehow made its way to her despite all the fumes around them.

“You look lovely,” he rushed through his words, his accent coming out stronger than usual.

He was flirting with her.

After weeks of not caring, he was actually flirting with her again. She had been hoping to see him that night, hoping that something between them might happen or advance, but she didn’t think it would, and certainly not as readily as it had done.

Joanna realised she had been holding her breath, and she quickly forced herself to start breathing again. His whole presence there was making her nervous, and his words only added to that. She could sense he was much more relaxed around her than usual, reminding her of what it used to be like back when he was trying to hit on her all the time. She supposed it was the power of alcohol… Whatever it was though, she was happy to run with it. 

“You’re not too bad yourself,” her reply betrayed her nerves, coming out a lot less flirtatiously as she had hoped. 

Chekov laughed, his arm coming up to rest above her on the back of the bench. He wasn’t looking at her which Joanna was grateful for. She didn’t know what she would do if she not only had a flirty Pavel but one who was intent on examining her every move. Instead, his eyes were on the fire in front of them, an absent-minded look on his face.

Behind him she could see a group of girls staring over at them – at him. Only an idiot wouldn’t know what they were thinking, the scowls plastered on their faces saying everything. Joanna always expected some backlash for her newfound friendship with Pavel. He was, after all, one of the more sought-after bachelors on the ship, and one that seemed like an easy target (though how they achieved anything with him, Joanna wanted to know). He was part of the bridge crew, young but clearly going places, and he wasn’t bad looking – quite the catch by anyone’s standards. She knew there would be bitterness towards her if anyone found out about all the time she spent with him. These glares across the club were only the start.

“You’ve got some fans,” she pointed briefly to behind him, unsure how else to address the death stares.

Pavel didn’t move to look at them, not needing to see them to know they were there. They were always there, following him around like a little posse. He was used to it, his loose romances encouraging them even further, though he didn’t seem keen on them being there at this moment.

Instead, he turned to meet her watch, smiling at her like she was a happy memory.

“They can wait, I’m talking to you,” he spoke matter-of-factly like it was a universal truth that everyone must know already. “I see Sulu has ordered for you.”

He nodded at the drink in her hand, smirking at the seemingly obvious choice from the pilot.

She held her glass up in front of her, examining the contents like it was some alien substance she was investigating (it probably wasn’t far off either).

“Yeah. A good ol’ American classic made with alcohol from God knows where." 

He pulled a face, disgusted at the American label she had just put on the drink.

“Actually, it's Russian,” he announced, proud to correct her as always. _Honestly, him and Russa…_

“Nah,” she scoffed, not letting him have this one. “You know, I once dated a guy who claims his great – times a million or something – grandma invented the Martini, and she was definitely an American. Californian to be exact.” 

Paul had been a great guy and she loved getting to know him, but he liked the company of men more than he liked her. It was a shame really - he was a lovely man.

“Martini sounds Italian though,” he grimaced, mischievously teasing her like he was some naughty schoolboy bickering against authority just because he could. 

Joanna was not going to let him get away with it. His need to be correct paled in comparison to her stubbornness. Clearly, he had not come against a McCoy in battle.

“Ah! So, you admit it’s not Russian then?” She beamed smugly at him, using his words against him. 

It was proof enough that he was bullshitting and from the way he was growing flustered, he wasn’t a fan of being called out. 

“I never said that,” he retorted a little too fast to be considered smooth.

“You kinda did, though.” She continued to tease, enjoying seeing him scramble to find something else to say. 

Chekov did one better.

“Let me buy you a vodka or something, show you a proper Russian beverage that is much better than all the crap they have here.” 

Well, she wasn’t expecting that… though, it was a great way to win an argument.

“It’s not crap,” she muttered, unsure about how to react. 

“It is,” he was not going to let the sudden shift in tone destroy the mood. “There’s a bar about 500 meters down the strip that serves actual Earth spirits. Come on, I’ll get you something good.”

He’d completely derailed their conversation, moving it somewhere where no one could misinterpret the flirty nature of it. He was asking her for a drink, again. Not only that but he was asking her, of all people, to go to a different club just so he could say he was right… and he did it all with a glint in his eyes. Yeah, he was flirting with her. Going from weeks of completely innocent interaction to this was mind-blowing. 

He took the glass out of her hand and drained it himself, placing it on a nearby table with such a flourish it made her flustered. She gaped at him for a moment, astonished that he had taken the drink right out of her hands. It was a bold move, the Chekov she had met in the student bar was unmistakably making its reappearance after months of hiding. 

Joanna licked her lips, trying desperately to think of something to say that wouldn’t embarrass her.

“Oh god, am I finally going to accept that drink from you?” She settled on, raising an eyebrow in a way she knew boys liked.

It seemed to work.

“Technically, you already have accepted a drink from me,” Pavel chuckled, pushing himself off of the bench and gesturing for her to follow him.

There was no going back now.


	12. Under the boardwalk - we'll be fallin' in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh to go to a bar again...

The bar he had brought her to was a complete dive.

It was greasy, sleazy and clearly in need of a good clean. The lack of cleanliness was disguised by the low lighting in the bar, making it look more like a crime den than anything else. In fact, Joanna believed she had found the source of the infamous kidney stealing that had become a running joke within the Federation. If a rouge wanted to kidnap her at all, it was certainly the best place to do it. Despite hosting alcohol completely from Earth, there was not a single member of their crew in there. Actually, they were the only people there except a couple of Andorians in the corner. 

The drinks there, however, were amazing.

He had ordered them a number of shots, deciding that just one Russian brand was not enough to fully convey his argument. The bartender had assured him it was definitely Russian vodka, and premier brands at that, though whether or not it was the truth, she couldn’t tell. 

It had only taken her one sip of the first one to determine it was the best drink she had all night, annoyingly. She had wanted to hate it just to annoy him, so she could tease him about something else that night but she just couldn’t. The way his eyes lit up after she tried it was evidence enough that he had seen that she’d liked it.

“Okay, I’ll admit. This is pretty good,” she threw her hands up in surrender. 

They sat side by side at the bar, the Risian bartender cleaning glasses meters away from them and listening in to their conversation. He picked up his own shot glass of the same one she had sampled and drank it like a professional (which he probably was).

He swallowed strongly, a shit-eating grin on his face. “And pretty Russian too.” 

His hands fell onto the bar in front of him, fingers outstretched. It was a casual move, with no thought behind it, but the sight of his long pale fingers against the dark wood of the bar moved something within her that was shameful. His fingers reminded her of the time they were on her, grasping onto her dress like his life depended on it, cupping her face, brushing against her leg accidently. 

_Honestly_. She got some alcohol in her system and she wanted to jump his bones over his hands? Even she felt like rolling her eyes at that. 

“I can’t argue with you that Vodka isn’t Russian,” she smirked at him, her eyes conveying everything she was too hesitant to say (or do) to him. 

Pavel almost bounced out of his seat, throwing a playful chastising finger her way. “Ah! So, you admit you were just arguing with me that Martini wasn’t Russian for the sake of it?” 

“Have you already forgotten you arguing it was probably Italian?” She frowned playfully, knocking her knee into his for a brief moment. 

“As your superior officer, I am obliged to tell you that you are in fact wrong,” he leaned closer to her, pushing another shot of vodka towards her. “I never said anything of the sort.” 

He told her the brand of vodka but, to put it simply, the Russian sounded too foreign to understand.

She picked up the shot, staring him down cockily. “And as the person who is right, I’m obliged to tell you that you are a sore loser.” 

With that she downed the shot, instantly regretting it. It burned more than the first one, and it certainly didn’t taste as good as the first. She tried her best to disguise her disgust at the drink but from the bemused twinkle in his eyes, he had caught it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, what was the first country to reach space again?” Pavel pursed his lips proudly.

Her eyes rolled at that. “That old chestnut.” 

“As a member of Earth’s smartest and most successful country, I feel like I’m probably right,” he teased.

Joanna swore he winked at her – for sure, Chekov just winked at her _._

She didn’t have time to concentrate on it, however, as he was already pushing another shot of vodka her way. Without missing a beat, he gulped the next vodka, tipping his head back with the confidence of someone who had had vodka shots a number of times. The movement had made his veins pop in his next, drawing her eyes straight to them. She licked her lips unable to stop herself.

She wondered what it would be like to kiss him there… 

Joanna swallowed, trying to get her mind out of the gutter. “You’re probably an ass, that’s for sure.”

As she took the next shot, enjoying this one better than the last, his leg strayed over to press against hers, putting her daring tap of her knee earlier to shame. Her eyes were drawn to his like a magnet. His had an intensity to them that she had not seen since they had first met. They told her that he liked being with her, that he was enjoying himself, that he wanted her.

Finally. 

Though, Joanna was not quite sure what to do with that information, and his gaze only made her nervous. For weeks he didn’t talk to her, then he kissed her, then he stayed firmly in friend territory, and now he was hitting on her in a bar and buying her drinks? Joanna felt herself sobering up at the thought. Despite how much she wanted to just run with it, to follow whatever wicked whims he was thinking of, she just couldn’t do it to herself. Not until she figured out just what the fuck was going on here.

If she ran with it, inevitably going back to his room with him and indulging in a satisfying moment that she was certain she'd enjoy, then what would come of it? Would that mean the end of their friendship? Would it result in her catching even more feelings that she didn't want to have? One thing Joanna did know though, it would turn into a shit show of awkwardness between them.

No, it wasn't worth it, not yet.

She broke their eye contact to play with the shot glass still in her hands, taking in the fact that she was sitting in a dodgy bar with Pavel Chekov coming onto her, and she wasn’t doing anything about it. Joanna was tempted to ask him there and then what his deal was, to find out if what Sulu had said to her earlier that night was correct, if he just playing her at her own game? She wanted to take advantage of the liquid courage in her system, to have an honest heart to heart that only happens when copious amounts of alcohol could allow but she was too scared, terrified, to do it. It would mean having to open up, to be properly honest with him and herself and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

And that made her angry.

She had spent so long trying to send him signals that she wanted something with him, anything, and the moment had shown interest in her, properly shown her interest, and she pulled back like a scared little girl. His eyes were still on her, the warmth sending shivers down her spine. She couldn’t believe herself.

Joanna sighed, running her hands across the bar and instantly regretting it from sticky residue she felt there. She racked her brain for something to say to break the tension between them – anything that would stop their conversation to reach whatever point it was heading towards. 

“Do you know what time it is?”

Her words had done the trick, moving his gaze from her as he began searching for his communicator. 

“Not on Risa, but the Earth time is 05:15.” 

“Jesus,” she groaned.

She hadn’t meant to stay out so late. Sehar was probably worried sick about her. Joanna had stupidly left the last club without telling her where she was going. Though, knowing Sehar she would have come to her own conclusions as to where she was, and Joanna doubted she would have been far from the truth.

Next to her, she felt Chekov move off the stool, his hand falling to her back as he guided her to follow. For one of the few times ever, he actually seemed to understand one of the cues she was giving him. He smiled brightly at her, his eyes saddened at the slight she had given him but he seemed to understand.

“Come on, let’s get you back. You need all the beauty sleep you can get,” his eyes narrowed playfully, making the smile return to her face.

He knew just what to say to make her feel better, every time.

Joanna tried to focus on seeming as cool as possible. Though that was a difficult job, considering how much her blood rushed to her head from suddenly being back on her feet again. Her legs felt like gelatine and she was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her posture.

“Rude,” she pretended to glare at him.

Instantly, she regretted the heels she wore as she tried to walk out of the bar and ended up wobbling in the most embarrassingly of ways. Pavel quickly moved to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her into him and making her heart race even faster (she didn’t know that was physically possible). She let him lead her out of the bar, choosing to ignore any internal dilemma which was going on inside of her. It was just a friendly move, a necessity really, it didn’t need to be anything more if she chose not to make it.

They slowly made their way back to the hotel - the thought that Pavel Chekov was leading her back to the hotel did not go amiss for her. They stayed in silence most of the way, Joanna staring down at her feet as if she would stop moving in a straight line if she looked away. Pavel didn’t seem to be having the same issue, however. While she could tell he was feeling the effects of the alcohol (he seemed much more relaxed around her than usual), he certainly could still walk in a straight line. 

“How are you walking so straight?” She asked looking up at him, the movement of her head making her feel much drunker than she realised was.

She didn't noticed that they had been walking so close to the Bay, the sea's waves cascading behind him and drowning them both in the soothing monotonous murmur of water against the coast. Pavel, ever the romantic, had chosen the scenic route back to the hotel without her realising. When it dawned on her what he had done, Joanna smiled. He was rather sweet when he tried to be.

“We Russian’s have strong stomachs,” he eyed her sideways, his eyes telling her everything he wasn’t.

“I’m not drunk,” she rolled her eyes, giving him a playful shove, though he didn’t go far considering his arm was wrapped tightly around her.

He scoffed. “No, of course you’re not.”

Behind him she saw the peaceful motion of the ocean hitting the bay, her yearning to go feel the sea against her feet was there in an instant. She had never seen a beach as pretty as the one at the Bay and she couldn't help but need to be closer to it. It made her think of her family, of her home she had left back on Earth to come live in the stars with her dad. She had given up a lot to be an explorer, and the jury was still out on whether the decision was the right one. Those she had left behind she talked to as regularly as she could, but that communication never filled the gap of missing them. Her mother would love have loved it there, pity she would have scowled at her for even suggesting travelling back there together – not that she would ever go on vacation with her mother, she wasn't crazy.

“God,” she sighed, forcing him to come to a stop. “We never had beaches like this back home.”

“Well actually –“

She cut him off before he could say anything further, knowing automatically what he was going to say. “Nope. Not going to believe that Russia has beaches nice as this.”

In fact, she wasn't sure Russia had sandy beaches at all. Joanna beamed at him, proud at thwarting his plans. Pavel just shook his head. 

“I was going to say it reminds me of Hawaii,” he smirked, glad to prove her wrong.

“Oh,” she was too drunk to think of something witty to respond with. “I’ve never been. Georgia beaches were good enough for me growing up.” 

It was beautiful, too beautiful to just be admired from afar. It felt like it was calling to her (though that was probably the alcohol). Joanna pulled herself away from him slightly, holding onto his shoulder to steady herself as she moved to take off her heels. Her eyebrows raised, she grinned at him cheekily, watching as he stared blankly back at her, evidently not sure what to expect. 

Holding her heels in her hands, she hoped over the wall to the beach as well as she could with restrictive movement from the dress and the alcohol in her system. It was a bit of a rocky landing, but she pulled it off, beaming over her shoulder at him as he chuckled at her, his smile meeting his eyes. He shook his head with a sigh, before reluctantly hoping over the wall to join her, albeit much smoother than she had done. 

Joanna turned back to the ocean and started making her way to it with haste.

“My mom used to take us all to the coast every summer, the cousins, the parents, even Pops. They weren’t as nice as this, but they were fun,” she called back to him, her eyes transfixed on the water.

She missed her Pops. Her maternal grandfather was long gone, having passed away before she had joined the Academy. He would have liked to see this alien sea that looked so much like home, but he would have hated the company. Pavel Chekov stood for everything her Pops hated – liberal, genius, too smart for his own good, a foreigner, and certainly didn’t know his way around a shot gun (at least she hoped he didn’t). Having never lost her rebellious streak, that only made Pavel’s company even more welcome to her. 

“I never went on a family trip. The first overseas flight I took was from Moscow to San Francisco when my ma dropped me off at the Academy,” he spoke from behind her, the sound of crashing waves unable to mask the sadness in his voice.

She spun around to meet him in an instant. He was diligently following her still, his hands in his pockets and a small smile on his face that spoke volumes. It reminded her of that time in his room when he basically confessed to her he was lonely, when he had grabbed her and kissed her. 

That thought was quickly shooed from her head.

Joanna didn’t really know what to say to that, so she replied with the general niceties that she knew would be expected of her. “Oh. That’s sad. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he gleamed, coming to a halt in front of her and looking at her like he was going to kiss her again.

His eyes flickered to her lips and Joanna's breath hitched.

She supposed it was a romantic place to kiss her, she’d give him that, but as much as she wanted to close the gap between them, she knew she shouldn’t do it to herself, not like this anyway. They couldn't be reduced to a one night stand, she would just not allow it.

In a panic, she quickly spun on her heels before he could do anything and increased her pace towards the beach, unsure of what else to do. How she would love to be in that water right now. Despite the planet being in darkness, there was a heat in the air that would make a dip in the water even more tempting. It would be a nice a place to escape the awkwardness that was slowly encroaching on their conversation, to literally wash away her problems. 

She needed to get in the water. 

“Jo – we really should get you back.” 

She heard his voice behind him but she didn’t listen, her drunken mind could only focus on one thing at once. 

“Joanna!” 

The tone of voice was getting increasingly more troubled, but it wasn’t like she was doing anything terrible? Joanna believed he just needed to calm down, it was only a bit of liquid.

The water was meters in front of her, close enough that she could almost touch it, before she felt his strong hands around her waist, pulling her backwards and away from the water. 

Her own brain betrayed her strong-will. Despite being determined for nothing to happen, she wanted nothing more than him to pull her flush against him, allowing her to feel the length of his body with hers.

“You are not going for a swim in that bay when you’ve had a drink - have you seen the size of those rocks over there!” He scolded her playfully, his eyes conveying it had panicked him a little more than she had expected.

Joanna pouted. 

“Dr McCoy would kill me or worse, put me forward for human experimentation or something,” he reasoned with her, letting going of her. 

Joanna didn’t have time to notice what the removal of his hands had done for her body. The second he had let go of her she had turned back to the sea, determined to get there before he noticed her leaving. She didn’t make it far, however.

She screamed as he lifted her up from behind her, pulling her over his shoulder, the shock of it making her laugh harder than she had done in a long while. She pretended to protest the manhandling, slapping his back with her free hand as she continued to giggle, asking him to put her down.

His hand moved up to pull her dress down over her legs to protect her modesty, she didn’t realise it had raised so high. The movement made her heart swell.

“You’re an annoying drunk, you know that?” He badgered her, moving back up the bay at a much slower pace than when they walked down there.

The tiredness that had been held at bay due to the drinks was starting to have its effect on her now that she was off her feet. Joanna let out a deep breath and relaxed, her body fell like a rag-doll around him, her hands still gripping her heels tightly. She allowed herself to be carried back to her room, content in not having to walk any further.

Plus, it was fun to feel him see him struggle with her weight, listening at the string of expletives, both Russian and English, as he stumbled along the path. He was doing quite well considering their weights were probably quite similar - Joanna had shamelessly noted the strength she felt in his shoulders that her body was pressing into. Every so often, his fingers would trail up her leg to pull down her dress, making her laugh even more at his sweetness and her situation.

The giggles kept on coming, tumbling from her plentifully, all prior discomfort from being close to him long forgotten. If felt lovely to just spend time with him where she didn't have to constantly challenge what he was saying or doing, where she didn't have to question everything - it was refreshing. There was no womanisers or bitches here, just two people enjoying each others company with no ulterior motives. Truthfully, if he kept it up, Joanna could see herself falling for him - hook, line and sinker.

 _Fuck_. She was way too drunk to be dealing with that.


	13. But you're in my head, you're in my blood and it feels so good, it hurts so much

Her first away mission with the Enterprise did not go exactly as she had planned. Far from it actually.

They were sent unexpectedly to a nearby binary star from 12, for there were three separate emergency signals emitting from one of the planets there – Federation to be exact, with no Federation ships being reported there recently. Their presence there was a complete mystery, and the prospect of medical aid being needed had called her and Nurse Nicholas, along with her father, into action. As there were no initial threats detected from their scans (actually, there was no signs of life at all), the three were joined just by the captain, Mr Spock and Pavel, the last of whom Joanna tried her very best not to show delight at seeing. In fact, Joanna found the whole situation terribly exciting, even down to the trousers and jacket she got to wear as part of the away team uniform – the same jacket Pavel seemed to show off when he wanted attention.

As they materialised down on the surface, it was as if everything was quiet. Too quiet, and slightly too warm for comfort.

Instinctively, Joanna reached for her assigned phaser as she scanned the horizon, holding the weapon by her side in case she needed to use it. They appeared to be in a sort of wasteland, and a nuclear one at that from the way one of their tricorders was beeping. Radiation, not enough to cause them harm unless they stayed for long but worrying none the same. Joanna threw a glance to her father next to her, his brow was furrowed in concern. At least it wasn’t just her that was worried.

“Chekov? Give me some good news!” The captain called from behind her, looking to the navigator desperately. 

Pavel was looking down at his own tricorder, flummoxed at his readings. As the ship’s navigator, he was the best man for the job at locating the three distress signals and, from what Joanna had seen of his brilliance, there was no way he wouldn’t be able to figure it out. However, the look on his face was saying the complete opposite.

Pavel shook his head. “I can’t get a reading of any of the signals, Captain. It’s as if they are… gone?”

The captain nodded in frustration, like he expected as much. Then, he turned to his first officer for confirmation of the situation.

Spock too, shared a similar concern. “No anomalies to report. Lieutenant Chekov is correct, it’s as if nothing is here.”

By then, everyone in the group was shifting uncomfortably. It was evident that something was amiss, and most worrying of all, nothing seemed to be happening. If something was out there, it was hiding. Though, Joanna had a sneaking suspicion that they were the only things living on that planet.

Kirk through his hands up, exasperated. “But we all heard the transmissions! They can’t just be gone unless…”

“Goddamn it’s a trap, isn’t it?” Her father grumbled next to her. If they were in better conditions, she was sure to have laughed at his grumpiness. 

Joanna heard everyone shift to grab their phasers, followed by the familiar buzz of them being engaged.

Spock, however, thought differently. “On the contrary, we are in open ground… if it was a trap, they’ve chosen an illogical place to do it.”

Spock’s words were somewhat comforting, but Joanna doubted it eased any of their reservations. They might not be in some immediate danger, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to be in danger later. Something could happen to them, or worse, the Enterprise. Nervously, Joanna glanced at the outline of the ship above them. Everything seemed fine up there, for now anyway.

The captain had been speaking to the ship orbiting above them on his communicator, closing it with a satisfying clasp before he turned back to the group. “Enterprise is fine, they can hear nothing too but Uhura says they can see Federation ships on the surface.” 

“So, something just turned all the signals off?” Her father groaned.

“Something like that…” Kirk agreed solemnly, before springing into action.

“Nurse Nicholas, come with me,” Joanna rolled her eyes – of course the captain was going to go with the beautiful nurse. “Bones and Spock, check out where we thought the north signal was. Chekov, Bones Jr. to the East. Everyone stay on comms. Report back here within the hour.”

“Captain, I don’t think splitting up is the correct decision,” Spock immediately interjected.

Joanna, however, didn’t follow his concerns. Instead, she threw a cautionary glance to Pavel, observing his reaction at the two of them being paired off together. His eyes met hers, and he smiled nervously. Though whether that was due to the two of them going together or their situation, she didn’t know.

“What’s the worst that can happen? You said yourself that there was nothing here.” Kirk replied with a smile, his sense of adventure appearing to have kicked in. He then turned to where the navigator was standing. “Mr Chekov, you’ll look after our dear Joanna here, won’t you?” 

Pavel swallowed nervously. “Aye captain.” 

“Don’t you dare get my daughter lost, Chekov.” 

She heard her father warn the man, though Joanna was too busy watching the captain mischievously wink at her. Evidently, the captain was much more perceptive than he let on. Joanna couldn’t help but grin at his matchmaking.

* * *

Pavel held his phaser tight in his hand as they walked over to where one of the transmissions was supposed to originate. The two had fallen into small talk, their matching apprehension at walking through a wasteland preventing them from more interesting conversation. Still, it was nice to spend time with him outside of his bedroom.

The atmosphere on the planet was breathable, but the distinct taste of radiation in her mouth made her breathing seem forced. They had not seen a living thing, no animals, creatures, plants or anything. All that surrounded them was dust, rocks, and scraps of metal that seemed to have no purpose or any explanation as to why they were there. It was almost as if it was an old scrap metal yard that was long forgotten, but that didn’t explain the signals.

There was an air of something between them though, and it certainly wasn't as a result of the planet's atmosphere. They hadn't spoken properly since that night on Risa, their last communication being the awkward goodbye when he dropped her off (quite literally) at her room. There had been no time, they had been called back to the ship the following day, and sent over in the direction of the binary system, and there was no time for general chit chat let alone important discussions. Instead, that much needed conversation hung between them every step of the way, weaving into their conversation and making everything terribly uncomfortable.

They had only been going for twenty minutes or so when they finally spotted the ship in front of them. It was only a shuttle, a very old model at that, and certainly in no condition to move anytime soon. Its nose was so crumpled it took up only a quarter of the space, Joanna was sceptical that there could have been any survivors to issue a distress signal. From the way Pavel moved his phaser up, he must have thought the same.

They reached the ship in record time and she called out to anyone that might be inside. But no reply came. The door to the shuttle was locked, and the emergency systems appeared to be offline. There was no way that door was moving anytime soon.

“I can do that,” Pavel moved her out of the way, his hands lingering on her shoulders. “This is an old model – which ships still use things so old?”

Joanna called out to inside the ship one last time, and again there was no answer. There was no way there was anyone living in there... but then who set off the signal?

Dejected, she sighed, turning to watch Pavel at work with her hands on her hips, trying to keep her mind away from worry. He had removed a panel besides the bottom of the door, crouching down and fiddling with some hand tools at the wiring inside. How he knew what to do, she hadn’t a clue. There were options to take engineering classes at the Academy, and she certainly had been taught the basics but the moment they were allowed to specialise, she had dropped anything that wasn’t medical or anthropology related. He bit his lip as he worked, his hands knowing exactly what to do as he worked the problem diligently. Joanna knew she was staring but she didn’t care. 

The doors opened moments later with a hiss, and Pavel made a noise of surprise at the sudden movement. Placing the tool in his pocket, he wielded his phaser and gestured to her. She followed right behind, phaser set to stun.

The first thing that she noticed was the staleness inside the ship, and then the sheer amount of dust that covered the surfaces. The internal corridor was completely empty and the restroom next to it was too. On the left was a door leading to the cabin, it was jammed half open, but there was enough room for them to step in. Pavel called out for anyone to identify themselves but again, there was no response. He set his jaw, moving forward to take a look inside. 

Before he could, Joanna caught his arm. 

“Pav – I’m not sure about this,” she mumbled.

He looked back at her but gave no reply. His face said enough. He turned back to the door and stepped through into the shadows.

Joanna’s heart raced as she stood there, waiting to hear if there were any struggles or screams. Nothing. She couldn’t see inside either, the damage to the nose must have covered over the windows, and with no power to the vessel, there were no lights. The room was in complete darkness, he could be dead, and she wouldn’t know unless she went in there herself... God knows what would happen to her if that had happened. 

Before her thoughts could get too morbid, Pavel reappeared at the door, seemingly without any injuries. His face was serious as he beckoned her to come in. Without hesitation, she followed, her curiosity and trust in Pavel outweighing any apprehension she had about the room. Inside it appeared as a standard Federation shuttle, though she struggled to see without the light of the windows. Joanna could, however, see the piles of human bones that sat on each of the stations. There was no way their owners had been sending off the transmission, not for many years at least.

“This must have been here for years…” She trailed off, noticing how their clothes had completely disintegrated along with their flesh. “The radiation will have accelerated the rate of decay, but not faster than it took for us to get here.” 

Pavel nodded in response. He gestured for her to come over to the front console, more or less still intact from the damage done to the front of the vehicle.

“The power has been off for a while too – see, look at the date.” 

He pointed at the corner of the console where there was a clock and calendar reading the earth years. The fact that they had a physical date recorder, not a digital one, that tracked earth years and not the star date said enough.

_04.04.2172_

It must have cut out when the computers lost power. 

“But we heard the transmission?” He muttered to himself, his question seeming more like a statement. 

Despite the bizarre nature of the vehicle, Joanna no longer felt the apprehension that had seized her body before. They were in no immediate danger, no one had been here for years. In its place was a sudden wave of inquisitiveness, and her mind began to theorize about just what had happened here. Pavel, from his look of concentration, appeared to be doing the same.

“Something else is going on here… you saw all that crap outside, it’s like a space junkyard or something…” Joanna trailed off, not very confident in her hypothesis.

“No,” he quickly dismissed the idea. “There was no logic to that outside. And that wouldn’t explain the transmission or how this ship got so far out in the 22nd century. I think it’s a wormhole of sorts.”

Wormholes. She couldn’t even begin to explain them. Theoretical Physics was one class she certainly didn’t want to take at the Academy.

“Well, whatever it is, let’s get out of here...” Joanna moved to leave the ship, anxious that they had already spent too much time there and had to walk back. “Rejoin the others.”

He didn’t protest at all, following her in an instant before the two came to a halt by the door of the ship. Out in the distance was a purple glowing just above the horizon. It was moving towards them – and fast.

She didn’t need to ask his second opinion. Ion storm - she should have expected it from the radiation in the air.

Joanna flicked open her communication device. 

“Captain? Enterprise?” She didn’t even get any indication it had a signal. 

“Mine’s down too,” Chekov confirmed. “The storm will have taken them all out, they won’t be able to beam us out of here without it passing.” 

“Come on, we should stay inside – wait it out,” Joanna set the door to close, thankful that he had overridden the system earlier. She turned to walk back into the cabin and stopped dead in her tracks, remembering her surroundings. “Though, I think we should stay in the corridor instead of joining the no-body party in there.” 

That earned a chuckle from the Russian, though he still moved to go into the room regardless.

“You stay here and keep on the comms. We won’t be able to hear from the Enterprise but maybe it will let us connect to the others. I’ll try and get some power to this thing.” 

“Yes, Lieutenant,” Joanna smirked, enjoying that he had turned into superior officer mode. “What’s the plan then, genius? Trying to fly us off of this thing?” 

He called out through the darkness. “No, but perhaps we can stay warm if we are still here when the suns go down.”

Joanna huffed, trying not to think about what could happen if the storm went on for that long. She drew her attention to her communicator, though it was no use. She couldn’t get a signal no matter where she tried. There was no point trying to send a message, it wouldn’t be going anywhere.

Outside of the window in the door, the purplish glow from the storm grew closer. She gulped.

“We might be here a while…Comms are well and truly down.” 

Joanna re-joined him in the room with all the bodies, feeling more secure closer to him even if that meant stomaching the room's skeletons. He was at a panel on the floor this time, laying on his side, one hand in the hole, the other holding up a light. Without faltering, Joanna took the light from him, and shone it into the hole, marvelling at the old fashion way the wires were laid. Despite not being an expert, even she could tell the circuits there were fried, though Pavel seemed to think some of them were salvageable. 

“Thanks,” he murmured absentmindedly, his attention fixed on the circuits below him. 

He was at it a long while before anything happened, speaking out of frustration in Russian to himself when he couldn’t quite figure something out. There was nothing else for Joanna to do but stare at him – heck, it wasn’t like she could help him out at all, it all looked broken to her. There was something attractive about seeing him laying down in the dark, his mind at work doing something brilliant. He had opened his jacket to reach into his inside pockets, giving her a good look at the skin-tight shirt underneath. She had to admit, it was nice to see him in something that wasn’t an operations uniform – it certainly did give her a good outline of his figure.

Part of her was hoping that he wouldn’t get anything fixed, and they’d have to get warm the old-fashioned way...

 _God, what had gotten into her._

Just as she was imagining a scenario where they’d have to stay there overnight, the emergency lights of the cabin flickered back on, giving her a better view of both the man and the other bodies next to them. 

“There,” he grinned up at her proudly.

The heat of the emergency systems was felt by her almost immediately. The storm outside had not yet hit them properly yet, but it had certainly made a difference in the temperature. Hopefully, as the storm grew closer to them, the shuttle would be able to maintain its heat.

Not wishing to be near to the skeletons longer than she needed to, Joanna returned to the corridor with no bodies in it and collapsed against the wall by the door, watching as the sky turned darker each moment. After a little while of poking around in the cabin, she felt Pavel come down next to her, his head falling against the wall and his eyes closed.

His mood had taken a complete dive since she had last seen him, the negativity radiating off of him rivalled the ion storm outside. It had only been a few weeks since their reconciliation, but she had grown to know him well enough to know he was feeling anxious about something. He stretched out his legs restlessly, his feet reaching the opposite wall and his hands came to his lap, pulling at a loose thread he had at the bottom of his well-worn jacket.

“You could have bought some cards or something?” Joanna attempted a joke, hoping to ease his discomfort. 

“Ahh! I knew I forgot something,” he tried to feign a jovial tone, but he failed to mask his nerves. “How dare I go on an away mission and forget cards.”

Joanna’s foot nudged his playfully, only for him to respond by moving his further away.

 _Ah_.

So that was what was up, it was her and the thought of being alone together - not like they had done that a thousand times before.

Joanna felt offended, no matter what she did, she just didn’t understand him one bit. Before, every time he saw her, he flirted, even when she had told him not to, he had flirted with her. He’d let her come to his room whenever she wanted to. He told her things she was certain he didn’t tell every girl he met. He had kissed her - yet the moment she showed him any signs of replicating his feelings for her, he shied away. Maybe that was it, that he only like her when she was playing hard to get? 

Sighing in frustration, Joanna tried once more to break the ice.

“It’s getting cold. Can’t you turn the heat up or something?” She teased, bumping his shoulder with hers.

“If I know how to do that without any proper tools, I would have already done it,” Pavel groaned, his tone sharp. “The systems are completely stripped.”

His eyes flicked open and found hers, narrowing at the connection. He was scared. Not angry, or uncomfortable – scared. Of her? Possibly, though what could he be scared of her for? No, it’ll be because of the whole ion storm situation, it had to be.

“Alright boy genius,” she cautioned, not wanting to get into an argument if he was going to be like that. Instead, she tried to lighten the mood yet again. “You’ll just have to stay close.” 

He let out a sad chuckle at that, shaking his head at the thought.

Joanna didn’t know why she did it then, or what exactly had spurred it on, but she did it, finally. She got the thought into her head to do it, to test how he would react since he was in this mood, and she just did it.

Her hand had reached out to the hand closest to her on his lap, pulling it onto hers and interlacing her fingers with his. He shot her a suspicious glance but didn’t protest. Instead, his fingers wrapped around hers instinctively, almost as if he his body and mind were in a disagreement of what to do.

She had thought about his hands an awful lot as of late. Of his long fingers, his pale skin, and how they moved with such conviction. Joanna had wondered what they would feel interwoven with hers for so long that holding one then seemed like a dream. His skin was warm, warmer than all the other times they had touched. She ran her thumb across his, and heard him breathe deeply in response. He squeezed her hand, revelling in the feeling. It felt right, natural. 

It was a rather innocent move all things considered. Minutes earlier she had been thinking about doing other things to him, with him - sinful things that her father would have a heart attack over hearing. Yet the simple act of holding his hand made her heart flutter like a giddy teenager. It was made even better by the fact he hadn't pulled away from her, especially with how odd he was suddenly acting around her.

“Joanna.” 

His voice was weak. She raised her head to meet his eyes, to look into them properly. He was still anxious of something. It was there in his eyes clear as day, and in his increased breathing.

“Hm?”

She brought her other hand to settle on his. Hoping to give him some reassurance. He swallowed nervously.

“What are you doing?” 

His words instantly made her heart sink down into her stomach. There was no malice in his voice, no anger or pointedness, yet there was something about it that made her want to curl into a ball and cry.

“What – what do you mean?” She tried her hardest to sound confident in her words but her efforts were in vain. 

Her grip on his hand began to soften, and she was debating removing herself from him completely. Next to her she could tell he was stiff as a board, tense at the touch, yet he didn’t move himself away from her making the whole situation utterly confusing. 

He took a deep breath as he looked away from her, evidently needing some other distraction to get out his next words. He was well and truly riddled with anxiety now, and it definitely wasn’t because of the storm outside. No, it was all about her, she could tell. 

“Please don’t take offence to this... are you leading me on again? It’s just I don’t… I don’t know you very well, you’re hard to read. One minute you’re touching me, the next pulling away… I just – _gavno_.”

So that was his issue.

It wasn’t her he was nervous about – apparently her feelings hadn't been as obvious as she thought they had been. She supposed it made sense after all, the last time they had spoken frankly about their feelings she had told him she wasn’t interested at all. In fact, the entire time they knew each other she had pushed backed at him. No wonder he thought she wasn’t interested in him. All those times he’d invited her to his room, he never did that to put the move on her. No, he did that because he wanted to spend time with her. He didn’t think anything was going to happen between them. When he had made a move on Risa, she had stopped him before it had come into fruition, all because she was scared and confused and wanted to do things properly and not while drunk.

She'd been utterly stupid - so had he.

“Says you Mr. You-kiss-me-then-never-look-at-me-again-but-will-chat-me-up-at-a-bar,” she attempted to joke it off, but they both knew they were only at the very top of a barrel load of feelings that needed to be addressed.

Pavel’s head snapped to meet her gaze, his eyes questioning every minute detail about her words and her actions. She could feel his body beginning to relax next to her, as if some of the tension in his body had begun to disperse.

“Are you saying that all the time we’ve been in the exact same situation and neither of us knew?” His brow furrowed, a smile threatening to move on his lips. 

“Perhaps,” Joanna beamed at him in relief. Here she was thinking he was going to argue with her again, instead this was the best result she could have hoped for. “Though, I gotta say, I was making it so darn obvious.”

He nodded, taking in her words carefully. Then, once he had digested just what she had said, he started laughing, properly laughing. She squeezed his hand, giggling herself at his reaction. All that worry that had clouded him before was gone. It was relieving to see – to think that all this time he was scared she was playing games with him yet all that time she had had genuine feelings and vice versa. 

“Sorry I missed it,” he managed to compose himself, his head falling back against the wall once more, a smile lingering at his lips. “Things will be different between us now, da?”

Just like that, something shifted between them, the result of which she suspected they would find out sooner rather than later.

“You’re not too bad. You can still be a swine on the odd occasion…” she joked, her eyes bright. She saw him smile once more at her, and she decided that then was a good time to start coming clean. “Look, I don’t know what I feel about you, what I want from you – I don’t. I wish I could tell you something different but it’s the truth. I just know that I like being around you… I liked kissing you.”

His eyes were on her again, properly on her this time, staring into her every being. His hand moved against hers, exploring how it felt in his.

There was something about the situation, being there with him, that just felt right. Then it was her time to feel apprehensive. She never expected this to happen, to actually end up falling for him, or whatever it might be. Maybe she just wanted to have sex with him, maybe she was just lonely, or maybe she actually liked him. Whatever it was, whatever it was she was feeling, it was a scary thought to be so consumed by someone. Especially when that someone looked at her like she meant the whole universe to him. 

“I never said thank you for that night after the last away mission,” he whispered, her previous words evidently brought that night into focus for him. “You don’t know how much you helped by being there.”

She noticed how fast her heart had started racing at the thought of what was to come.

“You didn’t have to,” she whispered back, watching as the corners of his mouth turned up at the words.

Then, his eyes flickered to her lips. 

They had been here before. But not as many times as she’d like. 

“Jo?”

Her name sounded perfect from his lips.

“Yeah?”

She was waiting, waiting for him to finally close that gap after weeks of yearning for it. Her gaze was switching between his eyes and his mouth, wondering why it was taking him so long to do something – anything.

“Would you be okay if I kissed you?”

She didn’t let him wait for a reply. Instead, she moved her head up to meet his, their lips brushing over each other lightly as her eyes closed. She leaned into him more, allowing their lips to meet more satisfyingly, his hand gripping hers tightly, never wanting to let go. Her stomach was doing circles inside of her, her body hot from his heat.

He pulled away slightly after a matter of seconds, allowing for their breaths to mingle together as their eyes met, taking in the others' reaction. She smiled. Then pulled him back to her for more.

This kiss was better, warmer, and it was _more_. Longer, deeper, full of meaning. Like they were the only two people left in the world, and for all she knew, they were. She tried to tell him in that kiss all the things that she omitted before. That she knew she liked him, properly liked him, but just couldn’t admit it to herself yet. That she was crazy about him, he was all she ever thought about.

His free hand came up to cradle her head, his fingers getting lost in her ponytail, telling her he needed her just as much as she needed him. And she most certainly did need him, she needed every inch of his body, she wanted him against her, she wanted to be close. Her hands fell from his and found their way to the front of his jacket, pulling him against her as well as she could manage in their position. Pavel singled he wished to deepen the kiss, the amount of practise he had received becoming more evident every second that went by and she revelled in it.

A hand came to her hip, urging her to move closer to him, onto his lap so they could explore each other more satisfyingly.

It was at that precise moment that the door next to her began to open, the two breaking apart, startled at what had just happened - both the kiss and the door.

"Oh sweet lord." 

Their eyes were met by the displeased look of her father as he clambered onto the ship, the wind howling in the background. It looked as if he had walked through a hurricane, and he probably had. Pavel released his hands from her in an instant, moving away from her like his life depended on it. Knowing her father, his life may well have.

“I’ll pretend like I didn’t see that,” he grumbled, looking crankier than he ever had before.

“See what, Doctor?”

Spock appeared behind him, equally as dishevelled as her father. 

“Keep your pointy ears out of my business, Spock,” he glared at the Vulcan.

Clearly they weren't enjoying their time together as much as her and Pavel had been. 

The two of them had come to the same conclusion as Pavel had, that it was some kind of wormhole that brought them there. They had found their own ship in a similar state, though theirs was from even earlier and in no place to hold up during an ion storm. So, here they were, before the storm got bad.

Her and Pavel, and her father, and Spock. In a small shuttle together with a number of dead bodies, for God knows how long.

And Pavel had just kissed her, and it had been veering way past innocent at warp speed. He had kissed her like that in front of her father - the same father who looked like a moody child who had been told off.

The awkwardness in the ship was palpable, and Joanna wished for the ion storm to ruin the shuttle just so she was removed from the situation. Her father wouldn’t stop glaring, Spock got increasingly irritating by the second, and Pavel wouldn’t return any of her stolen glances she desperately threw his way. They were going to drive her mad if the storm lasted much longer.

* * *

After their rescue, hours later and a considerable amount of sanity lost, Joanna decided she didn’t like away missions any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a hint of a larger plot emerging after thousands of words of preamble?? I think it might be.


	14. Will you think like me? Will you have your mother's fire?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters progressively get longer from here on in so get ready for that. This was all written as one long document so I really didn't consider things like chapter length when I wrote it.

The instant she woke up, she remembered everything that happened the previous day. The mission, the cataloguing of the bones that took up most of her evening, and the kiss… 

Joanna couldn’t think of anything else other than him, the fact that he felt something for her, whatever it was, and that all this time he had been conflicted about his feelings for her thanks to her own actions. If she hadn’t had been so damn cruel in the first place, things would have come to a head much earlier.

Though what the resolution of their revelation had been, Joanna had no clue. He had feelings for her again, that was all she could take from it. What those feelings were – whether it was lust, affection, admiration, she could not tell. She had told him the truth about her feelings, that she didn’t really know what she was feeling for him though she definitely was feeling something. What that would mean for the future for them, only the gods knew. 

They would have to discuss it – together, alone again. She got nervous at the thought of it. That nervous excitement that starts in the belly and consumes your entire being, that is addictive and so wrong at the same time. She wanted so badly to go talk to him, to be near to him, to look at him.

They hadn’t had a chance to talk about anything after her father and Mr Spock had entered the abandoned shuttle. Straight away, the first officer had ordered them around, making Pavel try his hardest to download any data from the shuttle’s computer on the other side of the ship from her. Her father and her were issued with examining the bones of the previous crew, bagging them up for further analysis back on the ship. 

Even after they had returned to the ship when the ion storm had settled, cold and tired after six hours stranded, the two had no contact. He had looked over at her the moment they had stepped off of the transporter, but the presence of her father besides her, along with his glare, had set him scurrying away.

Her father...

Bones had been scowling since he saw them on the ship, though there was nothing new there. Joanna could tell he was itching to say something to her, anything, and she knew the moment he spotted her that day he was going to corner her on the matter. They still had a lot of things to learn about each other, but one thing Joanna did know was that her dad could not keep quiet on a matter even if he tried. She had the same problem.

That morning she was deliberately late for work, making sure that her father would have started on a project (probably the bones from the shuttle) and his attention would have hopefully been drawn away from her. Sehar had rolled her eyes at her tardiness, but Jo laughed it off, not wanting to dwell on how pathetic she was.

Joanna’s plan was going well. She arrived at the Sick Bay with no one around, everyone was either by a bed or in the labs researching the oddest of things, and her father was nowhere in sight. She hurried towards the medical station to see what her dad had assigned her to that day, her movements much more conspicuously than she would have liked. She would have liked to be working on the shuttles case but there was no way her dad was not working on that case, and she definitely didn’t want to spend all day being questioned by him. Knowing her dad, she would have been given the worst jobs available in response to the day before and looking at the station, he most definitely had. Disposal of medical waste, lovely.

“Jo!”

She hadn’t had time to move away from the station before she heard her dad’s threatening tone call out from behind her. 

“Yes, boss?” She groaned, turning to see him sitting at his desk in his office, his signature frown upon his face.

He had been waiting for her. Great.

“Come in. Sit. We need to talk,” he beckoned her over, watching her carefully as she fell down into the chair in front of him. “Also, you’re late – I’m putting that down on your record. I don't wanna know why, and you can wipe that sulk look off your face.” 

So, he was going to be like that. Joanna crossed her arms across her chest, ready to give it as good as she got. Her dad continued to study her, debating what he was going to interrogate her about first. 

She pouted, well and truly living up to the role of a begrudging daughter. “What?”

“Chekov… really, Jo?” He grimaced, his head falling into his hand.

His name sounded like a curse on his lips, causing Joanna to get a wave of protectiveness she didn’t know she possessed, especially not for Pavel. The peculiarity of the feeling was added to by the notion that she had no idea what she was getting protective over. As far as she was aware, there was nothing confirmed between them. At present, they were merely two friends who have kissed, the promise of something more unspoken between them.

“It’s nothing serious,” she spoke honestly, there was no need for lies. 

If they were to get serious, her dad would never be on their side if she wasn’t honest with him. Though, from the increased intensity of his scowl at her words, he wasn’t keen on her answer regardless of her intention.

“That makes things worse…” Bones grumbled, exasperated. “Of all the guys on the ship, Jo, you had to go with someone I see all damn the time.” 

She wanted to tell him that it was his issue, not hers, but she knew better - it wouldn’t get her very far, it would only fuel the frame.

“I’m not ‘going with’ him. Like I said, it’s nothing serious.” 

Her dad threw her a look that told her he didn’t believe a word she was saying. It was infuriating considering it was all true.

“I think you had your tongue too far down his throat for me to believe that one,” he rolled his eyes, the bitterness in his voice very much present. “You know, I heard whisperings about the two of you. Crap about you hanging out together and something about you two on Risa… I thought it was all nonsense - then I saw THAT.” 

He shook his head, grumbling to himself as he loaded up another bullet to fire at her, at Pavel.

“Seriously, though – Chekov? I like the kid, I do – but you could do so much better,” her dad began to gesture, evidently, he was getting worked up. 

It annoyed her how much he seemed to hate the idea of them, the anger in his voice was palpable. Maybe she was biased, but Joanna failed to see why he would be such a bad match for her, evening though that was purely theoretical thinking. He was smart, good looking, one of the most prolific young officers in Starfleet. It wasn’t like she had a load of options considering she was stuck on a ship with only 200 or so men, Chekov was basically a diamond in the rough. Yeah, he had been around the block a few times but if that was his only vice then she could live with it. 

“Not to mention that he’s way too old for you.” 

Ah. She knew it would come down to his age. 

Her brow furrowed, aggravated at her father’s foolishness. “It’s only five years.”

Their age gap was practically nothing, and it could have been much worse. He wasn’t the youngest on the crew any longer now that a few graduating years had been assigned there, but he was leagues away from being the oldest. 

“Well five years is a lot at your age,” he reasoned. 

“You said yourself that girls mature faster than guys… I’d say we were about even,” Joanna’s bite was beginning to come out, no longer happy to just sit there and take his doubts. 

Her dad took no notice of it, continuing his tirade like he had rehearsed it in a mirror. 

“And that’s not to mention his history! Do you know how many times I’ve had to administer STD tests on the boy? He almost rivals Jim.”

Now Joanna was the one rolling her eyes, forgetting that only a couple of months ago she had the same convictions against him.

“Dad, I don’t think you should be telling me this… Hippocrates? Remember that man?” She raised her eyebrows sarcastically, winning a frown from her father.

“I just…” He sighed, defeated. “Is this what you want Jo?”

It was the white flag she was hoping for, acceptance. Though, the acceptance would mean nothing if they didn’t have a chance to talk about what had happened.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t joking when I said it wasn’t serious. It’s all very… new,” she felt comfortable confiding in him despite his grumblings – he was still her father, after all.

“Well, I suppose he does have a good future in front of him. He’s a genius, brilliant.” Joanna almost groaned at that word. “I’m sure Jim told me he’s been offered other positions but has turned them all down, so he has that going for him. Plus, he’s scared of me so he wouldn’t dare do anything to hurt you.”

Well, that had potential. She supposed it was a start.

“That’s because you glare at him all the time,” she scolded him. 

Her father reacted strongly at that, frowning very melodramatically. 

“I do not! Has he told you that?” He protested a little too strongly that it came across as comical.

“He didn’t have to, I have eyes.” 

Her father had spent the entire time they were trapped on the shuttle glaring at the Russian, and there wasn’t anything subtle about it. Even Mr Spock had looked at the doctor questioning his aggression, and if the Vulcan was detecting human emotions, it must have been obvious.

Bones continued to frown for a moment before he let out a long, dejected breath, his mood deflating along with his lungs. “Well, he’s clean right now, I’ll tell you that, and he’s been good at keeping up with his injections, so I won’t be having any grandbabies anytime soon.”

Well, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear that coming out of her father. She supposed it was his way of rationalising the situation, though reducing Chekov to his sexual health appointments was not the most comfortable of things to discuss. What was worse was he’d clearly studied his medical record that morning, something that worried her. She knew her dad would never abuse his position, but he was willing to let his medical history stand in place of his character, which wasn't a good trait to have. 

“So, I take it you aren’t going to kill him?” She probed, not really certain where he stood in the matter. His face was saying one thing, his words another.

He groaned. “For God’s sake, Jo. I’m a doctor not a murderer.” 

She chuckled at that. At least she wasn’t going to see Pav suffering from any mystery illnesses anytime soon.

Her dad leant forward on his desk, his hands clasped together as he looked at her, imploring her to listen. “Look, I don’t agree with this… If he cleans up his act and is serious about you then, okay. But please Jo, be careful. You don’t shit where you eat, it just gets messy.”

That was an eloquent way of putting it...

“I know what I’m doing,” she confirmed, indulging his concern.

Joanna reckoned she did know what she was doing too. She may not have a clue what was going on between them, what they were or what they were going to be, but she knew how shambolic things would get if things went south between them. There would be ways out of the awkwardness if it went that way, though that would probably mean one of them leaving the ship, and as the least essential member of the Enterprise out of the two of them, it would probably be her. But all that was avoidable if she played things safe, and Joanna was determined to do that the best she could. 

“I’m sure you do…” He stalled, unsure he trusted in her abilities. “Jo, I know I’m no good at this, doing the whole father thing. We both know I’ve never been good at it… But you’re my little girl, and I care about you.”

Those words made her heart swell.

Joanna nodded, her smile filled with admiration for her dad. “You’re trying – I’m trying too."

He was, he truly was. The two had always had a strained relationship, he was absent, and she was resentful. Plus, the two shared a number of similarities that caused them to butt heads. That, and she shared a resemblance both physically and personally to her mother, and they all knew how things ended between her and her father. Those cracks, however, had begun to mend the more time they spend with each other, and the relationship that they both craved was beginning to solidify in ways neither of them had imagined. In a way, moving onto the Enterprise was the best decision Joanna ever made, she just hoped whatever was going on with Pav wouldn’t ruin it.

“There’s a lot to mend,” he reasoned, smiling sadly at the thought. “If you ever, ever want to come to me about anything… even if that means telling somethings I don’t want to hear about Chekov… you can do that. I may not be the best dad, but I do know a thing or two about relationships – divorce not included.”

“Dad… I don’t want to hear about that,” Joanna squealed. 

There was no way that she ever wanted to know about her dad and his relationships. No way, zero, zilch. It was never going to happen.

“What? Don’t you believe your old man is a catch? Besides, I had to see you and Chekov… canoodling!” Her dad teased her, happy to fall into the role of the embarrassing father.

“Canoodling?” She grimaced at the word. 

They were just kissing, very innocently too. They certainly weren’t ‘canoodling’.

“Just don’t do it in front of me again – and definitely not in the Sick Bay, we don’t want to make the patients even sicker,” he shot her a playful warning glare which she knew was not as playful as he was trying to make it seem. 

It was then that her personal communicator went off, indicating that she had received a message. Her eyes met her fathers at the noise, an automatic connection flowing between them indicating that they both knew who had sent it.

“I take it he’s the one who keeps on making you smile at your comm… great,” Bones snarled, turning to his desktop monitor as he dismissed her.

Joanna fled from his office as fast as she could, excited to get away from the awkwardness that existed in that room. She opened up her comm as she moved to her station for the day, desperate to see what he had to say to her after a night of no communication. The moment she saw the words on the screen, Joanna began to smile. 

**Let me know when you are on your break. PAC**

* * *

Joanna got off for her lunch later than she’d planned. Yet again, there had been an accident in Engineering, and Joanna had been called to help treat an array of minor burns and cuts. Honestly, the guys in Engineering really did have to be more careful, they seemed to be the only people they treated day in day out. She was sick of seeing to their minor injuries, though, she definitely preferred it to something more serious.

It was well after midday when she made her way to the Mess Hall, sending a quick message to Pav to explain why she was so late. He had mentioned to her at some point in the away mission the day before that he was on a later shift that day as it was early evening that they were expecting to be on the approach to the next planet they were required to visit. So, with her little set back, she knew he would be already on his shift that day and therefore unlikely to be able to meet up with her.

The Mess was basically empty when she got there, her heart dropping of the lack of Chekov being there. With a sigh, Joanna got her meal for the day from the synthesiser – a mysterious looking chicken sandwich that she was sure would taste much better than it looked, and made her way to a table, resigned to eating alone. She had only got two bites into her meal before a tray was placed on the table in front of her, and the smiling face of Pavel Chekov appeared in the seat across from her.

They stared at each other for a second, both a little shocked and uncertain about where to start. There were a lot of things unsaid between them and a lot to decide upon. Besides, the whole ordeal made her feel nervous. Not because he made her nervous, he couldn’t be threatening even if he tried, but because she was apprehensive of all the possibilities that the man could give her. It was a scary thought. 

“Hello,” he began, speaking softly and full of intent.

“Hi,” she smiled at him, her eyes brimming with interest. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on the later shift today.” 

Pavel shrugged sheepishly. Joanna suspected he had pulled a number of strings to get there.

“I think we need to talk. We never got the chance yesterday,” he mumbled, his confidence faltering. “Wasn’t too hard to convince the captain I needed to have my break now… seems your father has already confided in him.” 

Joanna groaned at the thought. If Kirk knew, then goodness knows who else knew about them.

“Oh god,” she grimaced.

“He did let me come here, I think he may be on our side,” Pav tried to comfort her, believing his words.

He was probably right. If she knew anything about the captain, it was that he loved to go against the status quo. If her dad wasn’t happy about the two of them, whatever they were, then Kirk would actively disagree with him just because he could. Also, everyone knew he had a soft spot for Chekov, all of the bridge crew did. He was like their little brother, everyone could see it, even Mr Spock seemed to hold the lieutenant in high regard.

“Okay, let’s do the talking,” he prompted her to start, gesturing to her as he got settled into his chair.

He began to pick at the fried chicken he had ordered, not caring that they were sitting together, alone, in public. Joanna anxiously looked around the room, there were only a couple of people in the Mess at that moment, all of whom were throwing inquisitive looks their way. Any thoughts about them trying to stay as private as possible had clearly abandoned him. 

“You want to do it here?” She grumbled, realising she had really underestimated what she had gotten herself into. 

When she had expected to see him on her break in the Mess, the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind that they would be in public. If she had finished when she had expected to, they would have been sitting in a much busier hall, meaning that it could have been a lot worse. Joanna started to wonder what else she hadn’t thought about in regard to him.

“I need to eat something,” he shrugged, not giving it a second thought.

She supposed he was used to people looking at him. Between his reputation as a womaniser and his status amongst the crew, he always was in the limelight. Between her new connection to him and the fact she was her father’s daughter, she supposed that meant that she was in the limelight too.

Joanna took a moment longer to question it, coming to terms with the notion in her head. 

With one last glance around the room, Joanna resolved to continue the conversation. “Sure… it’s not as if we need to hide it from my dad. He basically crucified me this morning.”

At that, his head shot up in a panic, his eyes wide.

“Yikes,” he flinched. “How much does he hate me?”

“Surprisingly, not much but I’d get used to his glares for a little while longer,” she grinned at him, enjoying his anxiety at the thought of her grumpy dad.

Pavel made an exasperated noise at the thought, followed by something under his breath in Russian. It made her laugh. She knew her dad’s disapproval could really impact what was happening between them, but right then she could only find the situation amusing. There was something comforting about a judgemental father still having an impact so far away from earth. 

When her laughter died down, Joanna noticed he was staring at her – his eyes seemed so deep and intense, returning her to the matter in front of them. They were there to talk, to have a proper talk, and one that was not going to be light. There was something between them, a journey together that neither of them knew how simple or long it would be, and they needed to set out their initial terms. 

“So…” He started, getting the talk going. 

“So,” she echoed him, not wanting to take the lead. 

“We kissed.” 

She nodded in agreement. “We did.”

Pavel turned his attention back to his food, whether it was a comfort thing or a hunger thing it was hard to tell. 

“I liked it,” he mumbled, not meeting her gaze. 

“Me too,” she nodded, focusing on her sandwich. “And… now?”

“That’s what we need to figure out,” he spoke quietly, the significance of the conversation not lost on him. “This isn’t awkward at all…” 

His attempt at sarcasm instantly relaxed her, reminding her just who exactly she was sitting with. This was Pavel, not some stranger who was scary, there was no way she had to let whatever was happening make her feel uncomfortable. 

“Back off, sarcasm is my thing,” she smirked at him, looking over at him.

Unlike her, his mood seemed to have soured completely. He was no longer picking at his food, but he was still restless, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Joanna’s gut started to ache at the sight. She wasn't really sure what to expect from him.

He began to breathe heavily. “Look, Jo. I like you –“

“But?” She said it for him, feeling herself start to go on the defence.

There was no way she would allow him to hurt her feelings without going down with a fight. Yet again, he was hot and cold with her, constantly flipping between the two and toying with her emotions. At times, she thought her initial assessment of the man was correct after all, he was a player and knew exactly how to play the game.

“But I don’t think I’m ready to commit to anyone,” his eyes met hers, and she knew he felt apprehensive. 

“Jesus, Pav, I’m not expecting you to marry me,” she tried to joke it away, hoping to alleviate some of the tension between them. 

She did it more for herself than him, the look in her eyes made her feel even more uneasy.

He chuckled, his face relaxing. “I know that. I just didn’t want you expecting something I can’t deliver.” 

She could tell he didn’t mean it as a final blow to them, though the thought didn’t relax her. They were on the same page on that front, she too didn’t want anything serious. She was fresh out of the Academy, had her whole future ahead of her, and was certainly not going to get tied down without a fight. Besides, if things were going to get serious, properly serious – as in married and kids serious, she knew it would be her who would have to compromise – he was way too valuable to Starfleet for them to let him play happy families all day. She believed in her own talents, but she was nothing special, he on the other hand was indispensable. If God forbid that ever happened and she was mad enough to go along with it, she was determined to have a lot more years before that happened. 

“Got it. No strings,” she agreed, and he clearly seemed happy to hear it. 

He grinned at her, picking up his fork. 

“But I do like you. A lot,” Pavel bit his lip slightly, and Joanna began to blush.

“I wouldn’t know. You have been very hot and cold,” she teased. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologised, the grin still on his face didn’t reduce the worth of his words. “In my defence, I always liked you, I just didn’t want to get my feelings hurt.”

It was relieving to hear that all this time her intentions had not been ignored. That gut wrenching feeling to like someone who doesn’t like you had all been for nothing, it was a nice thing to confirm she had been wrong. 

“That’s fair,” she nodded, respecting that. “For what it’s worth, I like you too but I’m the same – I’m 21, I’m not looking for something serious.”

“Okay so we are agreed.” He held out his hand, treating their conversation like a business deal. “No commitments, no strings, no expectations.”

She beamed at his childishness. 

“Deal,” she shook his hand, giving it a satisfying squeeze. “Let’s just see what happens.”

They both returned to their meals, content at just spending time together, both thinking about what the future may hold for them. It could be something marvellous, or something dreadful, but there was something so exciting about finding out. 

Joanna stole a few looks in his direction when he wasn’t watching, admiring the sight and enjoying the opportunity to view him in a well-lit environment. The man liked her, and always had, and the promise of more, to kiss him again, and probably then some, made him all the more attractive to her.

“So, what does that make us?” He met her gaze, his mind clearly racing as it always did.

His foot nudged hers under the table and he kept it there, pressing up against her ankle. She caught his foot between hers, holding it with a mischievous grin upon her face.

“Fuck knows – friends with benefits doesn’t really cover it, does it?” She frowned, enjoying toying with his foot under the table. 

She hadn’t really thought about what she had said, concentrating more on the feeling of his leg close to her but the shit eating grin on his face told her she had said something that excited him, a lot. 

“Ahh, so there will be benefits, da?” He smirked at her, his foot moving against hers.

Benefits. She knew exactly what that meant, and the thought excited her. She certainly wanted that, and she had thought about it an awful lot. His fingers had brushed against her bare skin too many times for her mind not to have gone there. Besides, she knew he’d have lots of practice, and there were certainly no rumours about him being awful in bed. There was a good chance if they went there that it would be some of the best sex of her life, and she was definitely not going to turn it down. She squeezed her thighs together at the notion, her belly filling with a nervous buzz that could only be described as want.

“Perhaps,” she giggled at the inappropriate direction their conversation had taken. “I’m making no commitments though.”

She raised her eyebrows at the roguish look on his face, moving her leg against his so her bare skin connected with his under his trouser leg. She had never been happier to be wearing a dress in her life – it was making things so much easier. Pavel winked at her, and she was caught between wanting to laugh and kiss him. 

“Let’s just say we are enjoying each other’s company,” Joanna reasoned, happy with the assessment. 

It was probably the best way to describe them, because God knows what else they could be. Even though their talk had been a fruitful one, there was still nothing really resolved from it. At the very least they knew where they stood with each other, though Joanna had no clue if she would be within her right to be mad at him if she saw him with another girl. But she was ready to accept that that was the consequence of having a ‘no strings attached’ relationship.

“Da. I like that.” 

Pavel beamed at her, looking at her like she was the most special person in the world. Her heart raced at the look, her head instantly falling into a spin. Joanna pleaded with herself to not fall for him. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t. They weren’t being serious, she needed to remember that.


	15. I want you, bless my soul and I ain't gotta tell him I think he knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the longer break between this chapter and the next, but in my defence it was a bit of a behemoth to edit.

Dinner that evening had been much needed after such a long, tiresome day for both her and Sehar. 

Sehar had been shouted at by her CO all day, she claimed it was over nothing, but Joanna was not sure she believed her, knowing that even one wrong look from her friend was enough to make anyone angry at her. Sehar, as pretty as she was, knew exactly how to deliver a murderous look, and half of the time she didn’t realise she was doing it. 

On the other hand, Joanna had had an absolutely terrible day. Nothing had gone right for her, from mouthy patients, a faulty dermal regenerator, and an unfortunate incident with the bags of bones from the last away mission (turns out they were carrying toxic agents and she was forced to spend half the day in quarantine with her father until they could determine they weren't affected by it – totally fun…). Joanna couldn’t think of one thing she had enjoyed about that day making dinner with a close friend a welcome distraction. 

The dinner was perhaps more enjoyable to her as the thought of the amount of work she had to do that evening lingered in the back of her mind. The bones from the shuttles needed their identities returning to them, and that was before she had to tackle just what chemicals were in those bones. Before they had placed themselves into decontamination and quarantine, her father and her had managed to upload a considerable amount of data on the bones, and the two had gotten to work studying them in a couple of PADDs while they waited for the quarantine process to be over and they got the all clear to leave.

Their initial thoughts from what they had gathered had resulted in a mixed bag of information. For starters, the toxins in the bones seemed like an effect of a disease of some kind, however that disease didn’t seem to have any effect on the persons it had inhabited. Also, only some of the bodies had the toxins, while the others were completely untouched. There was likewise nothing so far that helped them determine what the toxins were or how it acted within hosts. The only things they had determined were it had nothing to do with their deaths (as far as they could tell) and that it evidently wasn’t super contagious or else everyone in that cabin would have caught it. 

The whole situation was a complete mystery – bones with toxins that did nothing, old federation shuttles with faulty distress signals, a rescue mission that was the perfect trap, but nothing happened? There was something about the situation that made her feel uneasy, and Joanna was determined to get to the bottom of it. They were all linked somehow, and she refused to listen to Chekov theory about wormholes. 

Speaking of, she had not seen that man since their last talk in the Mess a few days prior. He’d been on a couple of late shifts the last few days, sending her a couple of messages every moment he got the chance, letting her know that despite his awkward schedule, he very much still wanted to see her. 

It was certainly his messages that made her quarantine process that day bearable.

She had to admire his tenacity. When he put his mind to it, he put every fibre of his being towards achieving something. For them, that meant sending her a slew of messages like some lovesick long-distance lover. The messages were tame, annoyingly and boringly innocent, but a constant reminder that he was wishing to pursue whatever they had going on. 

Only half of the notes she received she replied to, but they both knew she liked reading them all.

It was nice to hear about his day, what he was up to and what was happening on the bridge. If anything, Joanna was grateful for this new layer to their relationship as she found herself processing a larger amount of information about their voyage than she’d ever find out otherwise. Moreover, she just liked that he was constantly thinking about her, constantly finding the need to message her.

The messages had had their intended effect. Every time she received one, Joanna got a little bit excited to see what it would say, enjoying his weird way of saying things and how he always managed to make the most tedious of stories sound amusing. Everything he wrote sounded formal, the correct grammar, the correct spelling; It was like he had learnt English straight from a textbook (and he probably had). 

Her favourite messages came in the early hours of the morning, just before she was about to turn in for the night. These messages were sent after he had finished his shift and displayed a much different Pavel from what she experienced the rest of the day. These messages were silly, carefree and a lot more casual than the ones she received earlier. It was almost as if his writing functions clocked off with his shift, and instead of the perfect sentences and punctuation she got before, she received messy bilingual messages, and an awful lot of funny pictures. 

None of the messages so far had been outwardly flirty, but the tone was there, lying amongst the sheer number of messages they sent to one another. It was there in his nightly messages, it was there in her quick responses when she felt like replying. Between them there was a promise created that day in the Mess that hung between them like they were waiting for a judge’s sentencing. A promise that when they finally saw each other again, they would explore more of what exactly made them ‘them’. All the texting was mere foreplay.

And foreplay always leaded to something much more satisfying...

It was because of that reason that Joanna’s heart jumped into her throat as she saw him running towards her as her and Sehar made their way back to their dorm.

He was in his exercise gear, Mr Sulu by his side, and he smiled at her the instant she laid eyes on him. The two of them were running the decks, something she always promised herself she would do more often but never actually did it. Pav had told her it was one of his favourite past times, he used to run the marathon back in his Academy days, something she didn’t even bother to dream about. From the way the two of them seemed to be comfortable, running with perfect posture and a good pace, he was still clearly very good at it.

Besides her she felt Sehar shift, and Joanna didn’t even need to look over at her to know she was sending her a knowing look. As the two men drew closer, Pavel began to slow down, coming to a slow jog as he started to approach them. Joanna’s heart felt like it had only just learnt how to beat. 

Mr Sulu overtook him, shaking his head with a large, familiar grin on his face at his friend’s actions. 

“If you are still here when I come back round, you’re doing another ten laps,” he called over to him, picking up his pace to try and catch his friend out. 

They were on one of the smaller decks of the ship, it wouldn’t take him terribly long to get back round to them. Already Joanna had zero faith that their conversation would be over by the time he got back round. 

“Aye!” Pav shouted back to his friend as he came to a halt in front of the two of them. 

He was beaming from ear to ear, his eyes locked on hers and giving no interest in the girl besides her. The run had made his chest heave, his breathing heavy, and his cheeks had a lovely pink glow to them that made him look younger than he was.

“Ensign McCoy… Ensign Nasir.”

His eyes flickered towards Sehar, unsure how to act around the girl. As far as Joanna was aware, the two of them had never met, or at least they had never been formally introduced. They both knew far too much about each other though, thanks to herself and the ship’s gossips. Still, none of that had told him how he needed to act around her. 

“Lieutenant,” Sehar replied for them both, the smirk on her face palpable.

Chekov’s eyes flew from Sehar back to her, inquiring to her silently what she knew about them and whether he even should have been talking to her right now. 

Joanna scoffed, relishing watching his overthinking. “It’s fine, she knows.”

“You bet I know,” Sehar responded in an instant, giving him no chance to take in what was going on.

Between the two of them, Joanna and Pavel blushed so much the heat would be enough to power a sun. She watched as he looked at her friend, taking her in as one took in an opponent. He let out a nervous chuckle, a little taken aback about Sehar and her radiating confidence that came naturally to her.

“Erm,” Pavel cleared his throat as he turned his attention back to her, trying his hardest to ignore the woman next to her. “What are you doing this evening?”

The lingering thought of the promise of exploring new avenues of their new agreement was brought to the forefront of her mind, her thoughts instantly going to the most unholy of places.

“Well, I have a date with a pile of medical research that I’m so looking forward to,” she smirked at him coyly, knowing full well that he would offer to do something with her.

Pav hummed at her joke, his eyes filled with amusement. 

“Do you need the lab?” He continued, his eyes fixed upon her.

“No, why?” 

But she knew exactly why he was asking. All three of them there knew. 

“Come to mine, you can use my desk,” Pavel grinned at her suggestively. 

It surprised her that he had the audacity to be so forward in front of Sehar and in public, but Joanna was not going to complain, she liked this side of him. It reminded her of before, when she was a mystery to him that he was so desperate to solve. It was nice to feel wanted, to be pursued again.

“I do actually have to study, you know,” Joanna warned playfully, very happy for her work to be forgotten that night.

There was no chance in hell that she was going to go to him and she was going to get all of her work done. No way whatsoever. Their last conversation had ensured that. There was no chance that Joanna would be alone with him and find a way to concentrate on anything other than him.

“Da! That’s why I’m offering,” he began gesturing excitedly in a way that could only be described as being Chekov. “It’s quieter there – I have some things I need to do so I won’t bother you. You can get all the studying done, I promise.”

They both heard Sehar scoff next to them, clearly not believing that scenario would play out any more than she did. Their shared blushing intensified at her observation.

“Well, okay,” she didn’t need to be persuaded. “What time should I meet you there?”

Pavel looked at the fitness watch on his wrist, pursing his lips as he made a quick calculation in his head. 

He smiled brightly at her, his eyes filled with excitement at what was to come. “Give me about thirty minutes, I should be done then.”

“Mr. Sulu is down the corridor,” Sehar pointed behind him before either of them could flirt anymore, drawing them out of their connection.

The comical look of panic on his face made them both laugh.

He nodded to them. “I will see you then. Good evening, ensigns.” 

With that, Chekov set off down the corridor, sprinting away like he was being chased by a cheetah.

“Pav, I can see you!” 

Sulu called out to him, but Chekov paid him no attention, continuing to pull as far away as he could to avoid his friend’s punishment. Joanna was not sure who would win out of the two of them in a battle of wills, though she suspected she would find out later on.

“He totally invited you round to have sex with him.” Sehar whispered next to her, not wanting Mr Sulu who was just making his way past them to hear. 

He smiled at the two of them as he overtook them, his eyes filled with mischief. Evidently he too knew exactly what had just happened without needing to be there to hear it. 

“Sehar!” Joanna scolded her directness.

Her friend rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying.”

It’s not that the thought of having sex with him was unappealing, in fact she had found herself thinking about it quite a lot as of late, but there was something about Sehar’s words that worried her. Was that all he was wanting from her? Was all those messages for nothing? She was hoping for a few heated make out sessions that made them both long for more before they decided to cross that line. It was still true that she did not know what she wanted with him, but Joanna was confident she didn't want whatever they were to be reduced to just sex, not now that she was starting to crave spending time with him instead of just craving him.

If this dilemma had occurred only weeks earlier, when he had kissed her that day in his room, the want between them clear as day, she would have agreed to that in a heartbeat. She wanted nothing more than to touch him, to be close to him, to consume every part of him, and she still did, things were just different now. They were complicated, messy, and filled with feelings that had not reached their full potential. To reduce what they had to just sex was something she would only begrudgingly accept. It certainly wouldn’t be her first choice, but she wouldn’t turn it down if it was her only one. 

“Do you think that’s what it meant, really?” Joanna asked her friend, the apprehension in her tone peaking through.

“‘Some things I need to do’ totally translates to doing you. I’m calling it now,” Sehar missed her friend’s shift in mood however as she continued to tease her. “He’s got to put all that adrenaline and endorphins to good use somehow, you might as well feel the benefit of it.” 

* * *

After looking over herself in the mirror for close to a hundred times, Joanna had decided that she didn’t have to change out of her daily uniform, mainly due to the fact that she felt her dress was much more appealing than the alternative off duty wear of sweats and a t-shirt. Once she had settled on the matter, she arrived outside of Chekhov’s quarters with plenty of time to spare, her eyes watching uncomfortably all the crew members who walked past as she waited. She could tell exactly what they were thinking, and it didn’t help that she knew they were somewhat correct in their assumptions. 

He was late. 

The computer acknowledged he was not in the room, so she could only assume that he was still out with Mr Sulu, probably being punished for staying with her too long. So, Joanna had resolved to wait, her PADD and research notes in her arms, and gave him another ten minutes to turn up or she would be leaving. 

It wasn’t long after she had come to that decision that the man in question and Mr Sulu appeared in the corridor. Both of them were donning red faces and wide grins, their hair plastered to their foreheads in a way that indicated they had clearly gone hard in their run (that or they’d had a very passionate meeting).

It was Sulu who spotted her first, pointing over to her and nudging his friend. His eyebrows were raised playfully as he whispered something to Pavel, making the junior officer turn an even darker shade of red. 

Chekov laughed off what he said, patting Sulu’s arm as the two split up, the former walking straight towards her, the latter going to the next room over. 

Of course, the two lived right next to each other, Joanna should have known. The two of them were inseparable.

Mr Sulu flung her a mischievous grin as he opened the door to his room, making his presumptions of why she was going to Pavel’s room known. It simultaneously made her restless and annoyed, for while she was eager to see how their new relationship would manifest itself, she hated being predictable.

“Jo.” 

Pavel beamed at her in greeting, his eyes filled with excitement and hope at seeing her fulfilling her promise to come to his room. Suddenly, Joanna found herself confused about how to reply, did she hug him? Shake his hand? Kiss him? They hadn’t covered this in their meeting. It was one thing running into him in the corridor randomly, that she had dealt with fine, but it was another to turn up to a prior arranged event where she was definitely going to see him. 

Instead of doing anything, Joanna just stared at him like a timid mouse, scared to make any sudden movements. She didn’t know what had gotten into her, usually she was confident in these types of situations, knowing exactly what she wanted and not caring if people didn’t like that. But there was something about this one, something about him, that made all reason go out of the window for her. All her logic and sense were floating somewhere outside the ship. 

“Hi,” she somehow managed to squeak out, instantly cringing at how pathetic she sounded.

He paid her pitiful behaviour no attention, instead he moved to open the door next to her and ushered her inside. His hand lingered on her back as he guided her to move, and her body promised to remember how every inch of his touch felt for the future. Every nerve in her body felt on edge, something which Joanna, who was always so in control of everything, was not used to feeling.

She blamed Sehar for all this, it was all her fault. If she hadn’t have pointed out to her that there was a good chance she would have sex with him that evening she wouldn’t have been feeling this way. It wasn’t that she was scared of that, not in slightest – she was not a virgin by any means, and she trusted him in all respects despite their rocky past. Instead, it was like something she had thought about for so long finally coming into fruition. Something she had thought about (a lot more than she cared to admit – especially when she was alone at night) so much that she stopped believing it may actually happen, and the thought that it may suddenly be upon her had shook her core.

The door closed behind them with a satisfying hiss and the lights in the room automatically engaged, bathing the two of them in a comfortable yellow light that vastly contrasted from the bright white lighting of the corridors outside. 

Joanna watched as he rounded in front of her, the heat from his body overwhelming her senses. He smiled down at her slightly, before wasting no time in moving to connect his lips to hers, his hands raising to cradle her face. Joanna paused for a second, her mind racing, before melting and just letting herself be kissed.

There was nothing sensual about the kiss, nothing that led her to believe they would be doing anything else that night. Instead, it was full of sweetness, of genuine delight at seeing her, and of happiness of being together. 

The heat from his face radiated to hers, reminding her of what he had been doing previously, but Joanna didn’t care. In that moment, he could have been covered in something miles worse than sweat and she wouldn’t mind as long as he kept kissing her. 

Her hands had remained on her studying supplies, her arms clasped around them and stuck between their chests. If it wasn’t for his warm palms against her jaw, she was certain she would have leaned into him so much she would have lost her balance and would be unable to catch herself. 

It was just one of those truly great kisses which make every part of the mind swoon.

He pulled away from her and left her wanting more, the smug look on his face indicating he knew full well what he had just done to her. 

Joanna eyed him carefully as she tried to compose herself, watching as he licked his lips, considering going back for more and boy would she have loved that. 

“What was that for?” Joanna asked gingerly, breathless.

“Because I could,” he shrugged, his hands dropping from her face, yet he stayed close to her. “I haven’t had a chance to do that since the last away mission.”

With that, Pavel turned away from her, and she caught a good look at the way his shirt clung to him from his exercise, and Joanna instantly thought about peeling the item off of him herself. He made his way over to a closet and pulled out a Starfleet issued towel without looking at her once.

Joanna was rather glad he hadn’t taken in the sight of her as she was sure it would have been a pitiful one. She was only just beginning to regain her composure, the feeling in her body had emerged, allowing her to stand a little more confidently that she did before. 

When he finally spun to look at her again, Joanna had managed to regain most of her usual pose, though on the inside her neurons were still firing like mad at each other over what happened.

“I need to get a shower, please make yourself at home though,” he gestured around him, to the desk and the couch of his room, before he moved into the adjoining room without another word, leaving Joanna alone with her thoughts. 

She took no time as she collapsed on the couch, leaving her research on the arm as she placed her head in her hands. Her breath deepened as she tried to contemplate what had just happened to her, how everything she knew about herself had been forgotten and in its place stood a shy girl with a massive crush. The way she was acting was ridiculous, and she knew it. 

In the bathroom, she heard the shower turn on, and Joanna tried her absolute hardest to not think about what was going on in there, of the shedding of clothes and all the steam. Her mind was in the gutter, and she desperately needed to get it out of there for her to become a functioning human again.

Joanna groaned in frustration, trying to concentrate on something a little more serious. It was only then that she remembered she had brought her research with her, and she supposed it was a better time than any to do it since he wasn’t in the room with her. 

Grabbing her PADD, she brought up the file about the bones that her father and her had created earlier that day. Instantly, she saw that her dad was working on the files too, neither of them were on duty and not needing to work on the case out of hours. She supposed that was a tendency she got from her dad. 

The whole case was troubling to her, there was something seriously not right about it, and practically every time she looked at the data, she found another red flag. What troubled her most of all, however, was how they could not figure out who the bones belonged to. There had been no DNA, no markers at all that indicated who they may have been. Due to the nature of their surroundings, they had presumed they had been Starfleet, but no matter how much they tried, they couldn’t find anything. The only thing they did know was they belonged to humans or humanoid species, but that took up most of Starfleet’s company so wasn’t any help.

There had to be something that could identify them, some piece of information that might be rare, and would point them straight to the source, but so far there was nothing. Joanna was close to going around the problem and requesting historical documents of all mission shuttles, but with over a century of data collected, there was no way that would be a quick job. She’d certainly hold that one off as long as she could.

* * *

She was looking over the data from the bones located in the helmsman station when Chekov made his reappearance. 

When she heard the door go to the bathroom, Joanna’s head flew up in surprise. She hadn’t even noticed the shower being turned off. Immediately, her preoccupied mind was brought back to obsessing on the man, her jaw falling slack at the sight in front of her.

Pavel Chekov, the absolute tease, was only wearing a towel wrapped around his hips, giving her a front row seat to his body. Joanna wanted to say something witty, to snarl at him for doing the most basic trick in the book but she simply couldn’t do or think of anything. It was all rather embarrassing. 

Instead of giving him a piece of his own medicine for his cheek, all Joanna could do was scan her eyes down his body, taking in the sight. 

And it certainly wasn’t a bad sight, she’d give him that.

From the way the hair on his calves stuck to his legs from the water, to the scar he had on his right clavicle, Joanna noticed it all. He was thin, she knew that already, but he more toned that she had imagined, underestimating how much time he spent running around the ship, and she certainly wasn’t complaining about the surprise. Still, he was far from the body builders from back on Earth, but he made up for that on how he held himself – simultaneously confidently and endearingly.

 _Trapezius, Pectoralis Major, Latissimus Dorsi, Serratus Anterior_ … 

Joanna’s medical side couldn’t help but come through, interweaving into her thoughts about lust almost as if they were a coping mechanism. She supposed she had to look at him through a medical eye to make her feel better for falling for such a rudimentary trick.

 _External Obliques, Rectus Abdominis_ …

Joanna’s mind well and truly had returned to the gutter then, seeing the trail of dark hair that started at his lower abdomen and went below the towel. Her mouth went dry at the thought of where it ended its journey. 

He smirked at her staring and Joanna felt like slapping the mischievous look off of his face. He knew exactly what he was doing, and she didn’t think she cared enough to correct him for it, content at just staring at him.

His eyebrows raised up in a flash before he began to move – goodness knows how long they had stayed staring at each other. She watched as he walked to his wardrobe, admiring how the drops of water that clung to his body moved within the light, how the muscles moved beneath his skin as he reached for a change of clothes.

“Just forgot these,” he muttered sheepishly, gesturing to the clothes. 

With the clothes in hand, he disappeared back into the bathroom, showing her one last proud grin before he went. In his absence, it dawned on her just what exactly had happened, how she had fallen into his game and hadn’t minded one bit. Her mind felt a little like a washing machine, thoughts all jumbled up and mingled together, unable to detect one item from another.

All she could think about was him, all she wanted was him, and there was no way she was going to leave that night without making out with him at the very least. 

She had completely abandoned any thoughts towards continuing her research when he returned to the room, her PADD lying forgotten on her lap. He was wearing his Starfleet issued black sweats and t-shirt, the type she had seen many times before but never had she seen it worn so well.

 _Gosh, what was wrong with her_. 

Pavel picked his own PADD up from his desk and made his way over to her in silence. He didn’t even bother to look at her, driving her mad. It seemed like he actually intended to do some work tonight, working her up only to leave her unsatisfied for even longer... He knew just how to play her, and she let herself get played - happily too. 

As he sat down next to her, Joanna’s heart began to race at the familiar heat of his body next to her and the overwhelming fresh smell that was only present for the few moments after showering. He had made sure their shoulders were brushing, allowing her some form of connection (though it was a lightyear away from what she truly wanted).

“What are you up to?” He mumbled to her, meeting her gaze.

Chekov was trying to be as serious as he could, playing off what had just happened like it was nothing, but there was a hint in his eyes that he knew exactly what she was thinking.

The joke was on him though, as Joanna’s mind has begun to return to functioning status and there was no way she was going to let him get away with that. If he wanted to tease her and then play hard to get, then two of them could play at that game. And he clearly did not know the McCoy stubbornness well enough to know he would never win this. 

Joanna pulled up her PADD, showing him what she had been working on, trying her hardest to concentrate on that and that alone. He had promised she could get work done, and she was determined to do just that, no matter how much she yearned to touch him.

“Those bones we brought back from the shuttle have some sort of toxin in them but we’re not sure what. We don’t think it’s a threat – probably some kind of alien mono or something, but I still had to spend most of the day in the decontamination pod just in case,” she began explaining the situation to him, trying her hardest to sound as focused as possible.

Though Chekov didn’t seem to be interested in the details of what she was saying, instead his eyebrows were drawn together in concern.

“You were handling them?” He questioned her, his voice full of worry.

His care almost made her heart race more than seeing him in the doorway in just a towel. But only almost.

“It’s research, it’s part of the job,” she shrugged it off, never being good at dealing with people’s concern for her. 

“Do you feel fine?” He continued, not happy with her answer. 

Joanna rolled her eyes with a groan, hoping her humour would stop him for asking her any more questions about her health. “God, you are starting to sound like my dad.”

That had shut him up. He gave her a small smile before turning back to his own PADD, typing something out furiously with the air of someone who knew exactly what they were doing. From what she could gather, he was running some kind of calculation, but she couldn’t see the figures involved to understand what he was working on. Determined to distract him from his work, Joanna moved her leg to press against his, her bare leg touching his through his trouser leg. He reacted only slightly to the movement.

“What are you doing anyway?” She probed him for an answer, more interested in what he was doing than her own work. 

Joanna knew he was a genius, the guy practically walked around with the word tattooed to his forehead, but no matter how much time she spent with him, it amazed her how smart he was at figuring out a problem. It was attractive too. Joanna had always thought how underrated a guy with a good brain was, and she was discovering her attraction to it, and then some, in the form of Pavel Chekov.

“I’m trying to figure out how the shuttles got there, but no matter how much I try, I can’t calculate any situation that would cause this,” he looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, his expression telling her everything he was thinking. 

It was great to know there were in the same boat regarding the shuttles.

“It’s worrying. Something is not right,” Joanna confirmed what they both were thinking. 

Pavel made a nose of agreement.

He began gesturing with his free hand desperately, the way he always did when he was getting passionate about something. “Mr Scott and I can’t figure it out at all. Wormholes wouldn’t explain the condition of the shuttle and there’s no way it was all because of regular ion storms.” 

Joanna had not had the chance to become well acquainted with the ship’s chief engineer, but she had certainly heard enough stories about the man to know that she’d love him. Her dad had the utmost respect for the gentleman, and a genuine affection for the man. Pavel spoke of him like he was a king, and more than once over the last few days he had not messaged her for hours due to being with the man.

“Do you always go hiding away somewhere with Mr Scott?” She teased him, already knowing the answer.

Pavel’s attention was solely on the PADD in front of him, his response was nonchalant. “Yes.”

In a way, Joanna felt Mr Scott was more like a father to him than a friend, especially considering his own father was absent from his life. Whenever Pavel spoke of the man, there was a certain warmth to his words that indicated his love for the engineer. Every decision he made, he seemed to run past the man, valuing his advice above anything else. Joanna would not be surprised if he knew things that were going on between the two of them, though she doubted he would know _everything_.

“I’ve not really had a chance to talk to him yet.”

“He’s great,” Pavel murmured, turning away from his calculations to give her a wicked grin. “Us Europeans need to stick together, or we will become uncultured like you Americans.”

Joanna gasped playfully at his words, slapping the man on the shoulder and making him flinch away from her. “You swine.”

He feigned hurt, rubbing his arm like her attack had hurt him though it certainly hadn’t – if Joanna wanted to hurt him, then she would have. 

For a moment, Joanna thought their research would be forgotten, and she would finally understand what being in an agreement with Chekov would be like. But the lieutenant was far from over playing games with her that evening, and within seconds the light-hearted nature of the conversation was brought back to a more sombre matter.

With little warning, Chekov had returned to his work, his mind pondering the problem at hand. Joanna couldn’t tell if he had done that on purpose just to tease her or if that was just how quickly his brain worked – she was leaning towards the latter. She supposed she was biased because she was currently obsessed with the man, but Joanna was beginning to understand that Chekov didn’t function how she expected most other people to act. It just made him even more appealing to her.

He stayed close to her though, there was no space between the two of them. She could feel his heat, she could feel every breath he took and how the tendons in his arm moved with his typing on his device. She hoped to God that he would give in to the tension between them soon, for she was desperate for it to be over, and there was no way she was giving in first.

She knew he understood what she was thinking, yet Pavel continued to tap at his PADD, his mind still somewhat thinking about his work. 

“This toxin in the bones, did it kill the people on board?” His brows drew together as he turned to her again, his expression displaying that he might be onto something. 

Joanna’s research had long been forgotten, her attention being solely on him for quite a while. His question, however, had brought her straight back into the mystery, ready to forget about him and help him bounce ideas off of her. 

“Not as far as we are aware. It doesn’t seem to have done anything at all,” she frowned, shaking her head.

Pavel nodded slowly, taking in her words as if they were the gospel. “How come it was in the bones anyway? I don’t know much about medicine, but I’d have thought if it was a disease of sorts it would have probably been in the blood instead.” 

His accent seemed thicker when his mind was elsewhere, which Joanna found completely endearing. It was so unlike her, she usually went for guys who were anything but cute, and she undoubtedly wouldn’t find anyone’s accent or words adorable – the thought alone almost made her shudder. 

“It might have been, or it could be both. There’s a lot of grey area when it comes to alien medicine. Plus, a certain environment may have caused it to be there,” she answered, his questions were all things her father and her had already considered and had come to their own conclusion on. 

Chekov’s eyes scanned the room, almost as if he was looking for his next thought. “So, you have no idea how the people died?”

“No, and there’s not enough left of them to tell us who they are yet. We’re having to do some rooting,” Joanna motioned to the PADD on her lap on which she was analysing all the distinguishing features they had found from the bodies.

There was something about her words that made his eyes grow wide, demonstrating that some mad but brilliant theory she had overlooked had popped onto his brain.

“What?” She probed him to speak his mind.

“It’s just…” He paused, taking a moment to really think about what he wanted to say. “Do you think there may be a chance the toxins you speak of are not a disease – we can’t determine which ship the shuttles were from either, maybe this was a cover up? That’s what Mr Scott suspects it may be.”

Their theory was a great one, and one she hadn’t even considered. They had presumed, being the medical officers that they were, that the toxins found on the bones were something that affected a living being, not something that may have been used on a dead body. 

“So, the bones may have been stripped of any information we could have got from them? But then why? Who would do that?” Joanna theorised.

It would certainly explain why they couldn’t find a single traceable thing on the skeletons no matter what they tried, though that was the only mystery they could solve by that theory. It didn’t explain who they were, why there was no information on both the bodies and the ship, or why they had distress signals on them.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Pavel nodded solemnly, it was a grim situation. “We haven’t taken it to the captain yet. He seems too preoccupied at the moment.” 

The mention of the captain brought her mind towards another mystery that she had yet to find out about – just where exactly they were heading.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. Where are we even going? No one has been told anything but we all know which empire we are going towards,” Joanna scowled, hating being in the dark about anything.

Even her dad didn’t know just what they were doing, and if he did, he was lying to her about it, which made things even worse. From the lack of an anxious reaction to her questioning, Pavel either didn’t know much more than her or was an extremely good liar.

“There’s a planetoid that has been causing some problems with ships that go near it, draining energy – that sort of problem. But all scans indicate there’s no life there,” Chekov answered her, though there was something about his words that hinted there was more to it. “No one has been able to get close enough to do any proper research and we’ve got one of the biggest power sources so...”

“Why has it been such a secret then? Do you think it might be connected at all?” Joanna moved her PADD off of her lap, no longer interested in pursuing any lines of enquiry about the shuttles. This was much more compelling to her.

“I don’t know. But that’s all I’ve been told,” he shrugged helplessly. “I don’t think Captain Kirk would have been called to an in-person council if it was just that.”

Ah.

There it was. He could tell something was amiss too. The thought comforted her that it was not just her that was doubting their captain’s intentions, but it was evident from the look on his face that he wholeheartedly trusted his captain and believed he was withholding information for a good reason. Joanna liked Captain Kirk, she truly did, but she wouldn’t be her father’s daughter if she didn’t speak her mind, even if that meant questioning her captain’s actions.

She opened her mouth to continue her pursuit, only for the familiar ping of a PADD message tone to interrupt her. Pavel’s attention was brought back to his PADD as he swiped away his incoming message, not even bothering to read it. It was only then that her attention was brought to the number in the corner of his screen which indicated how many unread messages the man had acquired – 2,396. 

“Jesus,” Joanna exclaimed, she didn’t think she’d ever seen one that high. “Do you ever read your messages?” 

“No. I’m terrible,” he blushed sheepishly, embarrassed at his lack of commitment.

Joanna instantly began to wonder what all the messages might have been about, and who they may have been from. There was no doubt in her mind that a good selection of those messages were from girls trying to get his attention, the thought of which made her instantly feel protective over him, almost as if she felt threatened someone was trying to steal her property. 

Though, she knew that was pretty stupid of her, considering he messaged her all the time. It was exhilarating to know that she was part of that large number and he replied to her every time.

“But you message me all the time?” Joanna prompted, knowing that it offered him a chance to say something romantic.

Chekov, living up to the womaniser reputation he had gathered, rose to the challenge, a smirk appearing on his lips. 

“Well,” his eyebrows lifted suggestively. “I have priorities.”

“You do, do you?”

“I do…” Chekov paused, inspecting her closely like he was deliberating something.

Her arms folded across her chest as she stared back at him, daring him to make the first move since he was the one who was playing hard to get. His eyes scoured her body, his mind very clearly on her, and only her. She shivered in anticipation as he licked his lips slightly, his intent obvious.

“Why am I even bothering to look at this when you are here?” He mumbled, throwing his PADD to the side and moving closer to her in an instant.

_Finally._

There was no prelude or teasing, instead he went straight in for the kiss, his arm resting on the top of the couch behind her. This kiss was much harder than the others, the need for each other that they had been dancing around all evening well and truly coming to the forefront of their minds. Instantly, her hands grasped at his shirt, pulling him flush against her in a way that must have been uncomfortable but was so satisfying nonetheless. His mouth began to pay particular attention to her bottom lip, causing an unladylike groan from her which she was past caring about.

His free hand had found its way to her back and was exerting a certain amount of pressure there that was prompting her to move. For one of the first times ever, Joanna was happy to go along with his plan, eager to explore just what she was suggesting. She steadied herself on his shoulders as she moved onto his lap, straddling his legs so that there was not a single part of them which wasn’t touching the other. 

He was already getting hard. 

_Fuck_. 

Their mouths parted in an urgent fashion, their tongues meeting for the first time and making quick work of getting to know each other. Her hands travelled to his hair, massaging his scalp as she pulled him closer to her, earning her a groan from deep within him, the sound of which made her heart race.

When his hands moved down to touch her bare legs, caressing them with his warm hands, Joanna was sure she stopped breathing completely. His hands on her thighs produced that fluttering feeling in her stomach, making her hips move against him in a way that caused them both to moan.

She wanted him, so much, too much even, and there was no denying he felt the same about her. Joanna scolded herself knowing that they could have been doing this all the time if she had not been such a bitch to him. Quite frankly, she thought she could happily do it for the rest of her life, she wanted her entire existence to be him, she wanted him that much. 

He pulled away from her lips, leaving a trail of hot kisses across her jaw as he made his way to her neck, finding a spot under her ear that made her whimper. 

“I actually do need to do work, you know,” Joanna gasped playfully, her hips pressing against him.

“Da – yeah, that can wait,” he muttered in her neck, his accent thicker than ever before. “It won’t take long.” 

“That’s not something I’d boast about,” Joanna giggled, dropping a hand to his chest to explore the feeling of him underneath her hands.

Chekov pulled away from her suddenly, looking up at her, his breath falling heavy against her face. 

“Oh, Jo,” he stared at her, feigning a serious look that made him completely irresistible to her. “I’d never have sex before marriage.”

Joanna laughed aloud at that, producing a warm chuckle from the man below her. As her laughter died down, she noticed Pavel staring at her with such intensity that it almost made her gasp. His hands dragged slowly up to the back of her dress, taking their time to appreciate the outline of her body. Their eyes never left each other’s, a silent agreement flowing between them that there were no games being played, that they both wanted this.

His fingers made light work of the fastenings of her dress, pulling the fabric to the side to give himself a good view of her shoulders. Immediately he lent forward to kiss her lightly on her collarbone, his lips dragging across her skin in a way that Joanna had only dreamt about before.

She sighed at the feeling, her eyes closing and her head falling back as she gave him better access to her, revelling at his touch. She had to steady herself, her arms wrapped around his neck or she swore she was going to collapse. His hands were all over her body now, desperately clawing at her in a move to make them even closer than it was physically possible for them to be. 

“Jo - it’s dad.” 

Her father’s voice rang out through the air around them from her communicator, causing Chekov to freeze his movements at her skin. 

Joanna groaned – honestly, that man had impeccable timing. 

“I need to get that,” she muttered, pulling away from Chekov only to reach over to where she had left her communicator earlier.

Joanna barely noticed the mischievous grin that appeared on his face as she pulled her communicator to her ear, wondering why the hell her dad was trying to contact her so late in the evening.

He had obviously heard her communicator channel open as he did not wait for a response before he continued. 

“Jo – where are you? I just came to your dorm.”

Pavel decided that right then was the best time to return to kissing her neck, his hands very firmly placed on her behind, holding her in place.

 _Great._

“Erm,” she tried to send Chekov a warning glare which was quite hard considering their positions. “I’m busy?”

“You’re with him, aren’t ya?” 

She could hear the disappointment in his voice. He knew exactly what they were up to. 

“If by ‘him’ you mean Chekov, then yeah,” she replied nervously, not wanting to get into another awkward conversation with her father about the man.

The sound of his name made Chekov’s attack of her weaken. His head snapped up to meet hers, his eyes wide with fright. At least he was still scared of her dad, she thought, it would certainly stop him from playing some of his games on her. 

“You in his room?” His father groaned, she could just imagine the childish frown upon his face. 

“God, Dad – I’m just reading through the results from earlier.” 

She had to lie, she wasn’t exactly going to tell her father that she was currently straddling the navigator half undressed… 

“Yeah, about that.” The tone of his voice indicated he was worried, and the shift in their conversation could be sensed by Chekov, who completely stopped everything he was doing to her. “I’ve been looking through it too… The toxins must be synthetic, they are too ordered, too perfect, and I haven’t a darn clue what they are meant to do.” 

Pavel was looking at her questioningly, and Joanna met his gaze, confirming all thoughts he had about what her father might have been saying to her. 

“We were coming to the same conclusion,” she muttered, anticipating what her dad was going to say next. 

“Can you come back to the lab? I think I might need a fresh pair of eyes on this case…I’d say goodnight to Chekov if I were you. It’s gonna be a long night for us both.”

With that, her father closed off the channel, leaving her and the man below her with just their heavy breathing for company. From the sad smile that appeared at his lips, he knew what was coming.

“I have to go.” 

Her words fell heavy between them as Joanna reached up to pull her dress on straight, earning a disappointed nod of understanding from him. 

Joanna sighed, looking down at him. “I’m sorry.”

His hands flew up in the air comically, realising her from his grip.

“I think I might need another shower… and a cold one at that,” he chuckled, the disappointment in his voice poking through. 

Joanna moved off his lap onto the couch next to him, deliberately putting off trying to stand up for a moment as she didn’t think her legs would take her weight right then. She gathered up her PADD and research quickly, trying her hardest not to sneak a glance over at the man sitting next to her, especially not down at his lap. Joanna blushed at the thought, suddenly shy despite the fact just moments ago she was letting him undress her. 

Pavel stood up with her as she moved towards the door, his arm grabbing her free hand as she tried to make a quick escape from him. 

“Come back later,” he pleaded with her, evidently not wanting their night to end there.

While Joanna certainly found the offer tempting, she knew it was a bad idea. God knows what time she would be done and it was not fair on him to keep him up waiting for her when she would probably be too tired to do anything when she finished.

“Pav, it’ll be late knowing my dad. He’s like a dog with a bone,” Joanna warned him, smirking slightly at his constant pursuit of her. 

“Come anyway, I’ll leave the door unlocked,” he pouted, throwing her the most pathetic look he could muster.

Joanna chuckled, rolling her eyes at his begging. “You have an early shift tomorrow, you know if I come back we will be up for even longer.” 

“I promise you I won’t touch you.” 

His words made her falter. Joanna hadn’t even considered that he might want her there for other reasons, she hadn’t realised that might have come out of their agreement at all. 

“Then why bother?” She eyed him curiously, unsure what he was implying.

“I just don’t fancy being alone tonight,” he shrugged before a wicked smile began to tease its way onto his lips. “But… I suppose if you’re not interested then I could always call –“ 

“I’ll come.” 

Joanna didn’t even think before she spoke, spurred on by jealousy at the thought of him talking to someone else.

“Good.” 

Then, he beamed at her, content in her answer, before closing the gap between them one last time and sealing her lips with his. It was only a faint reminder of the kisses that had come before it, gentle and full of finality that only came from a goodbye kiss. 

He left her speechless - again. She worried that it was going to become a habit. She didn’t understand how in the hell he had managed to get her to agree to going back to him after she saw her father. The fact that he had managed to change her mind so quickly unnerved her deeply.

How Joanna managed to stumble out of his room despite her shock, she did not know. 


	16. Whispers in the dark, steal a kiss and you'll break your heart

Initially, her father had frowned at her suggestion of Chekov and Scotty’s theory. Though, Joanna believed that frown had been solely from hearing Chekov’s name and not anything to do with their hypothesise and that became most evident from the fact that her dad instantly began to start backing up their claim seconds later.

It made complete sense.

There was no data to be found in the bones, nothing they could pull from them. If anything, they acted like fake bones, the presence of dead cells being the only indication that they once belonged to someone living. There were no identifying marks, no evidence of broken bones or fractures, no genetic defects or anything. Even with the medicine of the day and all the amazing stuff they could do, there was only so much Federation doctors could do for patients, somethings just remained and these bones had none of them. Neither her nor her father would believe that out of the six people who they found on the ship, none of them had anything on them that helped identify them – even their teeth were straight out of a textbook.

Now whether the toxin was a cleaning agent for the bones or something else, neither of them had the equipment to determine that. They had run all the tests they could in the medical labs, and one of the few things they could confirm was that it certainly wasn’t a disease, and if it was, it wasn’t within the Federation’s knowledge. 

The only thing they had settled on for certain was that there was no way the age of the bones matched the date provided in the ship. With the background radiation of the planet, along with the environmental elements of the shuttle, there was no way the bones would be little more than lumps of dust if they had been there the entire time. Either the calendar broke or was impacted by the crash or something more complicated had happened, something she didn’t even want to speculate about. Knowing their luck, it would be the latter, more sinister outcome that would be the truth.

After hours of running tests over and over again, some standard, others experimental, and nothing giving them any answers, the two of them had agreed that they would need to pass this onto the ship’s science team in the hopes that one of them may be able to uncover something remarkable about the toxin. In a way, it was almost as if the toxin was making itself undetectable too, and that thought alone made Joanna incredibly nervous.

That, and the fact she was going to return to Chekov’s room that night.

Joanna still didn’t understand the logic behind his request and her acceptance. It was like they had suddenly found themselves in a committed relationship, completely dependent on each other and couldn’t stand to be away from each other longer than they were required to. 

And Joanna absolutely hated it.

She hated everything about it. How she had just agreed with little persuasion. How he had even suggested it in the first place despite them only being associated for a matter of days at that. How she wasn’t quite sure if he meant what he said about it only being for sleep, and that she was somewhat disappointed at his promise.

What made her most spiteful was the fact she was happy to do it, to go sleep in his bed like some long-term couple, and not care how complicated that made things between them. She’d do it every night if he asked.

Once her father had called it a night, deeming that there was nothing else they could possibly do without more samples or better understanding (in fact, it wouldn’t surprise her if her dad made the captain turn the ship around to go collect the other bodies found at the other shuttles on the planet), Joanna walked to her dorm without question, and immediately changed into her sleep clothes and packed a bag for everything she’d need that night. She even left her bra on, something she never wore to sleep in, just in case something was to happen between them – she always thought that was sexier than the alternative, or at least it made her feel that way. She stopped at the bathroom she and the surrounding rooms shared only to brush her teeth, choosing to take the risk and keep her makeup on, praying that she didn’t wake up with some ungodly Satan inspired look in the morning. Then, she was off.

She knew she was incredibly lucky that it was considered the middle of the night on the ship for it meant that the hallways were deserted as she walked towards his room. While people worked on the ship all day round, it was Federation standard for the ship to maintain some sort of normality for psychological benefits, thus most people worked in the day, with only the essential workers working through the night. Unfortunately for them, that meant the majority of the ship was asleep and not watching Joanna McCoy walk the corridors in her pyjamas and a bag of clothes she had packed in a hurry. The sight alone would have been enough to set the gossips’ tongues wagging for a week.

Before she knew it, she had arrived at his room without being spotted, something which she considered to be a miracle. Despite the ship being asleep, there was no guarantee that no one would be walking the decks, and her appearance would definitely gain their attention. Mix that with the rumours about her and Chekov that had been circling the ship and people would reach the correct conclusion – and that would ultimately get back to her dad. While he was certainly aware of the two of them, Joanna had enough common sense to not rub her new relationship (if she could call it that) in his face, there was no way he would like that, and it would only make things more awkward.

True to his word, Pavel had left his door unlocked, and she made quick work of hopping into his room and locking the door behind her, anxious to get out of the public area. The room was in darkness, the only light peeking through the gaps in his window shutter from the ship’s engines, but it was enough for her to make out the sleeping form of the navigator in his bed. He was tucked into the side nearest the wall, a large gap between him and the edge of the bed. 

Joanna smiled – he had left a spot just for her.

Moving automatically, Joanna threw her bag down onto the couch, slipping off her shoes with a sigh. It was 3am, and though her father had given her the morning off to sleep in, she was desperate to get at least some sleep that night. She’d never been good at sleeping in the same bed as someone, regardless of whether she was attracted to them or not, and Joanna doubted she would get over it that night. Her only hope was that her body was so exhausted that it would just give in and let her sleep, and that she could get a couple of hours sleep before Pavel kicked her out in the morning.

As she moved towards the bed, she got a better look at him under the sheets – Pavel was well and truly out for the count. He was on his side, his brow furrowed like he was still thinking about things in his sleep, and his curls were already sticking up at odd angles from moving across the pillows. Joanna hated herself for it, but she found it annoyingly cute – and she never thought anything was cute.

He was quiet too. Not that she expected him to be a snorer, but she was still happy to hear he wasn’t going to be an annoying sleeping companion. Well, at least in that regard.

As Joanna made her way towards the bed, unsure how best to get in without waking the man, Chekov started to stir, making her dilemma come to an end before it had really started. 

“ _Privyet,_ ” he mumbled, a rouge hand coming up to rub his face.

His eyes were held close with some force, a frown appearing on his face, surprised to be awoken despite him being the one to order her here. His eyes blinked open after a moment, his gaze focusing on her and registering just who was standing in his room. Pavel smiled affectionately over to her, before settling in again into his pillow.

Joanna returned his smile. “Hey.”

Arms hidden under the fabric, Chekov pulled back the sheets closest to her, as good of an invitation as any to get in next to him. Without hesitation, Joanna slipped into the warmth, laying her head on the pillow across from him. Her attention was drawn immediately to the energy radiating from his body, he was just inches in front of her, his aura basking her in a comforting feeling which was tainted with hints of anxiety.

“Anything new?” Pavel mumbled, his eyes half closed but focused on her.

Joanna laid stiff as a board facing him, unsure what the procedure was for sharing his bed – would he want her to stay put? Was he a cuddler? Joanna thought about what other girls had done before her who were in the same position, and how she would compare to those others. 

“My dad thinks you guys might be right. We can’t get nothing from the bones, so we are gonna pass it onto the biochem lab to try and put together a profile of the toxins,” Joanna whispered, scared if she spoke any louder, she would disturb his peace. “We do think the age of the bones does not match the date from the shuttle.”

Pavel frowned, attempting to consider the new information in his sleep affected brain. “Oh.”

Joanna let out a nervous chuckle at his reaction. “Yeah, that just adds to it all.”

She began to fiddle with the sleeve of her shirt as the two of them fell into silence, staring at each other, both questioning just what had happened to get them there. Just the day before, they had only kissed twice, and now she had found herself in her bed with no indication they were going to do anything other than just sleep. The whole situation was very bizarre.

Pavel, sensing her discomfort at being in his bed, inched his way closer to her, a gentle smile upon his tired face that had the reassuring effect he had been hoping for.

“Let’s forget about it,” he reasoned with her. “Sleep.”

With that, he carefully placed a warm hand on her waist, the weight a light comfort and instantly relaxed her. It was as if that one movement signified to her that everything was going to be okay, that she was more than welcome to be there. His eyes drew closed as he settled back into his pillow, content to fall back asleep. Joanna, however, wanted so badly to see his eyes once again, desperate to feel the heat from their stare – she didn’t know what had come over her, but she knew something felt incomplete.

“Pav,” Joanna roused him.

“Hm?”

His eyes were still closed, his breathing getting deeper once again.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, her voice cutting through the silence between them.

Then, his eyes opened briefly, registering her words before they closed again, ready for sleep. Sensing just what she was after despite not knowing it herself, he moved closer to her, his hand at her waist continuing further around her back, their legs interwinding giving her more of the contact that she was craving.

“Night Jo,” he murmured, sleep making his voice barely audible. 

Joanna sighed, content at the closeness of their bodies. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the steady beats of his breathing as she tried her hardest to allow sleep to overcome her mind.

* * *

The sound of ringing startled her out of her slumber, causing an instant groan from Joanna at the sudden awakening. Turns out, she could fall asleep next to Pavel Chekov fairly easily, a thought she didn’t even want to begin to unpack – that never happened. Ever.

“Jesus. Turn that off,” she grumbled, her face pressing into something solid.

His back...

Joanna’s eyes blinked opened at that realisation, her forehead was resting between his shoulder blades giving her a good look at the shirt he had worn to bed.

Then, Chekov began to move, much spritelier than anyone she’d ever seen in a morning, startling her.

“Sorry!” He exclaimed, reaching up to the shelf on the wall above his bed, turning his alarm clock off as fast as possible.

When the demonic sound was silenced, Chekov fell back onto the mattress, settling back into the bed. Her arm was thrown around his chest, her hand resting close to his. Next to her, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took, his heat relaxing her body despite the whirlwind of thoughts that was beginning to form in her brain. Joanna closed her eyes once more, her mind racing.

She was well and truly tucked into the man, her legs behind his, her chest parallel to his back. Never in her life had Joanna been the bigger spoon, and she certainly didn’t expect to have started then. 

“I need to go get ready.”

His fingers weaved into hers as he spoke, giving her hand a squeeze, holding her in place. In spite of his words, Pavel made no sign of moving anytime soon, content to just lay there in the peaceful silence of the room with her next to him. Joanna, however, was feeling everything other than peace.

She was happy at being close to him, relieved at having been able to sleep that night, annoyed at her awakening way before it was time to, but mainly she was confused. Confused that she had even stayed the night in the first place, confused that she actually managed to fall asleep next to someone despite always struggling, confused that she was feeling all those different emotions at the same time, yet didn’t feel the desire to move away from him anytime soon.

Instead, Joanna was happy just to lay there, her arm around him, her mind racing. At the back of her mind, she knew she never wanted to sleep anywhere else, yet she refused to toy with that idea until she got some coffee in her. 

“I’m not needed until 12,” she muttered into his back, realising she would have to get up with him despite not being needed for a few hours at least.

With a sigh, Pavel began to move again, sitting up on the bed causing her arm to fall from around him. Joanna’s eyes opened at the movement, watching him meticulously as his body woke up. He certainly looked more awake than most first thing in the morning, but the tell-tale signs of sleep were still present. His eyes, while open wide, had a disordered look behind them, as if his body was awake before his brain was. Not to mention his hair was sticking up even worse than it had been when she had arrived there that night, his curls going in every direction with no logic to it at all.

He gave her a quick smile before moving over her to get out of the bed, his warmth immediately was missed by her. As he stood up, he stumbled slightly, making his way around his room in the darkness. Joanna turned on her back in his absence, spreading out her body as she determined to fall back asleep until she would have to leave. She could get ready back in her own room, the least she could do for her own wellbeing was sleep while he got ready himself.

Chekov must have noted her stance on the matter.

“Go back to sleep,” she heard him whisper, her body already succumbing to the sleep she so desperately wanted.

She was roused once more by a weight on the bed next to her, and her eyes flew open to see Pavel looking down at her, dressed and ready for the day ahead. The room was still in darkness, meaning she had to squint to see him properly, but despite the dimness of the room, she could see that familiar smile upon his face.

“You leaving?” She mumbled, her voice not yet ready to be used again.

He was sitting on the bed next to her, his hand resting at the other side of her, the smell of his usual cologne met her nose. With his free hand, he pulled the sheets up around her, tucking her in a way that told her she was not going to be leaving the room anytime soon.

“Yeah,” Pavel nodded, the smile still lingering on his lips. “You can stay here as long as you need – take a shower, play some games whatever.”

The thought of staying in his room without him was an odd one, but she would never turn down the opportunity to use a shower that hadn’t already been used by a few others that day. It wasn’t that the ship was unclean – it was always cleaned to perfection, it just would be nice not to be constricted by time and to shower without the thought of the people who had used it before her. That was the issue with sharing the bathrooms with the other cadets and ensigns on the ship: there were other people.

“Mmm a private shower,” Joanna moaned, breaking out into a grin at the thought.

Pavel chuckled at that, his eyes bright at the site of her below him. Before she had time to wake up any further, he was leaning down to her, his face inching closer to hers.

Joanna, despite all the things that had surprised her about that night, definitely didn’t expect to have a good morning kiss off the man, not in the slightest.

The kiss was gentle and tame, the taste of his toothpaste hit her lips. She didn’t even want to think about what her lips must taste like – he didn’t seem to care though. Instead, he leaned into her more thoroughly, his weight shifting onto her torso, reminding her of their unfinished business from the night before. Lazily, she threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him even closer to her and increasing the intensity of the kiss tenfold.

Pavel could be a few minutes late. She was sure the captain wouldn’t mind.

Her father, on the other hand, had other plans...

The familiar communicator ringtone rang through the room, followed by the voice of her father.

“Dad it’s Jo.”

Joanna was certain that man had a tracking device on her or something, he always knew the best moment to call her, and it was always when she was kissing him.

“God what now?” Joanna groaned, throwing Pavel off of her a little too roughly for it to be uncomfortable.

She rolled out of bed, clambering up and across the room to where she had left her communicator, the sound making the device much easier to find in dark.

“Hello?!”

Her dad let out a laugh at her angry greeting.

“Sorry to do this after last night but we are needed on the next away mission. Meet the captain and the rest of the landing party in his ready room at 9.”

Pavel chose that moment to turn the lights on in his room, the sudden intrusion of light in the room made her almost cry out.

“Oh god,” she whined, not sure if it was about his news or the light. 

She could hear Pavel on his communicator at the other side of the room from her, and from the drabs that she heard, he was having a very similar conversation to her.

“I know… Try and get some coffee down you.” From the bitterness in his voice, it was clear her dad shared her feelings on the early wake up.

“I’ll try,” she sighed, closing her communicator and ending her conversation.

She dropped her communicator onto the couch, running her hands through her messy hair in a bid to make it somewhat neater. He was just finishing up his own conversation with what sounded like the captain, his eyes on her as he spoke. At seeing his gaze, Joanna became very conscious about what she looked like.

She was still in her issued pyjamas, her makeup more than likely rubbed off her face and there was no way she was up to her usual standard. Though, from the way he continued to look at her as he talked on his communicator, he didn’t seem to care at all. She supposed that was a side effect of being such a womaniser – he didn’t care how they looked at all, as long as he had them.

Pavel gave her a quick smile as he finished off on his call.

“You coming, too?” Joanna asked him as he moved closer to her.

He gave her a quick nod, halting in front of her with a sigh. They both knew they had a long day ahead of them - there was no such thing as a simple away mission, it almost always went awry in some way or another. After the night she had had, it was far from what she needed, and from the empathetic look on his face, he knew that too.

“I’m going to go grab some tea, would you like something?” He beamed at her positively, excited to be of some help to her.

Joanna threw her head back with a moan at the thought of some caffeine.

“I could murder a coffee,” she whimpered, so grateful for him in that moment.

“Okay!”

A hand of his brushed against her arm, giving her a playful frown at her tiredness. His adorableness made a large grin spread across her face, and she closed the gap between them with a giggle. Her hands cupped his face, pulling him to her and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“I’ll be back soon. You get ready,” he muttered as they pulled away, neither of them noticing the sudden domesticity between them.

“Yes boss,” she saluted him playfully, pushing him out of the way as she went to get ready. 

It was only when she closed the door to the bathroom that she realised how messed up and awkward that scene between them was – the whole night had been the same. Her smile dropped from her face in an instant. They weren’t together, they weren’t a couple, they shouldn’t be acting like that but she had gone alone with it regardless, and not thought anything of it. 

This wasn’t her, she didn't act like that and certainly not with someone she had only recently gotten together with.

She was not his girlfriend, she needed to stop acting like it, she had more respect for herself than to do that. That, or she was going to get her heartbroken, but at least she got to go along with him for the ride. At this point, Joanna wasn’t sure which one she preferred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... Is Joanna getting cold feet?
> 
> Ive more or less got the rest of this edited now so be on the lookout for the final chapters!


	17. The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based off of the TOS episode, The Apple. 
> 
> I've taken some artistic license to adapt the plot to fit in with this story - this is set in the Kelvin Universe so I guess it works! Regardless, I'd definitely check out the episode if you have the time, Chekov spends the entire episode trying to get some despite all the drama going on, and its, as per usual, very entertaining.

It was around 10:30 on the ship’s clock when they materialised down onto the planetoid, and instantly they all were amazed at the amount of flora and fauna that surrounded them. It was a completely different environment to the barren wasteland of her last away mission, and from the reaction of the rest of the more seasoned crew, the opportunity to be in such a lush environment was enough to make them become like giddy school children.

Joining them on the mission was the captain, Mr. Spock, six security members Joanna didn’t know the names of, and a couple of science officers who she knew specialised in botany. Then there was her father… and they were stuck there for God knows how long. 

Her, Pavel, and her dad, stuck on a planet with no means of escape... the chances of that not ending in a disaster were slim at best.

Supposedly, it was the mission that Kirk had been sent from Starbase 12 to do, a routine stop that was assigned to them as they were the only ones that could do it. Joanna didn't believe this in the slightest - for one, it didn’t explain why Kirk had been called to this meeting in person when they could do it through communications, but they had a job to do, Joanna could worry about that another day.

Their mission was to uncover the source of the energy drain that occurred to any ship that came close to the planetoid, the ship's finding themselves almost immediately out of power the moment they came within a mile of the surface. The Enterprise, being one of the biggest ships in the fleet, had enough power to get close enough to the plantoid for them to beam down safely, but it would have to go to a nearby outpost to refuel and maintain the core almost immediately following it, and it would take them at minimum 23 hours (per Chekov’s calculations) before they could return to pick them up. 

On top of that, the captain had warned them that there were some similarities to their last away mission, and that they needed extra security just in case the two were linked in any way. For starters, there were no signs of life on the surface, just like previously, yet there were some strange indications on the scans which implied something was there. Then there was the source of the energy draining which seemed too powerful to just be a random occurrence. Remembering the disaster that was the last mission, everyone on the crew felt the risk of their mission, knowing that if it was a trap, there was no way they were escaping anytime soon. But they were there to do a job, and everyone felt compelled to see it through to the best of their abilities.

So far, however, there appeared to be no immediate signs of danger – just plants, and a load of them at that. At least the nervous nature of the crew had dissipated with seeing how beautiful the environment was.

Despite her father’s presence on the mission, Pavel was hovering around her as they began their readings on the planetoid, and his presence was beginning to annoy her. It wasn’t that she disliked him being there, per say, in fact she really liked having him there usually. It was just that he was always there – they had gone from speaking only occasionally to being with each other all the time, and they weren’t even together like that. That morning alone, while lovely, had been enough to send red flags up in her mind. 

She was not his girlfriend. He didn’t need to act like she was and she was determined to put the brakes on whatever was going on whatever was going on between them before it got worse. They had agreed on ‘no strings attached’, they needed to start acting like it and the fact that he was so adamant to ignore it, and she was so quick to agree to it, had painted an uncomfortable feeling in her mind.

Trouble was, it was hard to tell him to stop following her like a lost puppy when they were stuck on a planet with her father. That, and Joanna desperately needed to find a way of saying it to him without offending him or breaking things off. She wanted them to continue, she really did, but it could be at the pace they were going without them coming to another understanding. Plus, Joanna had seen enough of Chekov's wrath to know he felt things, be it passion or anger, irrationally. There was no way she could have a normal conversation with the man about it without it going horribly wrong. No, she would have to think very carefully about her words, as well as take the timing of their delivery carefully.

“Bones – take Chekov and Jo, and half of the security team and head that way. Stay close, and stay on comms.” The captain ordered them, the look on his face filled with concern.

Despite the flurry of excitement throughout the crew, the captain was deeply worried about something. Joanna had always seen him so optimistic, it was a stark contrast whenever she saw otherwise. This mission in particular seemed to be weighing on his conscience heavily, and there was certainly something different about this one that made it a lot worse than the others. There was much she didn’t know about the situation, and she doubted her dad or Mr. Spock even knew half of it.

Kirk’s attention was drawn to her, the serious look on his face made her nervous. She was so used to seeing him so jovial and warm around her, and she hated that whatever was going on with him had transferred to how she treated her.

“Mr. Chekov, Bones Jr.” He gestured for Chekov to come over to where he was standing by her dad, making the Russian look very apprehensive.

There was no doubt what he wanted to talk about, there could only be one reason why the captain had singled out the two of them. That, and the smug smirk that was on her dad’s face next to him said it all.

When the two of them were close, the captain threw them each a glance, before a salacious smile appeared on his lips, his mischievousness not quite meeting his eyes.

“We are here to do a sweep of the planet, not to conduct experiments into human biology… Look, I know there’s something going on between you, and whatever you do in your free time is none of my business, but I’m trusting you two to be professional. Don’t make me regret it.”

Joanna wanted the planet to swallow her then and there. Beside her, Pavel was blushing profoundly, responding to his commanding officer like any good crewmate should, his eyes lingering on her father to gage his reaction to the public outing. To be called out by her captain that way was embarrassing, she understood where he was coming from – they had spent a portion of their last away mission, however brief that was, kissing each other, and the captain knew that. But he seemed to be talking to them just to make them squirm, his orders light-hearted and carried no weight to them. She didn’t appreciate it at all.

Kirk looked over at Bones, who had been standing with the biggest grin on his face at the caution, the captain, however, did not seem to share his enthusiasm. She knew what the captain was thinking, for she was thinking the exact same thing. There was no way her dad, Chekov and her could go the entire away mission without something becoming awkward between them. Her dad was too grumpy and protective, Pavel was too intense, and she was too stubborn for nothing to happen between them. At the very least, Jo expected a very awkward conversation about not breaking his little girl’s heart, something which she did not wish to be privy to if it was going to happen. Thus, the captain sending them off together was a recipe for disaster and each of them knew it.

The captain, despite the weight that was clearly upon his shoulders, raised an eyebrow, amused at his orchestration of the awkward encounter. “You three _can_ work together, right?” 

By then most of the crew were looking over at them, and while they probably couldn’t hear what they were discussing, she was certain even the oblivious to human emotion Mr. Spock had some inkling of what was going on. Joanna found the whole thing infuriating, and if he wasn’t her superior, she knew she would have said something to him.

For her, the annoyance didn’t stem from the public shaming – she could take a joke better than most people, instead it was the implication that they would be anything other than professional that annoyed her. So, she kissed him one time on mission when they had nothing else to do, that shouldn’t be a mark on her record that would deem her to be unprofessional in any way. She may not like working with both her father and her – whatever Chekov was to her – at the same time, but she was more than prepared to suck it up and deal with it. 

Her mother had raised her to be a hard worker, and Joanna already knew there was people aboard who assumed she had got her position there solely due to her father. Sure, he probably had something to do with it, but she worked hard to get there. And now her relationship with Pavel was going to get thrown on there too.

That, and she had her father's temper. Though, Joanna could never tell how much of her reaction to things were due to that or whether she had a genuine reason to be angry.

“Jim,” her father growled at the captain before she got a chance to chastise him herself, the grin from seeing them being called out had quickly disappeared now he was also in the firing line.

“I’m just checking,” he grinned, throwing his hands up playfully.

Kirk flashed them all one of his signature smirks before he left them all standing awkwardly in his wake.

“Come on guys,” her dad shepherded them away with a grimace on his face.

Joanna took solace in the fact that whatever she was feeling, her dad was sure to be feeling ten times worse than her. And Chekov too for that matter. She was close with both of them, the middleman in the situation, the two of them, however, were the two parties at odd here. Her feelings must have paled in comparison to theirs.

They had gone from colleagues who only really spoke professionally to some weird father pseudo son-in-law dynamic that all southern fathers dreaded in a matter of days. It was awkward, and she was the cause. She knew it was only a matter of time before one of them made it more awkward, and she would put money on it being her father who never had a filter and always let his thoughts known.

Off they went, scanning the nearby area as they walked, trying their hardest to pinpoint the cause of the energy drain to ships’ power sources and so far they had discovered nothing except for some interesting looking plants. As predicted, they were only minutes away from the captain when her dad decided it was time to make things more awkward.

“So, Chekov… tell me about yourself. What do you do?” Her dad asked gracelessly, and she almost groaned at the stupidity of his question.

Joanna’s eyes caught Pavel’s, and she had to chuckle at the utterly confused look on his face. His eyes were wide, his mind evidently racing over how exactly he could answer that question. Her father terrified him, he had told her that much himself, and he had felt that way before anything had even occurred between the two of them.

“Erm, we’ve worked together for about 8 years?” Chekov replied uneasily, uncertain what her father was meaning.

“I know that,” he grumbled, not happy to be called out on his foolishness though Joanna didn't know how else Chekov could approach it. “I mean otherwise… outside of work.”

Chekov made an exasperated sound at the thought of where to start. They all knew that sleeping around would not be a good enough answer to give right then. He looked over at her again, begging her to intervene and alleviate the awkwardness of the situation, but Joanna didn’t feel like it. He needed to deal with her dad sometime, especially if he wanted to keep on doting on her all the time.

“You’re on your own,” she laughed, walking in front of the two of them and let them draw the battlelines they so desperately needed to establish.

 _Men_.

In her experience whenever they had an issue with each other, they needed just to have it out and be straightforward with each other. They seemed to be wired differently when it came to solving issues than her sex, less expressive with their feelings and more in favour of straight chat or a good fist fight. It had been that way for thousands of years and, no matter how progressive Earth's society became about gender, it appeared to be staying that way. Whatever issues the two of them had just needed to be ironed out between them, and there was nothing anyone else could do to help them.

At least her dad was trying and giving him a chance, she’d give him that.

Behind her she could hear the two of them continuing on their awkward icebreaker conversation, each of them trying their hardest to find something in common to talk about. Chekov had resolved to anxiously chatting away about running, the way he always seemed to ramble whenever he got nervous. Quietly, she wondered if he would ever be able to speak normally to her father, though she doubted it. Despite her concerns over how fast they were moving, Joanna was quite content to let him chat away getting to know her father, for it meant that she could have some time when his attention was away from her.

Instead, Joanna allowed herself to concentrate on the work at hand, to stop worrying about him and to actually do her job as the captain had encouraged her to do. There was definitely a lack of tension in the air like with the last away mission, and she felt comfortable drifting away from the group, feeling that there was no threat to befall on them anytime soon.

Despite the commonalities between the shuttles case and the planet, Joanna was certain the source of the power drain was not connected to the other mystery. It was just a hunch, but she could tell in her gut that there was something separate about this mission, though while she felt comfortable right then, she was not going to let her guard down.

Thus, the moment she heard a noise in the distance, Joanna’s hand flew straight to her phaser, ready to shoot in moments. Without thinking about what to do, she instinctively grabbed the attention of the security crew and the two men behind her, who broke off their conversation about the merits of Georgia and Russia to rush to her side.

They advanced through the greenery towards the edge of the foliage where a row of plants resembling earth trees stood, behind which they could see movements.

“There’s someone there?” Joanna probed her father, hoping that as the superior officer he would have some idea of what to do.

Her dad took a moment to think, then he gestured to the closest security officer to go ahead and take a look. He moved closer to Chekov, a determined look in his eyes. 

“You got anything?” He pointed at the tricorder in Chekov’s hands.

Joanna never thought she’d see the day that she’d see the two of them working together effortlessly, especially not any time soon. But she certainly wasn’t going to discourage it – not when there was an unknown danger on the horizon.

Chekov shook his head at her father, his face filled with concern. 

That was worrying, if they weren’t alive, what were they?

“They don’t have any signs of life?” Joanna urged them to confirm the information, refusing to believe what they are saying.

Both her father and Pavel threw her a helpless look, an understanding going between them all that they needed to be careful and work together to solve the issue.

“What are we getting ourselves into?” Her dad muttered, his signature frown on his face.

The security officer they had sent to scout out the area returned, his face pale and panicked. They all looked at him expectedly, unsure just what exactly he was going to come out with.

“There’s a village, doctor.” The redshirt stuttered, his eyes conveying all of his worry with just one look. “Humanoids.”

Without losing a second, her dad flipped open the communicator next to her, hailing the captain in an instant.

“Captain? We have a village here.”

“A what?!” The captain's voice from the communicator was heard through the clearing.

It was at that very moment that a number of unknown creatures appeared on the treeline, their bodies pale and their eyes wide. They looked like them, though slightly more naked, the only distinctive features being the two clear antennas coming out of their head above their ears. Joanna hated herself for it, but she felt herself drawing in closer to Pavel, almost as if she wanted his protection despite not needing it, and she was not appreciative of her own instincts. He was not her boyfriend, she did not need a man to protect her, yet she felt herself gravitating towards him regardless.

Her dad, luckily for her, was still on top of the situation and not freaking out about something trivial like she was. “A village, Jim, with humanoid people and no readings of life – oh god they are coming over. Hurry up.”

* * *

The creatures called themselves the Vaalians and were a complete medical mystery to her and her father. They appeared to be living beings, they bled, they breathed, and they functioned like most other species they knew. But there was not a single life signal that appeared on any of their equipment. This anomaly seemed to be explained by the mechanical omniscience entity that governed over the planetoid that they were told was the creator of their species – the Vaal. As far as she understood it, this made the Vaalians a hybrid of a species and a machine, which would perhaps explain their unusual readings.

Upon a gong, the Vaalians would move to feed their master, completely surrendering themselves into the master-servant dynamic that appeared to keep the master alive. That, and the large amount of energy the creator sucked out of nearby ships and stars. There was no doubt that this being was the cause of the energy loss of Federation ships, their devices confirmed as much, but for now, they were willing to let it be, seeing no cause to attack the master just for needing to exist.

The Vaalians, however, were a weird bunch, their whole being surrounded serving the Vaal, a thing she hadn’t seen in person but had been informed by the captain it looked like a papier-mache snake head made by a ten year-old (she supposed not everything in the universe had to look impressive). They lived to serve, and had a very weird situation about touching each other that Joanna didn’t even want to try and understand. They couldn’t touch other beings, nor harm them, and they firmly believed that their master was the source of their creation, that they couldn’t reproduce independently nor had even tried. The whole situation was utterly bizarre.

They didn’t seem to be a threatening race, she’d give them that, yet there was something that didn’t sit right with her about their situation. However, her concerns were outweighed by the captain's judgement, and he was quite happy to let them be taken in by the species for the night.

The Vaalians had given them shelter (a rudimentary looking hut that seemed straight out of a stone age textbook), along with food and drink, and had left the crew alone with their thoughts and their planning. None of them felt at ease at their location but given that they were required to stay on the surface until the next day, they were happy to stay put and go along with it, for at least the shelter was warm and their bellies were full.

Despite everything that was going on, however, the awkwardness between Pavel, her father and her hung over the entire team like a dead weight. It felt like the entire crew’s eyes were on them (save perhaps Mr. Spock's) and Joanna was certain that her feeling was correct. The captain was certainly entertained with their interactions, and it unnerved her how closely the security team, to which she had no connections at all, were watching them. She knew that gossip went around a ship faster than a speeding bullet, but she had not expected whatever was going on between them to spread so far so quickly.

Her dad was trying with him, for that she was happy, but his clear discomfort doing so was making the awkwardness between them all the more evident to the rest of the crew. Still, Bones had ensured the two of them could not sit together alone, or even talk without him butting into the conversation which did not help her situation at all.

It was a welcome change to not having Chekov on her all day long. At least with her father's interventions she could figure out what she wanted to do about their relationship. She was determined to talk to him as soon as possible, and while she couldn’t do that now that her father had decided he was suddenly Pavel’s best friend, at the very least she could make good use of the situation and consider just how she can breach the problem without causing a massive argument.

Pavel, however, had other ideas, and the moment her father left to go relieve himself, Chekov drew closer to her in an instant. Joanna joined the rest of the crew with rolling their eyes at the shamelessly unsubtle movement.

His hand grazed her back as he stood next to her, the contact sent a shiver down her spine. He had not dared to touch her that entire time in front of her father, and the contact, while she did not welcome his company, had been missed. As much as she was dreading having any form of conversation with the man, the hint of his touch, after what had happened between them the previous day, was enough to send her heart racing. 

“Can we talk?” He whispered into her ear with that accent of his, making Joanna’s defences lower dramatically upon hearing it.

She knew him well enough now to know straight away what he was after, and Joanna didn’t even begin to consider refusing him. If she did, the look he gave her following his words certainly removed any apprehension she would have. In her defence, he was too good of a kisser for her to refuse him - they could talk over their relationship another time.

Despite all the inner turmoil that had been going through her head that entire day, just one touch from him, and the promise of a secretive kiss hidden out of view from her father, was enough to make her crumble.

“Sure,” she shrugged, trying her hardest to act like she wasn’t itching to get close with him. “Captain? Are we clear to head out for a little bit?”

Joanna had never seen the captain look as smug.

“Don’t stray too far. And keep your eyes open,” Kirk nodded, the grin on his face saying it all.

Chekov practically bounced at the approval, ushering her out of the hut they were staying in with more enthusiasm than she could ever have mustered.

“Don’t do anything I won’t do!” The captain called after them, neither of them caring to listen to what their commander wanted to say to them.

Pavel’s hand found hers the moment they were clear of the hut, his fingers weaving their way around hers like it was second nature to him.

They were heading into dangerous territory, and not just personally... Even with the warm welcome they had received from the Vaalians, there was something untrustworthy about them, and walking around in their territory with just phasers to protect themselves was slightly worrying. If anything, it gave her an excuse to push her emotions to the back of her mind and allow herself to enjoy herself instead; It wasn’t the time nor the place to discuss what she was so anxious to talk to him about, no matter how urgent the matter felt to her - there were a number of things that could go wrong, they weren’t in the safest of places, and besides, she did want to just kiss him again.

He guided her skilfully towards a clearing in the nearby forest of tree-like flora, close to where they had been when they had discovered the village to begin with. If Joanna wasn’t mistaken, she had an inkling that he had spotted the clearing previously and had marked it in his mind for later. The thought of which made Joanna shake her head bashfully - regardless of his brilliant brain, he still thought about one thing above all else.

The second they were out of eyeline, Pavel took one glance over his shoulder to check the close was clear and drew her into him swiftly. His arms instantly ensnared her, wrapping around her waist, rooting her to him like a flower to the earth. Joanna barely had a chance to catch the grin on his face before his lips melded against hers, their intensity confirming what exactly he was seeking from her.

The movement elicited a breathy laugh from her, her hands meeting at the back of his neck, any thoughts that were plaguing her pushed firmly to the outskirts of her mind.

“I’m glad I got you away,” he muttered against her lips, his words muffled.

She grinned against his lips. “Oh really?”

Pavel didn’t answer, at least not verbally. Instead, his hands grabbed at the clothes on her back, his fingers hot against her through her away team jacket. Evidently, the man had been starving for her touch, a thought Joanna would cling to for as long as she could. She had to arch her back at the pressure he was exerting, allowing his intensity to push her backwards, the only thing holding her steady was his arms around her. Joanna’s lips caught his bottom one, earning her a whimper that made her feel wanted.

“You know, I’m going to take you out on a nice date sometime,” Joanna could feel the smirk on his face as he spoke, his words broken up through his kisses. “I’m thinking a trip to Russia… probably Moscow, you know I know the greatest restaurant I’d love to take you to.”

His words worried her, reminding her of her anxious thoughts but she chose not to let them affect her. She could dissect his proposition at a later date, right then, all she cared about was being as close to him as she possibly could. 

“Stop talking,” she growled, her mind set on allowing this to go on as long as she could before they would be missed.

Joanna started her counterattack on him, kissing him harder, straightening herself up in the process. Her hands fell to his shoulders, urging him to move backwards until she could get him just where she wanted him. His back collided against something that resembled a tree back on earth, the tree happy to support the force from her aggressiveness.

With the skill of a master, Pavel’s hands dropped to her hips, pulling her closer to him as he moved his thigh in between hers, exerting the perfect amount of pressure there to make her moan. She sent out a silent thanks out to whichever girl that came before her that taught him that trick, rolling her hips into him and counting her lucky stars that she had found someone on the ship who was so good at reading her body.

Her lips parted, urging him to do the same, only to have him pull away from her completely, his head falling back against the tree. Pav was looking down at her with that intensity that always made her feel nervous, her heart jumping into her throat at whatever was going to be coming her way.

“I mean it, Jo. I would like to take you on a date,” he whispered, biting his lip slightly in anticipation.

Joanna froze everything, the stroke of his thumbs at her hips her only anchor. He’d gone and blown her problem into the forefront of her mind unknowingly, and there was no way she was going to be able to keep it in now. She could thank her father’s genes for that.

“Pav...” Joanna started, trailing off unable to put into words just what issue she had with that proposition.

Chekov groaned, his demeanour instantly dropping at her lack of enthusiasm at his offer. His expression soured, his eyes closing. 

They were going to argue about this, she just knew.

“Don’t do this to me.” He pleaded with her, frowning playfully but she knew he was panicking more than he was letting on.

It wasn’t that she wanted to shy away from the idea of going on a date with the man, in fact, she would probably love to, but that was not what they agreed with. She was a girl who needed clarity, and there was no way she was going to allow herself to be romanced by him without talking about it first. Maybe if he was a guy without a past, without a history, she have let herself just go along with it but he was a womaniser, he knew exactly what he was doing and how to play the game. Joanna wasn’t going to go down that path unguarded.

“I don’t think we should do this here,” she attempted to reason with him, but the force behind his gaze killed any hope within her of that happening.

“Out with it.”

Joanna’s hands fell to his upper arms, holding him at arm’s length as she inspected him closely. His leg was still between hers, but any pressure there she once found irresistible no longer held power over her.

“Fine,” she scowled, desperately searching her brain for words that had meaning. “Okay… well, um… I think we should slow things down in that department.”

Pavel’s eyes narrowed at her words, his thoughts searching for any hidden meanings that might be there. Offended (or disappointed, she could not tell), he unravelled himself from her completely, and Joanna took the opportunity to take a step back from him, her arms crossing in a defensive manner.

She had seen that look on him before many times. Pavel Chekov, while brilliant, was so very obvious when he was angry.

“I don’t understand you – at all!” His arms threw up in the air, evidently already enraged without her needing to provoke it. “I don’t want to be a part of your games, Jo!”

With that, he moved to get away from her, his shoulder brushing against hers as he stalked over to where they had entered the clearing. As much as she hated that he was being that way, there was no chance she was going to let him go back to the crew with that attitude. They already were the talk of the town; they couldn’t add fuel to the flame with him returning looking like a fire-breathing dragon. 

“Pav, don’t!” Joanna moved in front of him, her hands resting on his chest.

She didn’t know exactly how she was going to do it, but there was no way she could let him leave without settling him down a little bit.

His gaze met hers, the scowl on his face speaking volumes. He set his jaw, ready to hear her out but not prepared to accept what she was going to say – it was hopeful, at least.

“Look, listen to me before you go storming off,” she implored him, her eyes frantically trying to explain the importance of the situation to him.

Pavel sank a little at that, watching her expectedly. He wasn’t going to be moving any time soon, but she could see he was already hurt.

“I would like to go on a date with you,” she held up a hand to stop him from interrupting her. “I would! It’s just you made it very clear to me that you wanted no commitments, and this is certainly not any commitments… and I know a date isn't really a commitment, but we are moving quite fast considering there's nothing serious here... not to mention the sleeping arrangements last night...”

Joanna watching him uneasily, seeing the rage that flashed across his face. His arms flew defiantly to his hips, ready to bring the argument up a notch. If there was one thing the two of them did better than lusting after each other, it was arguing.

“I’m the one that’s not clear? You’re the one who’s happily going along with it, kissing me just seconds ago, and now you’re wanting to stop it? At least my intentions have been clear!” The fury in his tone rang out through the clearing, making her tense like a naughty child being shouted at.

But Joanna was never one to back off lightly. “Pav, I wasn’t the one asking you on dates, or asking you to sleep with them! If I remember correctly you were messaging me much more than I was replying.”

His eyebrows rose dramatically at that, his cheeks becoming flustered and his accent growing stronger. “You _agreed_! You didn’t complain, in fact you seemed to like it.”

“I did - do - like it!” Joanna replied before she could think, not really sure what she was admitting to.

“Then why are you fighting it!” Pavel groaned in frustration.

“I’m not!”

“You are.” He glared at her, his gaze like daggers against her conscience.

Yes, she was fighting it. But she was sure as hell not going to admit it. Instead of rising to it, she sighed, her mind wondering just how long they had been out there for.

“Look, Pav. We shouldn’t do this here,” she sighed, bringing her tone down a few notches, pleading with him to do the same.

“No,” Pavel wasn’t going to let her off lightly. “I agree, we need to talk once we are out of danger, but you will give me an explanation now.”

Joanna rolled her eyes, unwilling to let him get his way, knowing there was no chance in hell it wouldn't start up another round of shouting. “Okay, Pav. Good chat.”

With that she started to make her way out of the clearing, unable to continue to deal with him while he was in this mood. Behind her, he let out a flurry of Russian expletives and insults that she was glad she didn’t understand fully.

“Don’t walk away from me, Jo!”

Chekov called after her, she could hear his quick footsteps following behind her. He fell into step next to her, his anger radiating in every direction. A hand came to her elbow as they were nearing their home for the evening, stopping her movements and forcing her to turn to look at him.

“At least tell me what your issues are so I can be ready for our next argument,” He whispered cautious of how close they were to the crew, his tone still as aggressive.

Though, his expression seemed to have simmered quite a bit, but there was anger in his eyes that made Joanna want to kiss him breathless and slap him at the same time. There was something so unnerving about seeing the navigator being so worked up over her, just seeing any man being so invested in her in general - it was thrilling and horrifying at the same time.

“You haven’t been listening to me,” Joanna cautioned, eager to put an end to things. “I’m not your girlfriend, we agreed on that already, but we are acting like I am. We can’t have it both ways… and I’m not a pawn in one of your games.”

Joanna regretted adding the last part the instant it left her lips, a heartbreaking look took over his eyes. Yet, she had said it, and it was true, there was no use taking it back. She left before he got a chance to say anything else, leaving him stewing in his own anger and bruised ego. They were certainly in for one hell of an argument when they got back.

* * *

Unbeknownst to them, Joanna and Pavel had done something that evening that neither of them could ever understand, not truly.

They had started a revolution, a movement amongst the species that had previously been denied to them – they had taught the Vaalian guards who watched them secretly in the shadows to feel, to touch, to be a living being. Once the thought was there, there was no coming back from that - neither Joanna or Pavel would know just how much their relationship had effected an entire species. They had taught them more than their master had taught them in a just a matter of minutes, they had taught them about the basic pleasure two creatures could give to one another... but they had also taught them about anger, about hurt, and that was one fire that could keep on spreading until it had burnt the entire planet to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the mission a red herring?? Who knows!
> 
> (also Joanna is being so hypocritical and I love it.)


	18. Everything inside us burning with desire, now

The Vaalians decided that the following morning was a good time to attack them.

The first attack came from the sky, a lightning bolt to the back of Mr Spock after he and the captain had met with the Vaal head, firmly solidifying that the previous generosity exhibited by the rock had been false. Vaal wanted to harm them and was trying to do so in the best way it knew how – energy. It had enough of it use it against them, and the first victim had been Mr Spock.

The attack hadn’t injured him much, exerting the perfect amount of electricity to harm the Vulcan but not give him any serious injuries. It was displaying its power, its intelligence, yet it succeeded most in pissing them off. It was a warning that they did not belong there, and none of them took it well.

Spurred on by their mechanical master, the species rounded them up in the village after they had eaten breakfast, and instantly began swinging at them with little skill nor determination. They had clearly never attacked a person before, and this was most evident in the crew’s ability to swiftly subdue the entire village without the use of phasers. Even Joanna, untrained other than the few childhood brawls she had been in (she was always one to choose harsh words over fists), was able to floor a few of them without much effort.

From their quick yielding, it was evident that their hearts - or whatever their species’ equivalent might be – was not in the attack. They were speedy to admit the Vaal had put them up to it, and it was easy to confine them into one of the huts while they figured out just what to do with them.

Chekov, potentially because their captain wished to put the anger he was clearly displaying to good use, along with a couple of the security officers were instructed to stay watch in the hut, leaving her privy to the creation of the plan from the captain – something she felt unqualified for, but she would take the opportunities as they come.

They quickly agreed that Vaal needed to be destroyed and that the return of Mr Scott with the ship was the best way to attack the problem. Issue was, Mr Scott, according to his last transmission, was a good hour away from their position so the main objective was to keep everyone (or everything) busy until then.

“Bones, Bones Jr. – stay with Chekov. Make sure they don’t serve the Vaal.” There was no smirk on the captain’s face when he ordered the three of them to stick together that time. “Hopefully it will keep him weak – or whatever the food does to it… it’s confusing… just keep them there.”

Her father and her agreed, both with small smiles on their face at his words. As missions go – and this was only her second, this one was so very odd.

Chekov had a face like thunder when they entered the hut, holding the Vaalians at bay by just his glare alone. He was still brooding, despite having the entire night to bury his anger. He was sat on a bench by the door, his back resting against the wall, his arms crossed in defiance.

The moment she walked into the hut, she could feel his eyes on her, burning holes into her body, his distaste at her being there evident. She wasn't in the mood for his theatrics. So, instead of ignoring the sulking man, Joanna rounded on him in an instant, her hands falling to her hips, a judgemental look in her eyes. Chekov melted under her gaze, his face turning away from her completely.

It was childish and rude. She scoffed.

Then she noticed the redness surrounding his left wrist against his chest, the injury there clear as day. Reluctantly, Joanna sighed, falling on the bench next to him and held out her hand to him.

“Let’s see it,” she ordered, earning her a suspicious look from both Chekov and her father.

He grudgingly dropped his arm into her open hand, the frown on his face rivalling that of a small child. If she wasn’t so unnerved at the oddness of the situation she would have found it rather comical.

Pavel Chekov, evidently, did not know how to process annoyance maturely.

He refused to look at her as she inspected his wrist, gingerly applying pressure to the bones located there. There was nothing amiss, though from the anger displayed on his skin there, he would definitely be hosting a nasty bruise there tomorrow.

“It’s not broken,” she muttered, watching the delicate movements of his expression as she talked.

“Hmf!” He snarled, snatching his hand away from her the moment she released it.

Joanna couldn’t help but shake her head at that, a smirk upon her face at his childishness. She supposed she should take it as a compliment – clearly she had such an effect upon the man that he had lost all logic and maturity.

Truthfully, she didn’t understand his reaction at all – both then and the night before. She knew from her previous arguments with him that he was a bit of a live wire when it came to confrontation, sometimes he bit back, others he tried to keep his cool and just annoyed her further. She had gotten pretty good at predicting what he would feel about a situation, but how that would manifest into his actions she had yet to understand at all.

She certainly hadn’t expected this to affect him so deeply, and to such a degree that it turned him into a complete moron. In fact, seeing him so miserable at her still was beginning to get the rise out of her she knew he was craving.

“Honestly, Pav. You need to get over yourself - you’re barking up the wrong tree here. I didn’t say I didn't want it, just that we needed to discuss some things first,” Joanna cautioned him, not appreciating his continual sulk.

If she was in the wrong, she would have been happy to make amends with the man but no, he could not blame her for wanting a little more clarity. It was him, after all, that was charging at her like a bull in a china shop, so powerfully and carelessly.

Pavel, still not willing to see sense, returned to his previous position with his arms crossed, his gaze straight ahead at their Vaalian captives. Why he was being so defiant she did not know, but she was tired of humouring his bullshit any longer.

“Are you two fighting already?” Her father grumbled at them before she had a chance to chastise him further.

Joanna turned to meet his amused face – he has been watching the whole exchange. While she was certain that her dad had not overheard what they – she, even – had talked about, there was no way the tension between them was invisible.

Now it was her father’s turn to be cautioned. “Dad.”

She threw her dad a look that told him to back off, and from the grin that appeared on his face, it was unlikely that he would do so.

“I take that as a yes,” he muttered amusedly, before his gaze shifted to the man next to her, the warmth of his eyes draining immediately. “Remember what I told you, Chekov.”

Next to her, she was pretty sure she heard Chekov gulp.

Joanna made a note to quiz the Russian on just what her father had been telling him.

* * *

Scotty had come as promised and with him came the devastating blow of the ship’s phasers on the Vaal overlord, causing a deep tremor that spanned the entirety of the planet, scaring them all. Even the crew in the hut had begun to panic at the deep rumbling, unsure of what was going on, only for their worries to be subdued by the captain on the comms. The Vaal had been reduced to rubble, leaving Joanna and the men staring at the species they held captive, at a loss as to what to do with them.

They had lost their purpose in life, their supposed creator, and they had heard it over the comms just like they had. Joanna had been worried they would have started a revolt, that they would turn and attack and they would have had to use deadly force to stop the uprising. Instead, much to her joy, the Vaalians appeared to be wishing to do nothing of the sort, and were happy to sit quietly until the captain returned to them, sensing that he would be the man they must speak to before their lives could go on.

Turned out, the Vaalians had already begun to discover the web of lies their chief had spun for them, discovering touch, both passionate and angry, in the crew’s time on the planet. The Vaalians explained it all to them, how they had discussed the matter and agreed they had been lied to, how they were eager to discover how to function as a species together and not by a mechanical dictator. Most interesting of all, perhaps, was their life signs' sudden appearance on their scanning devices, further confirmation that the power the Vaal had over them had disappeared.

The Vaalians had discovered that they could touch one another, and touch the crew, and that everything the Vaal had told them regarding such a natural function had been a complete lie. As they spoke, everyone noted the Captain Kirk, evidently determined to make things as painful as possible, had remarked that if they kept on the way they were going, they would discover the joy of children.

It was pretty obvious when they were saying goodbye to the Vaalians just who had inspired their newfound love for touching, making the situation ten times more awkward for her and Pavel than it already had been. Their leader had their eyes on the two of them as they spoke, meaning there was no way their roles in the Vaalian’s revelation could stay a secret. Her father had scowled deeper than she had even seen before at the conversation.

Of all the things Joanna thought she would do with her life, encouraging an entire species to discover the joys of sex was not on her bucket list. Perhaps they would also think arguing and screaming at one another in the middle of a forest was part of the process too?

Speaking of which, Pavel was still in a fiery mood, though his temper had begun to simmer quite a bit. For one, she had caught him watching her when he thought she was not looking. That was a big improvement on not being able to look in her general direction without his anger boiling over.

By the time Scott had beamed them back aboard the Enterprise, his anger had apparently almost dispersed, and she found him looking over at her expectedly as they stepped off the platform. Joanna had hoped to return to her own room, to get a shower and lounge around for the rest of the day. The captain had given them all the rest of the day off, believing that some time relaxing would be the best medicine to counter what a bizarre day they had had. When they had agreed to the mission, they had all thought they were risking their lives with something related to the shuttles mystery only to be met with that random situation instead. Joanna wanted to go and decompressed more than anything, but from the expectant look he was giving her, she knew that was going to be far from the case.

At the very least, however, he looked as if he knew he owed her an apology, something which Joanna would be more than grateful for.

Her father directed a few sour words towards them as she fell into step next to him, following him back to his room so they could discuss the elephant in the room that desperately needed to be pointed out. The walk was filled with silence and anticipation, and Joanna expected that their conversation would end in another argument. Despite the remorseful look that now lingered on his face, Joanna understood him well enough to know that unless his stance on the matter had changed, there was no way they would make their way through any discussion about their problem without there being harsh words said. While she was miles more stubborn than Pavel Chekov was, she knew if he thought himself to be hard done by, he would fight until the bitter end. She just wished he understood she had not meant it maliciously.

When they arrived at his room, Chekov opened the door and gestured for her to entire, his careful gaze on her the entire time.  She supposed she needed to retrieve the stuff she had left there the day before – at least that was one beneficial thing that could come out of her visit.

Instantly, Joanna took to pacing the room awkwardly, unnerved at the thought of being alone with the man so soon after their last meeting had ended in disaster. She had no clue what to say to him, no inkling on how best to start the conversation they were both anxious to have. Not even the McCoy gift of the gab could help her with this one – she had no desire to fight with him, for once.

Luckily for her, the navigator, who had taken a seat on his unmade bed, their previous activities there obvious, decided to put them both out of their misery.

“That… that was a weird day,” he chuckled uncomfortably, his voice displaying his unease at being so close with her.

Joanna stopped her pacing to study him closely, trying to gage just what might have been going through that mind of his. Chekov's gaze was not on her, however, instead he was focused on removing his boots, giving her ample opportunity to take him in properly. He looked unkempt, the stress of an overnight away mission displayed all over his body, from the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and the way his curls refused to lay flat (though that was nothing out of the usual, she was coming to learn). He looked absolutely exhausted, and for the first time since they had departed the planet, Joanna didn’t think they would be arguing that night, he didn’t seem to have the energy for it.

“You stop sulking now?” Joanna attempted a joke, testing the waters to get a sense of his mood.

Rather than biting back at her for her uncouthness, Pavel just sighed and dropped his boots onto the floor, his eyes coming to meet hers.

A small, embarrassed smile appeared on his face. “Yes. I’m sorry.”

His eyes never left hers, and Joanna felt like laughing in relief at the lack of malice on his face. He had calmed down an awful lot, and that calmness plunged the room into a comfortable atmosphere.

She could talk, and he would listen, actually listen this time. She would do the same for him – she supposed he wasn’t stupid, there must have been some logic behind his madness.

“Thank you,” she beamed at him, eager to accept his apology and get things back to normal.

Joanna came to sit next to him on the bed, mirroring his position as she undid her own boots, her feet eager to get out of the confined spaces.

While he was mumbling, clearly embarrassed, she heard every word he said. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

No, he really shouldn’t have. He had no right to react the way he did, so aggressive and passionate, and the thought that he had done so had unnerved her deeply. He’d never hurt her, she knew that, but it was the intensity at which he had felt things for her that had disturbed her the most. It was the whole reason for their argument to begin with.

“Yeah, you really threw the teddy out of the cot, didn’t you?” Joanna grinned at him, watching as her joke made him squirm slightly.

Joanna turned to face him properly, her back resting against the headboard, her legs crossed in front of her. Instantly, almost as if the action was natural to him, the hand closest to her was gingerly placed upon her knee. The away team trousers prevent his hand from touching her skin, and Joanna had never yearned to be in her standard Starfleet dress as much as she did then.

No matter how much she was at odds with him, no matter what he said or how he treated her, she always craved his touch.

“Hm, I suppose so,” his gaze was fixated on his hand resting against her leg, a slight melancholy look about him as he did so. “Though, I still don’t understand you.”

Chekov’s eyes flew to watch her reaction to those words, unsure whether he may have crossed yet another line with his words or not. He was close to, she’d admit to that, though she appreciated it was not the time to fight back on that just yet. Joanna didn’t know how she could be any clearer, it was him who didn’t want to talk about it civilly.

“That’s fair,” she nodded, happy to compromise.

Chekov looked at her expectedly, signalling to her that he had nothing further he wished to say. It was her turn now, and Joanna had had the entire day to think of what she was going to say to him. With their argument forgiven, there was still the matter at hand of what they had argued about, and Joanna knew there was no point trying to avoid the subject.

“I would love to go on a date with you,” she started, hoping that having that as her opening statement, there was less chance he would argue with what was to come.

Chekov broke out into a warm grin, his eyes bright at the thought.“You would?”

“Absolutely.”

The grin started to falter on his face when he sensed what was to come next, his hand tightened around her knee.

“But?” His eyebrows rose, urging her to get to the kill shot of her argument that they both knew was coming.

“But we can’t go on like this if we are having no commitments,” Joanna finished off, grimacing slightly as she took in his reaction. "Thats what we agreed on, and I don't think a date or coming to your room all the time falls under that."

Chekov turned solemn, his eyes glazing over like he was deep in thought. He didn’t seem angry or disappointed, just distant, like he was hearing her words for the first time despite her telling him the same thing the day prior. It was only when he started nodding to himself that Joanna knew she had gotten through to him.

“So…” Joanna leaned forward, bidding herself some time, her hand coming to rest on top of his at her knee. “You’re not just some flight of fancy for me. There are genuine feelings there... And I can tell from that shit show you showed me on the surface that you probably feel the same.”

Her breath hitched in her throat as she waited for a response, nervous just in case he rejected her view of the situation. She was certain he felt that way about her, there was no way anyone could display such forceful emotions and not feel anything about the source of them. It was more than either of them had expected, and it had come about way too fast.

“Yes,” his brow furrowed as he met her stare again, almost as if his feelings confused him just as much as they had her. “I do.”

They had clarified the two liked each other when they had first discussed the terms of their relationship, but they both knew what they were admitting now was something much different from their original agreement. It wasn’t just simply a boy and girl who wanted some fun and found each other attractive, it was something more, and they needed to establish that before they should do anything else or else they were going to end up a mess.

“My only issue - and don’t go off your rocker at this - is that you know how to play girls like a fiddle,” Joanna squeezed his hand, eager to convey to him that she didn’t mean that out of spite. “I ain’t someone you can walk all over.”

Chekov chuckled at this, knowing it to be true. Part of her knew she was not being played by him, she could feel it in her heart that his feelings were true, but her brain would not let her be so thoughtless. Her mother, probably borne out of anger towards her father and the string of men that had come after him, had taught her to keep her heart guarded when it came to the people she developed feelings for, and it was so instilled into her that she could not let it go easily.

“I know you aren’t,” Pavel smirked at her, giving her a sidewards glance that was a complete U-turn from his reaction the last time she told him that. “I expect the same – you’re not the easiest person to read.”

His accent had particular trouble with ‘easiest’, and she couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she found it – she was well and truly smitten with the man. Her feelings for him had crept up on her when she wasn’t looking, and she was only just beginning to understand the extent of them. It scared her, the thought of how quickly things had developed, how she could be so weary of the levels of his affections for her yet craved for them to be stronger, nonetheless. All that and she yearned to be close with him despite all this inner turmoil.

He was going to drive her mad. At least she could drive him mad with her.

Joanna gave him a wicked grin, knowing the best subject to bring up to make him writhe. “Besides, if you fuck things up my dad will kill you.”

“Aye...” Chekov sighed, his eyes widening in panic at the thought.

It was only then that she remembered her father’s words to Chekov back in the hut, his warning to stop arguing with her and think about what he had said to him. She had an inkling about what the chat contained, her father was turning out to be a stereotypical overprotective father after all, but the details or even when the conversation occurred was a complete mystery to her.

“What’s he said to you?” Joanna prompted him, begging him to enlighten her about her father’s meddling in their relationship.

Pavel groaned a little at recalling the memory, a grimace appearing at his lips at the thought. Without giving her an immediate answer, he removed his hand from hers, and swung his legs up onto the bed in between them, crossing them and mirroring her position in front of him. There would be no avoiding each other now, there was ample opportunity to gaze into each other’s eyes.

It felt intimate, romantic even, and it dawned on her that they had never really been so open and honest with each other in the entire time they had spent together. This felt different.

“Oh, the usual. If I hurt you, he will – and I quote – hang me out of the side of the ship until I either freeze, burn or suffocate, depending on where we are when he does it. Then he will revive me, only to give me every single disease from this quadrant and kill me all over again,” Chekov’s face lit up as he spoke, dramatising his emotions with the enthusiastic energy that was so very him. “He caught me the other day on the bridge, I didn’t think to tell you.”

The thought of her father pulling Chekov aside on the bridge, the room filled with the watchful glances of their friends and colleagues on them the entire time. Joanna reckoned her dad would have put his best foot forward, playing up to the most aggressive and threatening version of himself and then some. She imagined Chekov to flinch at his words, wishing to die right then and there on the spot. If she didn’t find the dynamic with her father and him so awkward at the moment, she would have loved to see it in person.

“Sounds very thorough,” Joanna feigned seriousness, teasing him and his obvious discomfort at being confronted by her father. “And that’s before I even get my hands on you.”

“I’m already terrified.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, matching grins on their faces at the prospect of what had transpired between them, what was to come. There was something between them that neither of them expected to occur – she certainly didn’t expect this to happen when she met him all those months ago back in that club.

It was a relief to know that not only did he think the same as her about the two of them, but also that they had talked, and had done so without arguing. It was a pretty great outcome considering the last time she had brought it up he had shouted at her and acted like a moron.

A change in his eyes brought Joanna away from her thoughts, an intensity growing in them that she had seen a number of times before. No matter how many times she saw it though, it never failed to make her heart race. It was as if he was pouring every ounce of his feelings into that one look, conveying a million different emotions effortlessly, and it would never fail to affect her entire being.

“Well, we agree then – this is something, huh?” He murmured serenely, with a content expression that made her feel all warm inside.

Joanna had to gulp quickly before she was able to talk again, almost as if she had to push down the emotions that were rising within her at the look.

“We are definitely something… there’s some strings here for sure,” she joked, referencing the conversation that had marked the beginning of their journey together.

“We will be monogamous, da.”

The bluntness of his words took her aback, reminding her that no matter how romantic he seemed to be, there was always some kind of weird, lost in translation, Chekov-ism close by. “Oh, Pavel… how very romantic of you to say.”

Joanna delighted at hearing him laugh at her sarcasm, grateful that despite everything that had happened, between their argument to the shuttles mystery, there were still opportunities for them to be youthful and enjoy their time together.

They stayed grinning at each other long after his laughter died down, neither of them wishing or thinking about the prospect of moving their conversation along anytime soon. In their silence, there was something shared between them that Joanna couldn’t put her finger on, a warmth and a joy that made her feel incredibly comfortable, like he was made just to be there with her that day. It was mind-blowing, and she never wanted it to end.

It did though. The breaking of their moment came in the form of a wince from him, followed by the moving of his attention to his injury on his wrist.

“How’s it feeling?” Joanna furrowed her brow in concern, reaching out to take his hand in hers once again.

The bruise was already starting to darken, the tell-tale blues and purples of damage appearing on the inner side of his wrist, their colour matching the darkness of his veins that were displayed there. Despite all the advantages of modern medicine, there was really nothing worth doing to treat a simple bruise – by the time they had calibrated any equipment it would already be halfway healed.

“It’s sore. I’ll be fine though.”

Without giving it a second thought, Joanna brought his wrist closer to her and met it halfway with her lips. Scared to apply too much pressure, Joanna brushed her lips over the bruise, relishing in the coolness of his skin as well as she could with her gentleness. It was only when she straightened herself back up and saw the look of surprise on his face that Joanna realised what she had done.

She supposed he had never seen that side to her, she always had such a hard exterior around him.

Joanna blushed, feeling like she had been caught out. “That’s the first thing dad ever taught me about medicine.

Pavel stared at her in shock, a small smile growing on his face at her movements. Then, the smile grew into a smirk, and was followed swiftly with a wicked glint in his eyes.

“My mother taught me the same… here hurts too.”

Pavel pointed at his cheek, turning his face to allow her a better look at him. As far as she was aware, he had received no injuries to his face, he was just teasing her. Clearly his intentions with her had turned to more physical and carnal pursuits.

“Oh, does it?” Joanna rolled her eyes but moved to press a chaste kiss against his cheek regardless. “I suppose you’re going to tell me this hurts next.”

Her lips struck his without missing a beat, Joanna predicting just where he was heading next. It was one of the oldest tricks in the book, she swore she had seen it in a load of old movies but that didn’t stop her from smiling at his playfulness. Once again, Pavel Chekov could give her the most basic of plays and it never failed to have an effect on her. He truly was brilliant at it.

He returned the kiss eagerly, forever happy to kiss her whenever she wished. Their kiss was gentle to begin with, with every intention of it being a simple peck like she had given to the other spots on his body, but the moment his hands came up to cradle her face, something he seemed to be in the habit of doing whenever he kissed her, Joanna had no reason to move away any time soon.

The pressure from his lips was promising, a hint that after days of dancing around the idea of sharing his bed in an additional way to what she had already might finally come into fruition. Joanna felt his smirk under her lips before he broke away from her, their foreheads resting together momentarily.

“No, I was going to say something further south,” he whispered, his voice full of glee.

Joanna’s laugh was silenced by his lips on hers once more, hungrier this time, and the intent behind them much clearer. She needed to be closer to him, she wanted more, and it irritated her that their positions did not allow for that. Their legs crossed between them, their knees touching, they were having to lean forward for their lips to touch – there was no way things were going to advance like she wanted if they stayed in that position.

Joanna’s hands, which had remained lifeless on her lap from the shock of his kiss, came up to wrap around his wrists, careful not to give the man any further pain there, and guided him to move. Her lips continued their assault on his as she pushed him back, the pressure of her lips and hands forcing him to move. He got the message and began to lean back, steadying them both as he came to rest against his mattress, never once breaking the kiss.

It took them a moment to untangle themselves from each other, Chekov straightening out his legs and getting settled beneath her. Joanna had to break the kiss to allow him to move, making the most of the time to pull out the tie to her messy ponytail she had been supporting all day as she straddle his abdomen. His hands manoeuvred to the back of her thighs as he waited for her to finish, his fingers dangerously close to brushing over her ass.  There would be time for that, eventually.

She had thought Chekov hovering above her was a sight to see, but it was nothing compared to the surge of desire stirring within her upon seeing him underneath her. 

He licked his lips in anticipation as he watched her through half closed eyes, their heat affecting her entire body. She was back on him the moment she had finished with her hair, their lips colliding frantically like it was their first kiss after years of yearning for one another.  Pavel made quick work of removing her jacket, pushing it from her shoulders and dropping it to the floor next to them, leaving her in only the skin-tight shirt that went with the uniform. The material was thin and breathable, and he took advantage of its sheerness, his fingers wandering over her sides and her back as they continued to kiss, leaving a trail of fire wherever they went.

When she moved her hips, shuffling herself into a more comfortable position to lean down and kiss him, she felt that familiar pressure underneath her that told her exactly what she wanted to know. He wanted her. They were going to do this, finally. That is, if her father and his perfect timing didn’t find a way to cockblock this kiss as well. Her father…

Chekov protested as Joanna pulled away from him, sitting up straight, her hands pressing firmly into his chest, preventing him from bringing her back to him. She didn’t give him an explanation as she began to move, leaning down to reach for her jacket he had unceremoniously thrown on the floor, her hands seeking one device in particular.

“I’m going to silence my comm,” she slurred as she found the device, her voice weak and flustered from their previous activities.

Pavel seemed to understand just why she was acting so, knowing that there was no way her father could prevent this from occurring a second time. He came up to meet her as she returned victorious, his face inches from hers, that intense look she was becoming familiar with all over his face.

“I do not want to think about you father right now,” Pavel pulled her into a searing kiss, putting an end to their conversation completely.

There would be time for talking tomorrow, right then, all Joanna cared about was kissing him, following him back against the mattress like her life depended on it. It was time for him to put his money where his mouth was, to put to use all that practice Joanna knew he had and to manifest his feelings for her through touch.

His hands were everywhere, roaming her body as if he owned it, his fingers tracing her spin underneath her shirt, and Joanna didn’t mind in the slightest. Quite frankly, right then he could do anything he wished to her and she wouldn’t care. She just needed him, needed this, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. She just couldn’t get enough of him – even as he gave her everything he had, and then some.


End file.
